Wow, I cannot believe that I am only two weeks away of going to America and Mike is following shortly after that. The 9 months have flown by for me and I wish Jackie feels the same. Jackie is doing fantastic; however she is doing all the hard work and not me. I have kept myself occupied with organizing our wedding and after that the baby room and taking control of all the preparation you need to think of when you are expecting twins.
For wedding presents we asked for baby furniture, baby clothing, baby socks, baby toys, baby sheets, baby chairs etc. etc. and guess what, we got it all (Thank you to all of our generous friend and family). However, I am trying not to get carried away with the high street baby stuff and still have some great old fashion attributes. We are going to try cloth diapers. It was a great pleasure to receive all our gifts and unwrap them. I also managed to set the cots together, all by myself, but I will ask Michael to check all the screws, just in case.
Last week Jackie and Amy emailed us a photo of Jackie and she looks fantastic, she has this beautiful big perfectly round belly and our boys are already 4 pounds each.!! Seeing this photo had a great impact on Mike and me, it got so real and so close by! We were singing and smiling for hours.....not just a smile, I am talking from ear to ear!
I cannot help myself to wonder how big the shock will be to become a mother! I guess it will be pretty big and pretty new. Some days I think about what I miss in the mother initiative because my babies are not growing in my belly....and I cannot name one thing...I think I will be a good mum but it did help when my Auntie Jeanne (who I'd been a nanny for when she had twins so many years ago) confirmed this.
Today I went to the supermarket and there was a grandmother waiting in the front of the shop blocking (without realizing) the pass through for the customers. When she finally noticed (as a queue of 3 people was forming) she apologized saying 'I am sorry I am not used to this stroller' It was one of the new fancy strollers with outstanding front wheels. I smiled to the lovely lady thinking: should I tell her that I already have been pushing my twin fancy stroller through the house? I just smiled because Michael did it too so it can't be that strange.
Carla
Jackie is doing a great job and we are now 26 weeks into the pregnancy. We are very pleased and so excited!!! I have read many pregnancy magazines and books. My two favorite books are: 'what to expect when you're expecting and Twins from Katrina Bowman and Louise Ryan.
All books and magazines advise when you are expecting twins to be very organized when they finally arrive. This has brought some things to the extreme as I am already a very organized person in general, however things might have been improved. Michael has already been added to our baby roster and we have discussed his additional duties in case I get too stressed or tired when the babies are home.
A couple of examples regarding the organization;
Two weeks ago we bought a massive freezer (700 liters) that is now already half filled with containers full with nice and healthy meals. The baby toys are nicely in the cabinet and boxes of diapers plus baby wipes (all bought when they were on sale) are ready to use. Baby clothes are on the shelves organized by size and thickness. A diaper caddy has been created as it is easier to get the caddy to the babies then the babies to their nursery room. Grandmothers are organized to give the helping hand in the first couple of months. Our lovely cleaner is informed and will be taking on some extra hours doing washing and cleaning if needed. Casper, our dog, has been successfully trained not to step on the quilt/playmat and is lying patiently in her own basket (for now). An investment of small food containers have been done so when we are ready to introduce solid foods we can start and do not have to shop (am I going too far ahead?) Three baby room designs are drawn, the options: baby room furniture option 1: 2 basinets or option 2: 2 cots or option 3: 1 cot and single bed, we will figure out what works the best when it’s all finally happening. Phone numbers are programmed in the phone and the answer machine is working for when I am not able to answer the phone. All baby furniture will arrive just after our wedding (cannot wait to unpack!). All the cleaning liquids have been moved to the top shelves (yes, I am aware that they will not be able to crawl straight away, I am just preparing for the future!, as the books told me so). The departure checklist is created and ready for us to use and hopefully helping us while packing for America (incl. the baby seats that have to go in the car before departure).
However.....
I confronted Michael a week ago as he has not read a single book regarding his fatherhood. His excuse was that he completely trusts me and knows I will teach him how to manage our twins. As I do have some experience with being a nanny, the twins of my aunty once a week and during school holidays when I was 17 years old, I do think it’s all a bit rusty. So to move on (without arguing as responsible 'new' parents) I showed Michael the following article from my favorite book and it goes like this:
'Although it's hard to admit, I often found the days my husband was home and wanting to help more with the babies were a lot harder for me. It meant I had to incorporate him into the equation and work in with his needs. I found not only did I have to deal with two screaming babies but that I had liaise, negotiate and compromise with him as to how we were going to deal with them. When it was just me, I could get on with it my way.'
Since then Michael has read some more magazines and has taken his chores (washing, firewood and dishwasher management) very seriously. I believe we will be a great team and he will be such a lovely dad.
Finally the time arrived for us to go to America and visit Jackie, Amy and our babies. Obviously I could not sleep on the plane as I was way too excited. We arrived early morning and everything went as planned. We checked in to the hotel, had breakfast and a little sleep. We were going to meet Jackie before our Dr.’s appointment.
We were late to meet Jackie at two because there was no space in the parking lot (I was not happy, I so wanted to see her). We past her as she was waiting outside at the coffee shop and it was good that I had my seatbelt on otherwise I would have jumped out of the car to meet her.
We found a parking spot in the next minute and it was such a great feeling to finally hug Jackie.
She is looking so fantastic and healthy. It was such a nice relaxing feeling to see her and I really missed her in the last couple of months.
To keep myself busy I have been making baby clothes on the sewing machine at home and dragged one item with me to show Jackie and Amy. I was pleasantly surprised that Jackie told me it will be a bit small as she is planning to keep the babies nice and long in her tummy so they are not going to be premature babies. Wow, is she not fantastic?! I answer that, YES she is.
Amy joined us for a coffee and when it was time to go we all went to the clinic. Michael and me still did not know the genders and Amy and Jackie where a bit quiet because they did not want to spoil the surprise by accidentally telling us their genders. Since I knew they knew, I’ve been trying to read their emails deeper and see if they would give it away, but without success. I could not understand how Mike could still be so calm as I was so excited. The clinic was running late and time just crawled by. Finally it was our turn and after Jackie had her cervix checked, we saw baby A for the first time, and soon after that baby B. Wow. That was the best time of my life! They are both really active and look a bit like Kermit the Frog in a good way.
The babies are healthy, active and growing as they should. One is a little bit smaller than the other. Mike was still sitting normal on his chair but when the lady was scanning the babies to show their genders he was sitting on the tip of the chair and I could hear the excitement in his breathing. By this time I stopped breathing I think and just cried when she told us baby A is a 'boy'. Mike did spot this and the excitement bubbled out of the room, I had to cry! We went over to see baby B and (as Mike expected) that is a boy too. WE ARE HAVING TWO BOYS! Tears were running over my cheeks, this is the most beautiful day in my life. We are going to have two baby boys. Our house will be lively, full with excitement and chaos in the next many years. Baby A was already holding his little instrument and Mike proudly laughs 'that is my boy'.
The doctor came in to measure the parts the nurse did not manage to get; such as the fingers and the hearts. But my boys were just too active and jumping up and down so nothing could be measured. So Jackie, Amy, Mike and me declared them healthy without the help of the doctor.
Next in line was to meet Dr. Lee and she is so nice, she gets along with Jackie really well. Hopefully Mike and I are allowed with the birth. She told us heaps of other stuff but I think I was just too overwhelmed to take it all in. WE ARE GETTING BOYS...that was going through my mind constantly.
We slept really well that night and in the morning we caught up with Jackie again. She came to our hotel for breakfast with her Mom, Corrisa and Dylan. It was a fantastic start of the day, it felt like my birthday as I got many presents. From Dylan I got a paper heart with beautiful flowers and lollys and a valentines card. From Corissa I got a blue photo frame which suits the baby room and from Jackie's mom I got two Mickey babies who make music. I love these Mickey Mouse babies and look at them every day.
After breakfast we went shopping and bought 2 car seats and some baby suits in the correct size. It is so much fun to spend time with Jackie and her family; I cannot wait to meet again. After a nice dinner with the complete family (which I really felt a part of) we had to catch our plane back home.
Friday we are leaving for Los Angeles needles to say I AM SO EXCITED!!. Tuesday I have a Meeting Programme with Australian Breasfeeding Association, its called Milk, Mush, Mess - introducing family foods. I have been taking medication to prepare myself for breastfeeding and even with all the horrible stories of friends and family that my nipples going to be sore and crack, I am still so excited about bonding with my childeren. Sometimes it gets a bit lonely not having them in my tummy. I created a tape for the babies with some of my lovely talented singing voice. (ieks) Thank god Jackie has a walkman so she does not have to listen to this.
So how did I end up at the Australian Breast feeding Association, well after I have been googling the best way to organise a breast pump I discovered the Australian Breatfeeding association. As surrogacy is not allowed in Australia I did not think Australia could help me with the set up for breast feeding my babies with exceptions of hospitals. However when I got to their office and spoke to a helpful lady she told me lots of people use the australian breast feeding consultants to set up for breast feeding while expecting an adopted baby. I am so excited and hoping I will meet an mother who is expecting a child via that route. It would be great as I guess we are going though a very similar experience. I did not think about it but also lesbians who expecting a baby and both would like to breast feed are using this set up.
I will let you all know how it goes, I am very excited (mostly because it is on Tuesday and breaks my week as we are departing on Friday) to see what it is! Hopefully I will make some nice contacts,. I have to bring a plate, so I will make some effort and I will be liked. LOL.
I am beyond excitement to go to see Jackie, Dylan, Amy and our babies! ONLY 7 DAYS TO GO.....THE PARENTS ARE ON THEIR WAY!
13 weeks tomorrow, and I spoke with Jackie yesterday for an hour. Well, that means I spoke a lot and asked questions. It is so hard to keep my energy and enthusiasm on a low level, and why should I anyway? We are going to be parents! Michael and I are also getting married on the 26th of April. Our family is staying with us in our house. I am excited to get married but I cannot wait for it to be done and over with so I can start the nursery room. LOL. We still need the room for our family but I cannot wait to create the room.
After telling our friends and family, the gossip seems to reach general people we know and it has been great. Everybody is so happy for us. However, some people take long to respond back and I guess they just have to think about it, which is fine.
My baby wardrobe is growing fast and the grandmother’s packages come in weekly. I just hope that I have the right sizes. For this coming week my mission is to educate myself regarding nappies (diapers). Should I go for disposable or reusable? Has anybody got some good tips on this?
Two weeks have past and I have chosen a theme for the baby room. Peter Rabbit, as we do not know the gender of our babies therefore I will keep it plain. That means I am going to paint one wall light yellow and the rest stays white. I bought these o' so cute cot music mobiles of Peter Rabbit. A chair with blue, white and silver cover with on the side a Peter Rabbit toy on wheels.
We could find out the genders in a couple of weeks but still deciding if we want to share this with everybody. I personally would really like to know, as that would help me bond with the babies. However, I do like the fact that I know and nobody else does. I would like it to be a surprise for them, like the old days (but not for me). I know that is selfish but It makes me feel closer to the babies I guess. However, Jackie knows already one of the babies gender.....but she is going to keep it a secret for us. I am happy for that because I would like to see it with my own eyes. When I told Mike that Jackie knows one babies gender, he is convinced it is a boy!
As all parents we do not care about their sex, as long as they are healthy. Speaking with Jackie today (who had another scan on Tuesday, 15 weeks pregnant) makes me feel really relaxed. I am so happy my babies are safe and warm in her tum tum. She is so lovely and concerned about the babies. When she told me the heartbeats are going strong, I just feel like crying of happiness.
Jackie has still been a bit sick, but this will stop soon as we past the 15 weeks. Also because I am going to create a tape with songs and Dutch talk for the babies. I did check with Jackie because I would not like to drive her crazy with this tape. She reassured me that she will put the headset on her belly so only the babies will hear this.
Hi Everyone,
It has been a very interesting three months as Michael and I have now realized we are becoming parents. And we are so excited. The first couple of days when we got the good news (via Jackie which was great) Michael and me could only walk around going 'PAPA - 'MAMA'. We both had not much to say, just smiling and those two words was enough to keep us going. Our friends and family must have thought we are a very weird couple.LOL.
It is a little bit strange because the last six months we only have been focusing on, blood-test, contracts, medication, flights, date's that you almost forget what the outcome will be. We were also (at least I was) preparing myself for the fact that something could go wrong, such as the eggs would not be a good quality, not enough embryos, the embryos did not nestle in Jackie womb (that would have been very rare as even I nestled close to her after the egg transfer). Jackie just has this fantastic glow about her, very familiar to me.
So after the first 8 weeks: more pregnant worries, will the babies be healthy? What if, What if..blah blah. It was nice that Amy always told me that worrying is normal and it will not get less, it will only change the type of worry when kids grow older.
However when Jackie got really ill, I was feeling a bit worried and not completely myself because there was nothing I could do to make her feel better and she is doing the hard work for me. It really made me realize that I definitely made the right choice about not carrying babies myself. Pregnancy is not a simple and easy thing. Jackie is a strong healthy woman in all matters and she has been really sick. I think the twins look like Mike and I already, strong minded and energetic, they have not left Jackie alone for a minute. She is doing great and we are so happy!
It is a delight telling people that we are pregnant. When I told the Grandmother of Mike she said: wow I will have a grandchild! When I said, well you will have two, we are expecting twins. I am still deaf on one side as she screamed her lungs out. That was such an enjoyable moment for us. My mom told all my Aunties and Uncles on the New Years Reception and recorded the announcement with a camcorder!! When Mike told his mom she thought he was joking regarding having twins and Michael had to say, ' I am not calling you on Christmas Day to tell you a joke' She was saying afterwards she needed a drink (she never drinks). It was a real good time and these moments make you strong for the comments who are not so sophisticated and comments you prefer not to hear. Such as: But how do you know they are yours? Maybe they swapped stuff around in the lab? What if your surrogate does not give your babies to you?...We heard these comments, and it gives me goose bumps. Michael seems to deal with them very easy and he helps me (again) dealing with that with less tress and he helps me to understand that some people just do not know much about surrogacy these days because the media only publishes the negative stories of the old days and that is a shame. Because all the moms who now are surrogates deserve a compliment. It is a fantastic thing to do! I am the lucky one, I have a prince on a white horse and a lovely surrogate called 'Jackie'
So how is our pregnancy going, very good, we are 12 weeks and 2 days today! Jackie is only sick once a day but still very tired. However we are again all excited because our 'big scan' will be on the 20th of February and Michael and me are 'coming to America’!!
Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on in my life as a surrogate. I have a new couple. They are from Australia. They are THE sweetest couple I have ever met. The Intended Mother and I talk by email almost every day. We have been able to form a very good relationship. I feel like we can talk about absolutely everything. She is almost like a sister in a way.
Well, we had our embryo transfer on October 28th. We were lucky enough to get 3 beautiful embryos and we transferred them all. I was on bed rest for about 3 days and I have just been taking it easy since then. While I was in the hotel I felt a lot of cramping. I even felt nauseous on the car ride home. Since I have been home, the cramping got a whole lot worse and then stopped. I have heard that this is a good sign. It could be a sign of implantation. So I haven't really been concerned. I have also experienced a lot of nausea on a daily basis. All of these are good signs of pregnancy. I am just unable to be excited since my last attempt at surrogacy ended in a negative pregnancy test. I am being cautiously optimistic at this point.
My blood test is scheduled for November 10th. It has been a long wait. I am really trying not to use a urine test (like I have with EVERY other pregnancy). So we will just have to continue waiting for our results. So everyone, please think positive thoughts! We are hoping for a singleton or twins. I will keep you all updated as we go.
Well, it has been a long two weeks since our embryo transfer and we finally made it! Actually I cheated; I did 3 home pregnancy tests (which all came back positive by the way). My Intended Parents didn’t want me to tell them though. So, Monday morning I had a blood test. I got the call later that day. We are pregnant and our beta number is 500! I have never had a number that high before. I have a feeling that this is a twin pregnancy. The hard part is, now we have to wait a full week before the next blood test and at least 2 weeks for the ultrasound. Then we will know exactly what is going on. Hopefully the next 2 weeks won’t take so long this time!