The beautiful grace and work that is the Walters Family Journey
So Im thinking for this season, I need to be learning a ton. Reprograming a ton. But maybe not so much Blog writing. This feels diff. to me, more like an online journal of my day and my babes day. I really want to remember the cute and wonderful things they do and the things we all experience together so lets get this party started and start the journey called just writing to write not so much to be known.
This is my anthem during this season, be a woman of God instead of trying to be known as A Woman of God. So..It is my aim. Jesus- Help please.
For today, Ab has a double ear infection. You could never tell bc she smiles the whole way through the day. Last night at the Riverdogs game (album) she said her ear hurt and sure enough today double infection. When the doc. left she said, "well...that went well". Truly she always aims to find joy and has such a positive outlook on life. Im reading a book right now called Making your Love last, Gary Smalley. Its actually kindof a work book. But it works under the critical truth that you can never have a fulfilling love relationship if you dont first love your life and choose to love your life each day. I am excited for Abigails sweet husband she is truly such a joy and I cannot wait to watch Jesus grow this fruit in her as well as so many others.
Abe today at the doc truly weighed almost 40 lbs. Yep at 15 months he is so large and in charge. He has been doing a great job with correction though lately really liking to test but more so liking to please and that is a VERY good combination for training.
Its funny how much we all miss AnnaJaye during the day while she is at school. I find myself praying for her and Josh so much more fulfilling this role of being home during the day. I like the missing, I think Jesus does too.
Tonight we are going to try to have a Circle of Blessing family night complete with dances, Circled food, Table Mats and teaching...we will see. I am going to try to model after the whitaker womans family nights that are so creative and really done with excellence, I think if we are gonna do it we need to go for it full on:) pics and videos to come..
Blessed be the name. Really I cannot believe this is my job in this season. I feel overwhelmed most days and the blessing and sanctifying role that the Lord is allowing me to fill in this season. There are so many things I would love to share bc at times my heart feels like it wants to burst and say finally, what i was created for. I know so well that for today, for this moment I am walking in his perfect will and that is a place I had forgotten for so long and those of you who know that place know truly that, one day in his courts is better..
I just also need to say bc the women in our family process things really quickly, which can be a blessing or curse:) There are a few must for me, that I have already learned in week 2 that I am prob. going to need to have written down to go back to.
1. a morning QT is a must, before the babes wake up. It makes nap time not stressful, trying to at some point always fit in time with him. it allows me to think on what he has shown me all day, and it frees me to be better with his holy spirit that is so needed for the moment to moment of trying to look like him all day.
2. nap time is God ordained. this job is so physical, mental and emotional and without a recharge point even 10 min. it is not doable.
3. "Cleanliness is close to godliness" is not so far off in this arena. Now I have been a crazy house cleaner for the wrong reason very often, making the outside of the cup clean for guest or neighbors at the expense of time with my children after coming home from work. but here, if i can give one full day to cleaning, at morning book time, naptime and in the spare moments, this is not "picking up" as I have been accustomed to but, genuine cleaning- showers, toilets, mopping...if I do this one day picking up is so sufficient the rest of the week. also, it makes our home a totally diff. place to be, one that is in order which breeds freedom, creativity and peace.
4. intentional intentional intentional. This is not the place for my flesh temperament of spontaneous, flighty, absent and irresponsible. this is not the place for free spending, unplanned days or being a yes person and over scheduling. with Christ daily i have learned I must speak intentionally, pointing discipline back to scripture and heart issues, modeling all behaviors i want given back and allowing time for spontaneous play, teaching and down time. For me this means one day that is sacred for planning nothing, no grocery runs, no play dates just neighborhood walks, parks whatever the day brings for the babes and myself.
5. When Christ calls i will follow. Provision has come, daily. He is more than faithful. His way is sweeter. There is more beautiful, productive fruit long term on His terms. I need HIM Oh so much and I Love Him more than that. He makes me weep at the mention of His name and I want my kids to say that mommy Loved Her Jesus. That Ephesians 1&2 will ring true and that out of His special favor, and not my works, they will point to Me as an example of His BIG Mercy, Kindness and Love.
Oh the joy of my days in the pursuit of Him. Lord thank you thank you. Thank you for the role of woman, mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend that you have created me to be. Thank you most for the role of your child, your work and masterpiece, may it be so Father.
So today, I was headed to First Weds. for worship and it set in. I have not struggled with doubt as much as recently and it comes in waves in big things and small. Tonight it was-
Can He really show up in an experience of worship, to praise Him, does He listen and smile and delight in it?
What about feelings, can he really champion them, stop them, over power them?
What about dreaming, when I doubt His power in me, His will wanting to make something of Himself in me and through me?
So the list goes on, there is small stuff like financial for me or my family and much weightier ones like the generations and if my prayers for the great grands and babes are vital and effective.
And then, I come to His throne and remember all those people, all their stories, will, sin and emotions and He is their God and wants to be seen in and through them. So He comes, with rich love and power that I dont understand. He actually is Able. Able to rescue the thought life, the Monday, the lazy momma, the unyielding rebellion and the broken ache. He is able. So sweet.
This was my favorite song tonight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EBSvFlBoIs
lyrics:
Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
and crowned with love
when i see him i
shall be made like him
soon and very soon
soon and very soon
i'll be going
to the place he has prepared for me
there my sin erased
my shame forgotten
soon and very soon
i will be with the one i love
with unveiled face i'll see him
there my soul will be satisfied
soon and very soon
soon and very soon
see the procession
the angels and the elders
round the throne
at his feet i lay
my cry's my worship
soon and very soon
i will be with the one i love
with unveiled face i'll see him
there my soul will be satisfied
soon and very soon
though i have not seen him
my heart knows him well
jesus christ the lamb
the lord of heaven
I will be with one i love
with unveiled face i'll see him
there my soul will be satisfied
soon and very soon
soon and very soon
soon and very soon
So funny today between driving the girls to ballet and keeping 2 other kids here at the house. I found myself saying these things,
"abe sweetheart, dont lick the ajax- i think thats what happened to abbigail."
"Abigail if you and Izzy dont get a long I will have to put you in the work it out corner"- um..they are two girls, like thats a consequence
Plus, many more- like hold on annajaye mommy has one more shirt to fold then you can start unfolding them and putting on the clean laundry.
So as I was reading some people's twitters they said things like, North Korea girls are being released..or preparing for leadership conference..or working on alignment study. So those things make me feel very, well I dont know, dumb, because I really dont know what any of them are. But then I have some time with the Lord and he shows up in His word, it really is the most amazing thing about this relationship and religion called Christianity that His word is alive. But he shows up and says this from Proverbs 3:
1My son,do not forget my teaching,
But let your heart keep my commandments;
2For length of days and years of life
And peace they will add to you.
3Do not letkindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
4So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
8It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones.
Its so sweet because A its such an important job to be a parent and get to teach wisdom that they will not turn away from. But more really for me in this season is to seek it. To search for wisdom like a Ruby, to realize that it is what will author my days in His will. Wisdom and knowledge he says will become your joy. I feel I search for joy from so many other places and really, wisdom it is that brings it- thats new for me. So here I go teaching but first seeking wisdom, His, not my own and not the worlds. Praise Him for making an alive word that can root it.
Bedtime is by far my very very favorite time of the night. Just tonight AnnaJaye says: "Momma, you are so nice, your nice to everyone, even daddy, you are as nice as Jesus." The best I could ever ever hope for is that they see in some grace filled way His love in me.
Abigail says, "Mom- being a mom is a hard job, when I grow up I def. wanna be a daddy." This is even more hillarious because we all know who works harder in this family...but Ill take it!