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Uncle T


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Our Baby Boy Sleeping


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Aunt Melissa


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Mommy and Carter


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Skylar waiting on Mommy and Daddy to play with him.


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Papa's first look at Carter


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Sweet Baby Boy


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Totally in love


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Look at my boy lookin' up at me.


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So tiny but so brave.


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Carters first photo with Mom and Dad


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My little old man


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Mommy changing the diaper.


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He looks like he is saying MOM!!!!


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Finally all done


NICU 4 (59).JPG
Sucking on a pacifier soooo good.  Even holding it in himself.

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Carter Daniel 4

Carter's Eating

Carter Daniel 3

Sweet Moments with Carter

Carter Daniel 2

Another Day with Carter

Carter

NICU September 14th 2008! One month old.

WOW!  Has it been a year already?  Today my heart is pulled 2 ways.  I am so thankful that God has blessed us so immensely with Carter.  But I can't ever forget the struggle that we went through. 

Today 1 year ago I was induced and delivered a little tiny baby boy.  Our lives were forever changed by that experience.  I look at pictures and cannot believe that, that is us in the pictures.  It is EVERY mom's worst nightmare.  To look at him then and to look at me, not knowing what the next day would hold.  The struggle of 2 babies in different cities.  I look at my face and deep into my eyes and know that I was so scared.  To know what I was feeling and thinking, you would never know the full details...I was on the verge of drifting far off into a dark area.  We will never know the struggle he went through either.  I still morn those times.  How do you ever actually get through that even when it is a year passed. 

I will never forget the struggle but I will also never forget the blessing.  God answered prayers all over the world.  Carters name is know all over.  His life has already been so meaningful.  He continues to bless us everyday with his beautiful smile and loving eyes.

Carter is doing great.  He is currently getting physical therapy once a week to help him with his developmental issues.  The therapist said that he is more like a 6 month old developmentally right now.  He is barely rolling over and not sitting up on his own yet.  So he is not crawling or walking.  He is babbling, not saying words but talking baby.  He knows his name and has 2 teeth coming in.  He has a few issues with his bowels and has to be assisted in going #2.  The scar from his surgery has healed nicely.  Other than that he is this NOT sleeping through the night yet.  But we are praying for that to change soon.

We could never thank you all enough for your prayers, love, and support!  Carter is a blessing!
Born August 14th 2008 @ 10:37PM He was 2lbs 2 1/2oz and 18" long.
August 14th 2009 Carter is 17lbs

Happy Birthday my baby boy.  Mommy loves you so much.  You have changed my in so many ways.  I will never forget what you have done.  The struggle that I went through that made me so strong for you and made me stand in faith like I had never done before.  You challenged me to let go and let God.  You showed me the power of God...so tiny, so scarry, so sweet, so hard, so strong!  You have been through a lifetime of pain and suffering and that is hard for me but I know that God has you here for so many reasons.  You are strong, you are beautiful, you are amazing.  I love you little man.  Mommies little sweet baby boy, baby boy, baby boy.  Mommies little sweet baby boy..is home SAFE in mommies arms.
I love you.

For updated pictures click on our names below.
John & Crystal

 

Tuesday February 10th we will be headed to Orlando Fl> Arnold Palmer Hospital for Carters Surgery.  He has tethered spine syndrome and they are going to remove the fat/mass that is tethered to the spine.  Our expected stay is 3 to 5 days.  We will keep you posted as best we can.  This is going to be a long hard week for us.  Please keep us in your prayers.

We have had our hands full and no time to do anything!  But I did want to give a quick update...Carter is at Arnold Palmer Hospital.  He had an MRI done today that required anesthesia. Because of his age and size, they required at least a 23 hours stay over.  But he is doing wonderful and we should be headed home tomorrow.

How wonderful is our God.  We are so blessed and have just enjoyed every minute with Carter.  It is strange to have him here at times because it is so easy to be apart of his life now.  He is doing so good.  He eats about every 4 to 5 hours and sleeps the rest of the time unless we just want to keep him up.  It is so important to let him sleep as much as he can so that he can grow.  Eating and sleeping are the most important things he does.  He sleeps in a Co-sleeper right next to our bed.  At night I open my eyes and see pure beauty.  His little noises are music to my ears.  I fall deeper and deeper in love with him at every glance.  John and I are learning everyday new things about Carter and how to live life with Carter and Skylar. 
Skylar LOVES Carter.  Every time he see's him, he smiles so big and waves at him.  He is getting so big so fast!  He will be walking any day now.  It is so hard to believe that November 7th he'll be 1!  Life flies by. 
We are cherishing every minute with our boys.  Life is so wonderful!  We have our hands full and we are sooooo tired but we wouldn't change a thing!
Thank you God.

2285 Grams Today!!  CARTER'S COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Praise God!  We are on the way to Orlando now to go get him!  Pray for safe travel and a peaceful trip for Carter.  Praise to our God who has given me strength when I thought all was gone, who has blessed our family with another beautiful boy.  Who has never left our side, even in the darkest moments.  Thank you God!  We give you all the honor and ALL the PRAISE for you have given me today, the day that I have waited so long for.  Carter's coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2165 Grams Friday!!
2191 Grams Saturday!!
2210 Grams Today!!
Sorry I haven’t written in a while.  I have been a busy bee getting ready
for Carter to come home!  He should be coming home on TOMORROW!  I
am trying so hard not to be too excited but I can’t help it.  I woke up this
morning @ 6 and couldn’t go back to sleep!  All I could think about was
Carter and that tonight may be the last night I will go to sleep without my
boy!  How life will is about to change!  I can’t wait.  
We had such a good visit this week.  We got in late Thursday night just in
time for a feeding.  He did awesome!  It was his best feeding with us yet. 
I was so proud of him.  He had his ultra sound Friday on the spot on his
back and we found out that he has very very rare syndrome called
“Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome”.  

*******************************************************************************************
What is Tethered Spinal Cord Syndrome?
Tethered spinal cord syndrome is a neurological disorder caused by tissue
attachments that limit the movement of the spinal cord within the spinal
column.  These attachments cause an abnormal stretching of the spinal
cord.  The course of the disorder is progressive.  In children, symptoms
may include lesions, hairy patches, dimples, or fatty tumors on the lower
back; foot and spinal deformities; weakness in the legs; low back pain;
scoliosis; and incontinence.  Tethered spinal cord syndrome may go
undiagnosed until adulthood, when sensory and motor problems and loss
of bowel and bladder control emerge.  This delayed presentation of
symptoms is related to the degree of strain placed on the spinal cord over
time. Tethered spinal cord syndrome appears to be the result of improper
growth of the neural tube during fetal development, and is closely linked to
spina bifida. Tethering may also develop after spinal cord injury and scar
tissue can block the flow of fluids around the spinal cord.  Fluid pressure
may cause cysts to form in the spinal cord, a condition called syringomyelia. 
This can lead to additional loss of movement, feeling or the onset of pain
or autonomic symptoms.

Is there any treatment?
In children, early surgery is recommended to prevent further neurological
deterioration.  If surgery is not advisable, spinal cord nerve roots may be
cut to relieve pain.  In adults, surgery to free (detether) the spinal cord
can reduce the size and further development of cysts in the cord and may
restore some function or alleviate other symptoms.  Other treatment is
symptomatic and supportive.

What is the prognosis?
With treatment, individuals with tethered spinal cord syndrome have a
normal life expectancy.  However, some neurological and motor impairments
may not be fully correctable.  
*******************************************************************************************
Carter has another ultrasound scheduled in 6 weeks and then he’ll have
surgery before he is 6 months old.  So since he is already 2 months old
on Tuesday it will be within 4 months.  I am surprisingly okay with all of this. 
I feel like we have just been through so much that if this was the only thing
that we had to go through it would be upsetting but in a few months when
all this has passed it will be hard for my little boy to have to go through surgery.  

Well we are waiting for the phone call tomorrow.  It is like Christmas eve!  I am
so EXCITED to open my present tomorrow.  I have no idea how I supposed to
sleep tonight!  I will be posting less and less as my hands will be full but I will
post as soon as I can "the come home" pictures and information and let you
know for sure when he comes home.

2153 Grams today! Still 4lbs 11oz...but almost 12oz.  He had his MRI today and the exact words were "the ventricles on both side have decreased considerably"!  PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD.  Small amount left that will go away with time.  Dr Perez said that the spot on his back that looks more like a birth mark seems to be getting larger to him, he is going to order an ultra sound (tomorrow) just to make sure that it's not anything before he goes home!  (He said the words "goes home", like it is just around the corner)  I am trying not to get my hopes up but I can't help it!!  They are up and up high!!  Dr said if Carter does good on his feedings over the weekend, he thinks Monday will be the day.  So we have a possible go home date for the first time!!!  Pray that Carter continues to good on his new feeding schedule!  He has been doing wonderful since they changed it.  He pulled his feeding tube out last night and they haven't put it back in yet!  I pray that they don't have too.  We've never seen him without the feeding tube in.  So I can't wait to get there tonight so I can see my baby boy with no tubes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    Praise God that the end is near. 

 2136 Grams, 4lbs 11oz!!  Big Boy!  Skylar came home at 5lbs 1oz.  So maybe Carter will do the same!  Spoke to Dr Perez today.  He changed Carter to adlib feeding, where Carter tells him that he's hungry!  I am so glad!  I feel that this is going to really make a difference.  They will only feed him when he acts like he is hungry and awake.  But they won't let him go longer than 4 hours.  If he feeds within 3 hours he only has to eat 35 to 40 ml but if he waits the 4 hours, he has to eat 45 to 50.  So I am very excited to see how the day and night goes with this new feeding schedule.  MRI is going to be tomorrow or Friday.  Dr Perez feels like Carter will get it with the new feeding and it could be 2 days from now up to a week.  I'm not getting my hopes up any more.  I am to depressed to even think that he's coming home ever!!!!!  But deep down inside I am screaming!!!  I want him home soooooooooooooooo bad.  I'm done!

 2075 Grams, he only gained 2 grams! Still 4 - 9.  He isn't doing so good on his nippleing today.  The nurses are so different.  Every time the nurses change it is so upsetting b/c they want to tell me how to do things and it is so different than the last nurse.  I am getting so discouraged.  I can't do this any more!  I gather just enough strength so to hope for a week then it seems like we have to wait another week, then another week, then another week!  I'm TIRED OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A week from today Carter will be 2 months old!

2073 Grams!  He gained 42 grams and is now a whopping 4lbs 9oz.  We are out of the scary zone with his weight.  If I were to deliver a baby today that was only 4lb 9oz, I would freak out.  But going through this I am not scared one bit.  I went from shaking all over when I reached in to touch him, grabbing him up without hesitation.  I even gave him a bath for the first time last night.  I did have help from the nurse, my request, being that I had never gotten to do it before, I was unsure how "they" do it.  But what great fun.  He is such a good baby.  Everyone that said I could never have another baby as good as Skylar, I think you may be wrong.  The only time that Carter is really fussy is when you mess with him.  Even during his bath, he only cried a second when they first put him in the water.  The nurses tell me all the time that he is so good.  I love it. 
Last night when we arrived the nurse told us that he did great for all of his day feedings, we feed him his 5th feeding and the next feeding he ate 10ml out off the 40 he's supose to eat.  So she fed the rest down the tube.  The next feeding was all tube, she wanted to give him a break and the last feeding he nippled and ate it all!  So out of the 8 feedings he gets in a 24 hour period he did 6 with the nipple!  As of today he has had nothing but nipple again so I pray that he can finish all his feedings on bottle through out the night!   I drive the nurses crazy, I now call after every feeding to see how it went.  I am on top of things, this is the only thing that is keeping my boy from coming home.  I feel it, it is soon, sooner than ever before.  As long as he stays on the same track and doesn't back track, I am still praying and believing that he comes home this week!

 2031 Grams!  He gained 45 grams and weighs 4lbs and 7oz.  He is going to be triple his weight by the time he comes home!  I got a chance to talk to the doctor last night.  He said that he was going to up Carters feedings to feed at the nurses discretion, meaning if he is awake and ready to feed, then she will feed him, if he seems tired and doesn't act like he wants to feed then she just feed him through the tube!  I just got off the phone with the day nurse and she said that she has bottle fed him for the all of his feeds so far and he has done wonderful.  She will continue trying to nipple him all day.  I am soooo glad to hear that!  I think a day or 2 of just nippleing they will remove the feeding tube, after they remove the feeding tube, they will do the car seat test (90 mins in the car seat with all the monitors on, to make sure that he is okay and can handle riding in the car seat).  Then I think it will be any day after that, that we'll get the call to come and pick him up!  I know that it is soon.  I am ready!  I think........  Dr Perez also scheduled an MRI for the blood in the brain.  He want to just insure that the blood is decreasing and there is no increase.  Be praying for continued decreasing.  I can't handle any more surprises right now.

1986 grams!  He gained 9 grams!  Not a lot but it's a gain.  He is going great today!  As of right now he has completed 2 of his bottle feedings and I just talked to the nurse and she was going to nipple him right now.  I will call in about 45 mins to find out how he did!  But I know it's going to be good.  Dr Perez is back from vacation and I was going to go to Orlando to talk to him tonight but I decided to wait till tomorrow so that John and I can go together.  I did request that Dr Perez call me tonight so that we could talk about the babies progress.  It has been over a week since I have gotten a Dr's update on the baby.  I am feeling that they will up his feedings and now that Dr Perez is back I pray that Carter will be home this time next week.  

1977 Grams!  He gained 46 grams!  He is 4lbs 5oz!  He was taken off the pulse oximeter!  PRAISE GOD!  He is doing so good!  Feedings are getting better but they are not great.  He is still on 3 bottle feedings a day and yesterday 1st feeding took the entire bottle, 2nd feeding took 15ml, and the 3rd feeding he took 25ml.  He is up to 39ml per feeding currently.  So as soon as he can finish each bottle, they will move him up to more bottle feedings.  I am so anxious to talk to the doctor on Saturday night (when he gets back from vacation).  I know now that it really isn't up to him anymore as to when Carter can come home, it is up to Carter.  But b/c he deals with this everyday, he can give me as least and idea on a come home date, even if Carter has something else in mind.  I just pray that it is soon. 

 1931 GRAMS!!  He gained 31 grams!  Praise God.  He is doing so good.  I talk to his night nurse and found out that Tuesday Night after we left he continued to have more and more desats.  The nurse was very concerned b/c his color was fine and his heart rate was fine but his oxygen level continued to dropped.  She changed his position several times and did everything she knew to do.  Then she changed his pulse oximeter that measure the oxygen level and after that, every thing was FINE!!!  The whole time it was the oximeter!!!  NOT CARTER!!  Praise God.  I was so happy to hear that!  We are back on track!!  Carter is feeding wonderfully!  He just needed a pep talk from his mommy.  I told him that if he ate through the bottle good that he could come home and he said he'd do it.  So join with me in prayer and in faith that our boy comes home next week.  I'm not going to put a date on it.  I just pray that it will be next week sometime. 

 1895 grams!  He lost 9 grams today :(  We spent the entire day with our boy today.  I had hoped about a week ago that he'd be coming home with us today.  So it was hard to leave.  But today was so much better!  The nurse said that he hadn't had any desats for her yet this morning and that he was doing good.  We got to nipple him his 3:00 feeding and he did GREAT!!!  I was so happy!  No desats and he ate so good.  It was the best that we'd seen him eat.  We are so proud of our boy.  So precious moments we get to sit there with him.  He is changing so much and most of you have never seen him in person.  I was so glad that he did good today b/c I don't think that I could have handled it if he'd had another bad day. 
When things like that happen right in front of you it is overwhelming to see.  It makes me so scared and I don't know what to do and I feel like somehow it is b/c of me.  Like being there, hearing our voice, holding him, maybe overstimulating to him and he starts desating.  It really makes you push him away.  It is so much easier to hear over the phone that he had a really bad desat or feed or what ever.  But to stand there and watch it.........as a mom you want to fix it and take it away, but you can't you are helpless and hurting! 
But Praise God!!!!  Praise God!!  Even though he is going through this right now....there so many more things that could be SOOOO much worse!  So Thank You God, and I Praise You for such a beautiful son and for such prescious moments you allow me to have with him!   It is through your grace that he even where he is now. 

 1904 Grams!  He only gained 17 grams!  Tonight was a hard night!  We arrived in Orlando just in time to feed him.  But he didn't do that good.  He LOOKS SOOO GOOD!   He has gained so much weight and looks like a different baby!  Double chin and all.  We attempted to feed him and he only took 15ml.  About half of his feeding.  We had to stop b/c he was having continuous desats!  It was hard to see and even after we changed him to the feeding tube he still wasn't doing well.  We had to put him back in the bed and let him rest, as we watched our baby in the bed, his oxygen levels stayed low and were not going back up.  I was freaking out.  The nurse right by his side trying to get him to take a breath to get the oxygen level back up.  Slowly but surely they went back up.  I was so scared and very sad.  He has taken so many steps back and I am trying so hard to be strong and it was getting easier b/c I just knew that he'd be coming home very soon.  Now it looks like it is going to be another week or two before there is even talk of him coming home.  My heart is broken and I left in complete tears!  I am so tired of all of this!!  Waiting, missing, hoping, driving, walking, talking, everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WHEN DOES IT END!!!  I WANT MY BOY!!!!!  HOME!!!

1888 Grams, Only gained 17 grams last night.  But he did finish a bottle last night and on the second bottle he ate 20 ml, he gets around 30 to 35 per feeding right now.  Day nurse said that she has not tried to nipple him yet today but she will for one feeding with him.  He had 2 desats for the night nurse but so far this morning, none for the day nurse.  Praise God!   It is what they call the preemie dance....one step forward, two steps back.  But Carter has taken so many steps forward, this really is his first step back. 
I am glad that if he needs a break and needs to step back a few steps that he does it while he is still under the best care vs being home and scaring us to death.  Even though it is getting harder and harder, I say it a lot latley but I haven't allowed myself to put a date on when he is coming home or to get my hopes up all this time.  Now that my hopes are up, I have allowed disapointment to rush in and I am truley missing him more than ever before.  I know that it will be soon, but the days just seem as if they are taking for ever to pass.  Time takes so long when you want something so soon and then passes so fast when you need more of it.  In Gods time Carter will be home.  

1871 Grams!  He gained 52 grams.  Carter has been doing so good but today we found out that he has taken a few steps back.  He started Desating again.  He has had several desats and they were very concerned, they did some blood work to make sure there was no infection and all results were good.  They put him back on the the oxygen monitor that tells them when he has a desat and he isn't nippling very good.  Nurse said that they think that maybe they are pushing him to nipple too hard so the pulled back on the nippling and he only nipples 3 times in a 24 hour period now.  When she tried to nipple him earlier today, he didn't even eat half. 
I am very sad to hear the news but I know that God is still in control and I have to trust him.  When God is ready to give Carter back to us, we will be ready.  

1819 Grams!!  He is now 4lbs!!!  He gained 22 grams last night!  I am so proud of my boy! 

He is...
4lbs > Check
Holding his own temperature > Check
No Desats > Check
And he is almost feeding by nipple 100%.  I know that he'll get it within a few days! 

My prediction and pray is that he comes home on next Monday.  We are going on Wednesday to see him again and I hope that will be the last time that we have to leave him!  

1797 grams!  He gained 41 grams!  He is doing so good and looks wonderful!  He is just grams away from 4lbs!!  It is getting harder and harder to leave him knowing that any day he'll be coming home!  The Dr is going out of town for the week and said that he will not release Carter until he gets back.  He'll be back on Saturday, so the baby could come home Sunday/Monday depending on how good he is doing.  I know that Carter will be more than ready to come home.  I pray that it will be no later than Monday.  God has been so good to us.  I know that every thing happens for a reason and God has us in this place for a reason, and for this time period.   Even though I may not understand that reason now, I know that God will reveal it to me within time.  I just pray that God will give me the strength to make it a few more days.  And the strength to handle 2 babies under 1 when Carter comes home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAYAYAY!!!!! =)

1756 grams today!  He gained 24 grams!  Doing great today!  Nurse said that he nippled (fed with the bottle) so much better for the night nurse!  Every other feeding for her and ate the entire bottle!  I am sooooo happy.  Day nurse hasn't tried to nipple him yet today but she said she will next feeding!  They say once he gets it, then he has it, so I am interested to know how he does on his next nipple feeding!  She said that his eye is looking so much better and he is doing so good!  Can't wait to see him.  We are headed over tonight, as soon as John gets off work! 

1732 grams!  27 grams gained!  He's not doing too good on feedings yet but everything else is good!  We are waiting for him to wake up and eat.  They say that he gets tired and just doesn't want to feed.  But that is okay!  He has done everything else early, we can't expect him to do it all early.  As soon as they say that he is feeding good we will be within days of having him home.  Please pray that he'll feed good over the next few days.
 

1703 Grams!  he gained 37 grams!  Carter is doing wonderful!  We had such a great visit with him!  When we got there he was in his open crib and he was wearing an outfit that we bought him!  It was so cute on him!  He just looked great!  I just knew that when I saw him he was going to come home soon!  The access that we have to him is just wonderful.  We no longer have to ask if we can pick him up or hold him.  We just do it.  We can change his diaper, change his outfit, lean in an touch him, kiss him, what ever!  It is so great!!

The best news of all is that the Doctor said that he should be home within 1 to 2 weeks!  I cannot believe that we are going to have a baby in less than 2 weeks!  He said that all he needs Carter to do is eat on his own 100%.  He said that once he gets it, then he is out of here!!  It could be as early as 5 days!!  It is up to Carter!  I am so excited!  We really feel like it will be a week and he will be home.  I fed him a bottle today before we left and he did great!  He ate every drop and seemed to want more!  God has blessed us so much, I can't wait to get the call and/or hear those words, "he's coming home".  When the Dr told us I started crying!  It was so good to hear that 2 weeks would be the maximum wait!  Pray and believe with us that Carter will do good on his feedings and be  home VERY soon!
 

1666 Grams!  50 grams gained!  He is almost 3lbs and 11oz!  Nurse said everything is wonderful!  No Desats!  Fed 3 times with the bottle yesterday!  Did very well every time!  Having a little drainage in his eyes but they are just going to put drops in his eyes and it will clear up, we pray!  Holding temperature wonderfully!  We are headed out now to go see him!  Can't wait!

1616 grams today!  Only gained 14 grams.  But no desats and still holding his temperature good.  He is still on 2 to 3 bottle feedings a day and doing pretty good with them.  We are going tomorrow to see him again!  I can't wait.  The sore on his bottom is looking more like a birth mark.  No one has ever seen anything like if before and at first they thought it was a birth mark.  But other than that, nothing else to report!  He is on his way!!! 
We went to church today for the first time since all of this started.  It was so good to see everyone but at the same time, it was very hard for me.  I haven't done much of anything since Carter was born.  Our life is pretty much consumed by this, but I didn't want to continue life myself without Carter and to me going back to church was continuing on and it's without him here!  It's just another step I had to get past to start the my own healing.  We were welcomed with open arms, lots of hugs, and so much love.  Our church family has been so wonderful.  You can really feel the love when someone wraps their arms around you and holds you tight.

1602!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He is growing like a weed!  He gained 62 grams!  I am so proud of him!  He is jumping of oz left and right!  Now he is 3lbs 8oz, very, very close to 9oz!  He loves it when his mommy and daddy come to visit!  His nurse said that he WILL be moved to a crib today!  He is holding his temperature wonderfully!! 

Coming home check list!
Holds His temperature - Check!
Feeding on his own - @ 2 to 3 bottle feedings per day and doing great! 
No Desats - Doing better everyday!
1800 grams -  198 grams to go!!!

Praise God for today!

****posting pictures later today and maybe another video*****

1540 Grams!!  He gained 51 GRAMS last night!!  Doing so good.  He is 3lbs 6oz.  We JUST got back from Orlando!  We had such a nice visit today!  Spoke with Dr Perez and they are going to try to get him into an open bed now that he is over 1500 grams!  Supper excited about that and the discontinued the caffeine as well!  We pray that he'll continue to have less and less desats so they don't have to put him back on the caffeine.  Dr also talked about the ultra sound, he gave me a copy of the results.  It states that on the last exam the vertricals where 1cm on the right and 1.1 cm on the left and today's results show 8mm on the right and 9mm on the left!  So he continues to decrease.  The Dr feels so good about it that he said that he was going to wait and do the next ultra sound in 2 weeks rather than weekly!  Said since everything is looking so good, there is no need to do it weekly. 
John fed Carter today!  He did such a great job and for the very first time, he changed a diaper!  It is so overwhelming and difficult to change a diaper on a baby that is so small and thru an incubator!  But he did it and did a great job!
Every time we see him he looks better and better!  I am so proud of Carter for being so strong and really fighting through all of this.  I can't help to feel completely responsible for him having to go through all of this!  Although I know it's not my fault, there is a lot of guilt that I feel!  If I could have held onto him for a little longer, maybe he wouldn't have had to fight so hard and deal with all of this.  I couldn't imagine what he must be thinking/going through.  Being born is scary enough, you are in the most comfy little place, all warm and cozy.  He pops out and is pricked and poked at, then the only voices he knows are no longer there.  He is taken away and is all alone over there and everyday there are new people messing with him.  Then only ever 2 or 3 days does he hear a voice that he recognizes and then it's gone.  I feel for my little boy!  God please be with my boy tonight.  Touch his little nose with yours and breathe deep into his face with love and life.  Keep him close to you so that he can hear your heartbeat and smell your sweet breath.  Tell him we love him and sing him a song.  Even though I can't be with him every moment, you are a Daddy that never leaves us!  Thank you God for holding me tight every night!  I love you!  Amen.  Goodnight.

 1489 Grams!   He gained 12 grams.  Still at 3lbs 4oz.  His nurse said that he is doing good.  He had a few Desats today but they still expect that.  Said that his bottle feedings are going good.  Today he is 5 weeks old.  How does life continue to happen around me and I have no baby in my arms.  Today I am sad, and I miss him dearly.  It is easy for all of you to look and say "well he is doing so well, don't worry, he'll be home soon."  But to walk in my shoes for one day....I miss him terribly and long for the days when I can hold him in my arms at home.  There are no words to describe what I am going through.

1477 Grams!  He gained 20 grams!  He's 3lbs and 4oz!  The nurse said that he is doing just wonderful.  He is feeding so good that they are going to up his bottle feeding today to 2 bottle feedings a day.  Just a few more grams and they'll move him to an open bed!  He had his eye exam today, Dr Perez said that it looked great!  Not even a 1 he said, his eyes are just immature just like he is!  John and I are going over on Friday for the day!  I pray that when we get there I will find him in an open bed!  I am so excited!  They also changed him over to "Room Air" in his incubator to get him ready to start holding his own temperature!  Room Air stays the same vs he's on "Controlled Air" right now and based on his temp the incubator will warm up or cool down.

Working on the 1800 grams!
Working on the bottle feeding!
About to switch to open bed were he'll have to hold his own temp!
About to be taken off caffeine so that will test him on his apnea spells!

We are closer every day to getting him home!  It's like a due date when your pregnant!  You don't know exactly when it will be but we know it is getting closer!

1457 Grams!  He only gained 11 grams!  But he didn't loose!  He is doing great.  The small spot on his back is looking more like a birth mark/stork bite!  I haven't gotten a chance to talk to Dr. Perez yet!  Still waiting, maybe I'll get a call today!

Upcoming events!
Wednesday - eye exam
Friday - Head Ultra Sound
1500 Grams - moved to an open bed and removed off of caffeine.

 1446 Grams!  He gained 26 grams!  That makes him 3lbs 3 oz!  He is moving right along!  

Yesterday was a long bittersweet day for me.  John and I came over on Saturday when John got off and then Sunday he had to be back at work and he left me in Orlando all by myself, once he got off he drove back!!  A long commute!  But all worth it!  Today he was off and we came home tonight so that we could sleep in our own bed.  But anyway I was in Orlando all by myself and I got to spend the entire day with Carter!  When I got there I told the nurse that I was going to be there all day, so whatever I could do to be more involved with his care, let me know and I'll do it!  So I changed almost every diaper, took his temp, held him more than I ever had before in one day.  (Every time before it was only one hold per day either me or John, one parent and only for an hour or so)  But I got to hold him 3 separate times.  I feed him a bottle for the first time for me and he didn't do that well for mommy.  It is very scary and nerve racking to feed him.  Like I said the other day for John, you have to sit him straight up and then you can only let him suck 3 to 5 times then you have to take the bottle away and let him breathe.  He doesn't know how to suck, swallow, and breathe all together.  So you have to make him do it.  Then if he doesn't suck and the bottle is in his mouth, you can't leave it too long b/c the bottle is still dripping liquid in his mouth.  So it's not the same as it is with a normal baby.  I tried to keep myself busy throughout the day so that I didn't start to get depressed.  Any time I felt the emotions coming, I’d grap a book and start reading or call someone, or text John.  I just can't be alone for too long or it will just overwhelm me.  What a wonderful day I got to spend with Carter.  

Thank God for friends and family that cares enough to take Skylar for us.  It is so hard for us to leave him but we had to, in order to maximize our time with Carter.

Today was great!  We each got to hold him today and he is just looking beautiful!  I'll post picts tomorrow.  Before he is able to leave the hospital, we have to take a CPR/Car Seat Class.  We did that tonight, it was 2 hours long.  Walking out I felt like we had just completed another step, closer and closer to getting our boy home.  

We are so exhausted!  I want to sleep for 2 days straight!   Poor John has to work tomorrow, but thank God he goes in late!  We just got home, have to unpack, wash cloths, pump, get the baby back to bed, & then we crash!!!   Good Night!

 1420 Grams!  He gained grams 39 today!  3lbs 2oz!  John got to feed the baby a bottle for the first time last night!  It was AWESOME!!  Carted did wonderful!  He ate the entire bottle.  We only had a few problems when it was time to burp him.  Everything is different with preemies.  You have to feed them sitting straight up and they HAVE to burp!  The nurse ended up having to come over and do it b/c we weren't getting anywhere with it.  I can't wait to post pictures.

Praise God in the mist of all of this, God has blessed us again!  John got a promotion at work!!!!!  It's not everyday they promote someone that is constantly missing work!  :) LOL!  John is a good worker and in all of this truly shown how dedicated he is.  He is a strong supporter, phenomenal husband, the best daddy, and he has just been so strong in all of this!  I have no clue how it could handle one minute of all this if he wasn't so strong.  

 1381 Grams!  He gained 35 grams!  He’s 3lbs!  The best news of all is that they gave him a bottle last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am so excited to hear that!  They said he did so well and ate the entire bottle!  This was his first feed by bottle!  We are going to Orlando tonight and I told them to save the next feeding for us!  He gets one bottle a day.  I am so tickled!  He is moving along so quickly.  Even if the Dr tells me a predicted time line of things, he is always doing it sooner.  I love it.

Last night John and I went on a date!  It was so great!  We decided to take a night for ourselves and just focus on each other.  Even though at times it was hard to not think of everything else that was going on, several times at dinner we both looked at each other with tears in our eyes.  It was nice to but hard because when you stop this roller coaster that we are on, we have to deal with our feelings.  We went to a cute little place on the river and there was a guy playing guitar.  He started playing a slow song and tears just started pouring out, we hadn’t even ordered yet.  Although there were moments that were bittersweet.  We had such a good night.  After dinner we headed to the beach and watched the wave’s crash on the sand under the moonlight.  The sound of the ocean was so peaceful and calm.  Stopped at our favorite candy store Kilwins for some desert and walked the streets of Old Time Melbourne.  They had a little street festival going on (2nd Friday) Music and people filled the streets.  For a moment there was no stress, no worries, and no fear, just us!

1346 grams today!  He gained 30 grams last night!  Almost 3lbs!  How wonderful!  He had his 3rd head ultra sound this morning, still waiting on the results.  He had 2 apnea spells last night.  But both were taken care of either by himself or by repositioning him.  They moved his feedings up to 26ml too.  We are going over tomorrow and will talk to the Dr about the ultra sound.

Resident Doctor just called!  DECREASING!  She said that the measurements last week were 1.4 and 1.5 and today they were 1.0 and 1.1!  Not sure what the numbers mean exactly and last week the numbers were in different measurements, but no matter what you can see a decrease in those numbers no matter how you look at it!  Praise God!
 

 

1316 grams!  He gained 47 grams last night!  Almost every other day I call to check on him they tell me the incorrect weight!  I have to check and recheck!  Yesterday they told me that he gained 39 grams & that he was 1305, I called today & they told me that he gained 47 grams, he was 1316.  I said that can't be right.  We go back n' forth until the Nurse realizes where the mistake is.  She said that the nurse yesterday must have mistaken the "g" for a "9" (3g vs. 39)!  That he only gained 3 grams yesterday instead of 39!!!!!   Good thing I keep track of it b/c they are a little whack on reading the charts up there!  

Dr Perez called today.  He said that Carter is doing very good.  He told me that he was going to wait until he was about 34 weeks to take him off the caffeine and to start the bottle feed.  We also found out that even though Carter was born at 28 weeks and 5 days, they don't look at the days, they only look at the weeks.  So they consider him to be 32 weeks old today!  So every Thursday he will a week older gestationally and in real life!  HAPPY 4 WEEKS BABY BOY!!  The Doc also said that when Carter reaches 1500 grams they will move him to an open crib!!  So I feel like that will be in a week or so! 

I can't believed that I gave birth 4 weeks ago!  I went to the Doctor today, he said that he will remove me from even more meds!!  YAYAY!!  One more less thing to do.  I also asked him about the meds to help with the milk supply.  Unfortunately the meds that they prescribe will affect my stomach and with me having Gastric, I am unable to take these meds, they also cause depression, I have enough to be depressed about.  I don’t need something to make it worse.  The other natural meds affect my blood pressure, so I can’t take those either!  Dr said that my gastric could have something to do with my milk supply.  Not sure but until my blood pressure is under control 100%, the Dr wants to me to stay off any other meds.  Postpartum Check up is in 2 weeks! 

 

It was so hard to be in that office waiting room with all those pregnant women!  It breaks my heart.  I feel like I lost my pregnancy.  It is so strange but I feel like it died.  I mourn the loss of it.  I was only 28 weeks, I should have been pregnant so much longer.  I love being pregnant.  It is the only time in life that it's okay to be fat!  I have been overweight all my life and hated it.  I loved this and now it is gone and I still should be pregnant.  It hurts to see others pregnant and I miss it.  I saw a newborn and thought to myself awe how cute!!  Then it hit me, that I have one too....but he's so far away and it's so hard to believe that he is actually mine.  The pain is so unreal.  I can't stop it!!!  It hurts so bad, I just want my boy.  4 weeks of unreal pain, a broken heart, and constant tears.  Even in the happy moments, under it all I am sad and mad!!  John was working late last night and I was home alone (Skylar was asleep) I was watching a cute movie, one of the characters was pregnant and her water broke and everyone jumped up and was so happy, yelling were gonna have a baby!!  I started balling!  It broke my heart.  Such a happy moment and I feel like I was robbed of mine.  I couldn’t believe that I was crying so hard.  While in the hospital I got lots of cards and flowers.  Everything said “Get Well”.  Carter was born and whisked away, I was scared and upset.  There was no celebration, not one thing in my room that said….”Congratulations”, “It’s A Boy”!  Nothing!  When Skylar was born we bought something for our hospital door that said “It’s a Boy”!  We never even thought to get anything for Carter.  It was like it didn’t even happen.  No celebration, no joy, only pain and fear.

1269 Grams!!  3 grams gained!  Nurse said that he is doing good.  Has had a few more short Desats but nothing major.  They have all been quick and in small amounts.  While I was there I spoke to the lactation nurse.  Based on the amount the I am pumping and the amount that I should be, she said that there is a serious concern.  She told me a few things to try and also a medication that I could take that my OB can prescribe me.  I will see him tomorrow and check on that.  But it is so frustrating to be going through all this and have this extra thing.  I am getting so discouraged, when I take my milk to the baby and before I even leave he is out.  I know that one drop of breast milk is better than none, but I want to be able to supply him with a few days and I can't even do that!  Maybe I can get some help tomorrow.

 

1266 Grams!  Gained 32 grams!  That would make him about 2lbs 12.5oz!  He is doing great!  I must tell you all the great news from yesterday!  I finally got to talk to the doctor and get the results of the Head Ultra Sound from him!  He gave me a copy of the report for the first time.  It stated that on the previous exam the right frontal horn measured 16.6mm and the left 15.5mm and on the current exam the right frontal horn measured 13.3 and the left 13.8!!  So that is a definite DECREASE!!  I asked the DR since there is decrease did he foresee that there would be an increase ever?  He said NO!!!  Praise GOD!!!  The answer that I have been waiting to hear!  

We have decided that we love our DR so much and are so pleased with the progress and care that he is getting at Winnie Palmer that we will not move him back to Holmes Regional.  We feel like he is doing so well, why take a chance and change everything. 

Dr Perez said that before he'll release Carter he needs Carter to be able to....

1. Feed on his own (either bottle or breast)

2. Have no episodes of Apnea/Desats

3. Be able to maintain his own temperature

4. Weight has to be 1800 grams (just over 4 pounds)

So you know me, my next question was when do you think that will be?  He said 1 MONTH!!!  YAYAYHAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I was so excited to hear that I might have my boy home in 4 weeks!!!!! 

Within the next week or 2 he'll be going through a lot to get him ready for HOME!!  They said that at about 32 to 33 weeks of gestation (what he would have been in the womb) they'll start his feedings by mouth.  He is currently on caffeine to help him breathe, about 12cc; they will go to 15cc and then stop the caffeine and see how he does with his breathing.  By that time he should be at an age that he can breathe on his own with no problems.  The Dr also said that if he is gaining weight at a good pace and he has met every other requirement but the weight then he'll allow him to go home under the 1800 grams!!  I am tickled pink!  Every Saturday Carter turns another week older in gestation.  So right now he is at 32 weeks of gestation.

I also got to Nuzzle the baby yesterday!  Nuzzle-to put the baby at the breast and allow him to suck while he is being fed thru his feeding tube.  It was wonderful and such a bonding experience!  But I must say, it was the biggest pacifier Carter had ever seen.  I took a few pictures b/c it was the funniest thing ever.  He looked so small or my breast looked so big, either one but it was crazy looking.  Anyway, what a great bonding experience I had with him.  He latched on and started sucking immediately!  The nurse told me not to allow him to suck too much b/c we didn't want him to get anything out of the breast until we know that he knows how to swallow.  I had to pull the breast away several times b/c he was sucking so good.  I was totally hands on today.  After nuzzling, for the first time I put him back in the incubator and changed his diaper, then turned him over back into position.  You have no idea what it is like to do all that in one setting, I felt more like his mom than ever before.  Most of the time it's one or two things here and there but this was full on mom!  I loved it. 

God Blessed me with such a wonderful day yesterday.  John was out with Skylar and I was enjoying all this by myself.  As soon as I was done I ran out to tell him every detail!  I was so giddy and excited, we both broke out in tears b/c it was the first time that we have just felt so good in over 6 weeks now.  I could wait to get home so we could go to bed, so we could start a new day, to get closer to the day when Carter is home.  Thank you GOD for such a great day.

1234 Grams.  Slight decrease in weight but there is great news!  Today I walked into POD 3 and my baby wasn't there!  He got moved to POD 4 today!  Just yesterday I asked the nurse what steps he needed to take to get to POD 4 and she wasn't the DR but she thought that it'd be a while.  I was discouraged a bit thinkin that he is already 3 weeks old and hasn't moved but once.  But as someone I love dearly said to me recently, "Who's report do we believe?  We shall believe the report the report of the Lord." I am off to hold my boy!  We'll post pictures tonight when we get home!

1250 Grams!!!!  66 grams gained!!  All that lovin' daddy gave him yesterday made him feel so good that he thought he'd gain 2 oz!!  No other news as of right now.  I did change a diaper and got to flip him over when I was done.  So funny when you don't think of the little things until you are about to do it and realize that you have never flipped your child over from his back to his stomach.  It really makes every moment with him a big one, cherished forever.

1184 Grams.  He gained 26 grams!  There is so much more we have to prepare ourselves for.  I have not had a chance to speak to the Doctor yet but when we arrived today, I asked the nurse about his Ultra Sound.  She just read me what was noted.  He is still rated a 3 but there has been some improvement since the last ultra sound.  Improvement sounds good, I guess.  I will talk to the Dr on Monday to get the full details and I will let you know.  We are in Orlando today and will be here till Monday.  It is very hard to be here with Skylar, but not to have Skylar with us for 3 days is not an option to us either.   John and I have to take turns in and out the NICU one of us with Carter and one with Skylar.  It is a preview of life for us in the future.  One in each arm.  John got to hold Carter today and I wish I could have seen it.  I love to see my boys together! 

1158 Grams.  He lost 8 grams today!  But that is okay.  He gives a lot and only takes a little away.  He did have his 3rd head ultra sound today but we haven't gotten the results yet.  He hasn't had any Destats today so that is good to hear.  As he gets bigger, stronger, and healthier everyday, we thank GOD for such a beautiful addition to our family.  

1166 GRAMS!!  He gained 60 grams!!  2lbs & 9oz!!  WOW!  Way to go Carter!  The nurse said that he is having Desaturation ("Desats") which is a medical term for too little oxygen in the blood.  He has had a view of these since birth but now it seems that the past 2 days, he has had about 4 each day.  The oxygen level comes down for a short period and then it goes back up.  It is scary to hear.  I am not sure what it all means as a whole.  But I am looking into it and will speak with his DR about it today.  They did increase his caffine intake and the nurse said that it could be a factor as well as the weight gain.  I pray that this isn't anything serious.  There is just so much, you really have to take it day by day and pull yourself together so you can be strong no matter what the outcome.   
Got to go see my boy today!  I must say he's never looked better!  The extra weight on him is beautiful!  It is amazing how a few oz makes such a difference.  I feel so much more comfortable with him.  As I held him in my arms, I actually moved around a little with him and I got to change his diaper again.  Still a little scared in that area but determined.  The spot on his bottom looks sooo much better!  Spoke to the doctor and talked about the Desats and he said not to worry that infants that would still be in the womb wouldn't have to breathe on their own so it is obvious that he may have a few Desats, they expect it.  But they veiw it has a whole and as a whole, Carter looks great.  I love his Doctor, Dr Perez.  Please pray for Dr Perez, as he watches over my baby boy.

1106 grams.  Carter lost 9 grams :(  It has been 3 days since we've seen our baby boy.  It is so hard on me not to be able to walk into his room and pick him up, to look into his eyes all day long and know every move he makes.  His life is happening everyday and we have no part of it.  It is so easy to get depressed.  I am fighting it everyday.  Then Skylar walks up (in his walker) and looks at me with his big smile and how can you resist that beautiful face.  The joy he brings me.  Then I immediately miss Carter.  Back and forth.

1115 today!  Gained 42 grams last night!  2lbs and about 7oz!  He is up to 21ml on his feedings and doing great.  Doctor hasn't been in to see him as of yet today but will update if there is any change.  Me on the other hand, is not doing so well.  Went to my Aunt and Uncles house for a cookout yesterday and felt horrible.  I am getting spinal headaches, a side effect from the epidural, I am fine laying down but as soon as I get up, I have the worst headache imaginable, blurred vision, black spots in my eyes, and dizziness.  I am going to the hospital today to see about getting a blood patch to clot the leak in my spin that causes this.  I pray that it works and I will be better within 24 hours.  That's what it says online anyway :) you can't always believe everything you read online.  I am so tired of feeling so weak, I pray that this works so that I can start getting back to my normal self and focus on the important things rather than having to deal with so much and not feeling good. 
Update on me!!  I went to the Hospital and the Dr said that it was NOT a spinal headache!!!  He feels that it is a side affect from all the medication that I am still on!  He called my Dr, my Dr called me and took me off some of my meds!  I pray this works. 

1073 Grams.  Almost 2lbs and 6oz.   Carter is doing great!  This is our first family holiday and unfortunately we can't be with our boy, John has to work.  But even though I am sad today, I will cherish every holiday to come even more. 
   They say that his spot on his bottom looks better today, so that is good to hear.   Hope everyone has a wonderful day today with your friends and families.

    1060 Grams!!!!!!!  40 grams more than yesterday.  The most he's gained yet.  The baby is doing so good and he looks soooo good.  Growing bigger and stronger everyday. 
    UPDATE ON THE ULTRA SOUND!  The doctor said that there was no change, the blood didn't increase nor decrease.  But the Dr said that the only thing that we didn't want to see was an increase, so I guess it was a good report since there was no increase.  We are still praying and believing that GOD will heal our baby completely and there will be no increase and soon the blood will start to decrease.  It you'd like more information, you can look it up, the official name for this is called an Intraventricular Hemorrhage (IVH).
     We are living a double life right now and it just seems like it is not real.  We drive an hour and a half to see our child that is in an incubator and only get to hold for an hour or two.  We pack our bags and hit the road every chance we get.  We arrive and check into the Ronald McDonald house.  Unload and park the car a block away.  There is no parking at the Ronald McDonald house, so we have to park in the hospital parking garage which is further away from the RMH (Ronald McDonald House) than the hospital.  It is irritating but beggars can't be choosy.  We leave Skylar with which ever family member is there is help us, Skylar can't go into the NICU.  You have to be at least 2 years of age to enter, so Skylar has never even met his little brother yet. :(  We go in and meet his nurse then pull up the blanket covering his incubator and there he is...OUR CHILD.  I get so excited right before we get there.  Wondering what he's going to look like, will I be able to notice any changes in him?  So many questions.  There he is, our sweet little boy, becoming even more beautiful with every glance.  We visit for a few hours then it is off to find food.  Then John drops me and Skylar off at the RMH and John parks the car and runs back to the house.  We are so blessed to be able to stay at the RMH, what a great place!  The people are so great and it just so wonderful to have a place to sleep that is so close to your child.  Then we hit the bed.  Wake up, get ready and it's another day at the hospital.  In for a few hours, food, visit more, let others see him, pump a few times in the middle of all that and then an hour and a half drive back home.  Get home, unload, unpack, wash clothes, bottles, pump, eat, crash!!  Then do it again in a few days.  It is exhausting!  I need 2 days to recover every time we get back.  Just in time to return for another "Quick" visit.  It is very hard on us and Skylar, like I said it is another life that we are living. 

1020 grams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WOW!!  A 33 gram gain from yesterday!  Praise God!  Still no news on the Ultra Sound we hope to hear something today.  Spoke to the Dr yesterday and he stated that as long as the ultra sound results were good and the blood is decreasing in his brain, then he'd still like to see at least 2 more progressing ultra sounds before he's give the clear for the baby to return to Holmes Regional.  So Praise God he has now met the 1000 grams requirement and maybe only 2 weeks till he's back at least in the same town as us.. 

987 grams today.  Almost 2lbs and 3 oz.  Only a 7 gram gain today but we are happy to take any gain.  As long as he isn't loosing.  They did the 2nd ultra sound on his head today to check the status.  I have no word yet but will update as soon as I do.  Please keep us in your prayers today.  We are believing for good news today.  Other than that there is no change.  He is doing good and just continuing to grow.

980 GRAMS Today!!   Back to his birth weight!!  2lbs 2 1/2 oz!!!  We are so excited.  Our boy is doing so good.  No changed on his red spot on his bottom.  Keep praying, the worse thing that could happen is that it becomes an open wound.  He has nothing to fight infection with, so join with me in believing that God is going to heal his little bottom.  They have someone coming in to look at it today and keeping a very close eye on it.  I am missing Carter so much.  It is becoming harder and hard each day without him.  I know that he is in the best place right now, but to call each morning and have to talk to a nurse to find out how OUR son is doing, to not know what he's doing each day now for 2 weeks!    We have a child that is 2 weeks old and barley know him at all. 

963 grams!!!  That is so great to hear!!  He gain 23 grams from yesterday!  Such a big jump.  She did say that because he is so small and skin is so fragile, that he has a red spot on his bottom where his tail bone is.  She said that the skin isn't broken but they are keeping and eye on it and getting him a softer mattress as well they are keeping him on his belly for the most part to keep the "red spot" from getting any worse.  So pray for my boys bum.  I am having trouble with pumping, it seems that I may not be producing enough milk.  I am taking supplements that help you produce more but I am not seeing much of a change.  It is very discouraging and I am becoming exhausted from pumping so much.  They say the more you pump, the better your supply should be so I pump every 2 hours!  Please pray for me that I get an increase soon.

935 grams!  We had such a wonderful day with our son today.   We arrived in Orlando yesterday after lunch and Carter looks so good.  When we lifted his blanket, he was swaddled in a blanket.  The first time that we'd seen him like that.  He looked great.  It was just so good to see him.  Today I got to hold him for a little over an hour!  I am getting so much more comfortable with him.  John and I sat and looked at this amazing little miracle that GOD gave us.  We laid our hands on his head and prayed over him.  I sang him a few songs and just fell totally in love with our boy.  I also got to pick him up for the first time.  Usually we sit down and the nurse hands him to us when we hold him, so I've never actually picked him up.  Well today I also changed his diaper and just like a little boy, as soon as the diaper was off, he peed everywhere!!  It was great, I loved it.  I was still nervous changing his diaper but I am determined that I will not allow my fear to keep me from my boy.  So after I finally got the diaper changed, the nurse told me to lift him up so she could change his padding.  I was so excited.  So much involvement with Carter today.  I think that he knows who we are, when ever we talk to him he opens his eyes as if he's looking to make sure that it's mommy and daddy.  Praise God that he is doing so good.  He was moved to POD 3 which is so much better.  In POD 2 there were about 5 other babies in the room with him, now it is just 1 other baby.  We had the entire room to ourselves it seemed like.  He has gained another 10 grams, now 935 and all reports are good.  Thank you everyone that joined us in the FAST!  We dedicated this entire day to Carter and prayer.  The best part is when John and I laid our hands on his head and agreed with all of you that he would be healed and would grow up to be a strong little boy.  Every time we leave it breaks my heart to leave him behind.  But I know one day soon, he wont be left behind, he'll be in his car seat coming home with us. 

925 grams! We are so excited that we are going to see our little boy today.  We have missed him so much.  The doctor said that he was doing very good, so good that they are moving him to a new POD!  They have 8 PODS 1 and 2, for the most critical babies and then you move up from there.  He is currently in POD 2 and will be moved to POD 3 today!  He is up to 925 grams (about 2lbs and 1oz) only 75 more grams to go!  We are believe that GOD is in control and has Carter in his hands.  I hope that everyone read the comment posted from Aunt Robin.  Our church is calling for a fast in Carters honor on 8/26 Tuesday.  Please join us for this fast on our baby's behalf.  We'll be in Orlando for till Tuesday night, will update with new pictures and comments asap.  Thank you everyone for your prayers.

917 grams!  Carter is doing good today.  He was taken off the photo therapy lights today.  So glad.  He had gotten a slight infection in his eye that they are treating with eye drops.  It is doing much better.  He has gained some weight, now he's 917 grams.  That is about 2lbs and 1/2oz.  But is good to hear that he is doing good.  He is up to 19ml on his feedings.  They are in need of breast milk and are supplementing with formula.  We will be returning on Monday to see him again.  Melissa, Travis and Van Albert are here with us now.  Helping out so much. Travis made us a wonderful homemade meal last night and Melissa had breakfast made when we got up this morning.  It has been wonderful having them here to help.  Everything from cooking to cleaning they have been a huge help.  God is showing us daily how much we are loved.  Thank you God for your many blessings and continuous love, grace, and mercy.  We have been so blessed.

8/23/08 Saturday
 Thank you for all your support.  I am blown away by the amount of people that have just poured out their love and support to us.  People that we don't even know.  I am in total awe of everything.  The report today was good.  The baby gained about 10 grams, that puts him over back over the 2lb mark again.  Which we are so happy about.  The closer to 2lbs 3.27ozs we get the closer to coming back over the the Melbourne Hospital we'll be.  He still has jaundice but the nurse thinks that he'll be taken off the lights tomorrow.  
I missed my boy so much today.  I was rocking Skylar to sleep today as I had him my arms I was thinking about Carter; how Skylar covers me when I hold him and my arms wrap around him and with Carter it is completely different, he literally just sits in my hands.  It is so hard to sit with one of your children and hold him tight and miss your other child soooooo much. 
Pour Skylar has had his little world turned upside down too.  He is such a great baby.  From being with mommy everyday to seeing her in a bed 24/7 on bed rest.  Daddy taking over doing all the things mommy did.  Then other people helping out, being passed from one person to the other.  When before he hardly was kept by anyone.  He has been doing so good with all these changes and has no clue what is going on, let alone that he has a little tiny brother. 
I am doing much better today.  I have faith in our God.  There is nothing I can do but trust in him.  How else can you get by?  Although I am so emotional about this situation and hurting, I know that God will take care of me and my family no matter the out come.

8-22-08 Friday

Today the news is not as good.  We thank god for everything that he has done for our little boy so far.  They did an ultra sound on his brain to see if there was any blood, and there was.  There is a scale they use to determine how bad it is 0-4 and Carter is a 3.  A 3 means that he could have long term damage to the brain, and he could possibly have cerebral palsy.  The doctors say it could be months before it is determined but there is concern b/c of the amount of blood in his brain.  They have schedualed an additional ultra sound for next Friday. So please be in prayer that God will remove the blood from his brain.  He also lost weight today and is now back down to 1lb 15oz.  Yesterday they removed the IV that feed him extra so that is to be expected.  He is now on 18ml per feeding, all milk from momma!  I feel like my life is run by a breast pump.  I pump every 2 hours during the day and at night, I allow myself to sleep a little, while I can and only pump once.  His jaundice went back up and was put on the photo therapy lights again.  They said that when they took him off his bilirubin was at 9 and it has now gone up to 12.2.  With John finally being able to return to work tomorrow for the first time in a few weeks, (with me being in the hospital and with Tropical Storm Fay) we unfortunately had to leave our baby boy today.  I have become so attached, that it was very hard and still is to think of him being so far away.  With all this bad news today, I am broken and hurting for my child.  We can only rely on God when things like this happen.  It was to be expected with preemies but nothing can prepare you for those words when it is you and your child.  Everything has been so good up to this point, I allowed my guard to come down and I wasn’t prepared to hear those words.  I can hardly even say it out loud.  Today it rained most of the way home, I felt as if the sky could feel my pain and was crying with me.  It was dark with and the bands from the tropical storm.  You could see the change in the sky so clearly.  At the end was beautiful, clear blue skies that opened up with a rainbow.  I pray that it was a vision from God, showing me the journey that we are about to take.  I know that times may get rough and dark, but at the end there is God waiting with open arms with my beautiful boy perfect in every way.  I must say thank you to everyone out there praying!   I love all your emails, cards, and prayers that you have sent our way.  Continue to keep my family in your prayers as we trust GOD to take care of us through this most difficult time. 

 

8-21-08 Thursday

PRAISE GOD!!  PRAISE GOD!!  PRAISE GOD!!  Nothing but good news everyday!  Today was such a good day.  When we arrived they had removed the oxygen completely and the IV that was in his arms was taken out too.  He looked so good, more like a healthy baby vs. a baby with a bunch of tubes and wires.  The only wires that he has now are just heart monitors but that is on top of this skin and he still has his feeding tube in.  But look at the pictures, such a difference.  He is up on his weight!!!!!  2lbs 1oz!!!  YAYAYAYAYAY!!   God is working miracles on our boy!  Once he hits 1000 grams he can be moved back to Melbourne.  We feel that will only take a week or two at the most!   I held him again today, I could hold him forever.  He does so well when we hold him.  His heart rate stays the same and all his stats look perfect.  I also got to change his diaper today!!  A poopy diaper!  You think you have seen small diapers, you haven’t seen anything till you’ve seen this!  I was terrified to move him all around and change him but I fought my fears and did it.  He has no bottom.  There are no butt cheeks; it is so weird to see.   Carter Daniel is a fighter and is truly going to make a difference in this world.  God has a plan for this boy, I know.

 

8-20-08 Wednesday

We traveled to Orlando tonight despite the tropical storm lingering over our house.  Our road is completely flooded but that didn’t stop us from going to see our baby boy.  When we arrived, I lifted his blanket that covers his incubator and there was our boy so small but looking so good.  He was removed from the phototherapy lights, so no more jaundice!  It was so good to see him in natural lights and see his little face without the eye covers on and to look into his tiny eyes.  The best part of the entire night was the moment they put that gentle body in my arms.  I have struggled to feel like I was a mom to this tiny creation that I barely got to touch, let alone never hold.  I felt detached and there was something about not being pregnant and not having a child in my arms and being 100 miles from me.  I can’t explain it exactly but very painful and sad.  But all that was erased when they put him in my arms.  I was so scared, they placed him on my chest inside my shirt, something they call the “Kangaroo Hold”.  Body to body, head on my chest so he can hear my heart beat.  He was so small with so many tubes and wires and I was shaking but supper excited.  Nothing, no words, no emotion, no action can explain what I was feeling.  I was so happy to have him be a part of me.  I was connected to MY baby again.  The nurse picked him up off of me and handed him to John.  You could see his little body so much better when John was holding him.  As I looked up to see my husband holding our baby, he was talking to him and telling him all about life, telling him how much he loved him, I fell completely in love with my husband over and over again.  This has been so hard on the both of us; you are so concerned with your children that it is very easy to forget about each other.  John has been so strong and such a rock.  I looked up and remembered why I love him so much.  We each held him for about 15 mins and then the nurse put him back in his bed.  It was such a great night.   He is eating so good and now up to 8ml per feeding.  Lots of poopy’s too!  Which is great for a preemie, they like to see good feedings and poopy’s.  Weight 1lb 15oz.

 

8-19-08 Tuesday
Today Carter is doing nothing but good.  They have upped his feedings to 6ml and he had a bowel movement!  YAYAYA!!  They say that possibly tomorrow they can take him off the photo therapy lights.  They continue to lower the oxygen levels and he is tolerating every thing just perfect.  God is working miracles in our little boy.  We pray for continued good reports. 

  8-18-08 Monday
Today mommy was able to visit for the first time.  My heart broke when I walked in the room and saw my little boy.  He is so small.  The pictures can never tell you how small he is.  I was overwhelmed with fear and every other emotion you could imagine when I saw him.  God is so real when you look at him.   When he breaths every part of his body moves.  I touched his little head & sang him a song.  It was a hard day but a good day.  Our little boy is in such great hands and the doctor says he is doing so good.  No change.  He still has jaundice, feeding about 4ml now, weight 1lb 13 to 14oz.  He sleeps most of the time and looks real good.  God is working miracles.  Please continue to pray.  We plan to go back on Thursday. 

8-17-08 Sunday
Carter has lost some weight, now 1lb 14oz.  Feeding good, they say and need more milk from me.  Which is very good.  He only eats about 3ml every 3 hours.  John and I plan to visit tomorrow.

8-16-08 Saturday
Today John and his Mother and Father were able to visit the baby and take him the breast milk I've been pumping.  The hospital is very impressive and extremely secure.  They will not allow anyone to see the baby except for the parents unless the visitor is with us.  Nor can anyone call to get info about the baby. 
Carter is under photo therapy lights b/c he has a bit of jaundice.  Still on a little oxygen but doing good.

8-15-08 Friday
Carter is doing good.  Removed off the ventilator and is almost breathing on his own. 

8-14-08 Thursday
 Carter was taken to Winnie Palmer Hospital in Orlando Fl.  He is doing ok considering but is currently on a ventilator. 

8/16/2009 10:06:47 PM - 002029486727
Looking over these pictures..All I can say is Wow & Praise you Lord,Thank you Father...There's a Light at the end of the Tunnel.
Carter was a sweet delight @ his 1st Birthday Party. Happy Birthday~

10/27/2008 3:19:10 AM - 002028895409
Carter is looking so good! He's got a little tummy to go along with that extra chin now. He looks so comfortable and happy. Glad to see you all finally got to have a baby shower too. Keep the pictures coming! Can't wait to meet him in person.

10/16/2008 12:00:26 AM - 001091468955
We love the coming home pictures.  How thoughtful it was that somebody made a  Welcome Home sign. I especially loved that you found cute matching outfits for the boys. Skylar looks happy to meet his new brother. Carter looks great. Both of you, Crystal  & John look so glad for this moment.  So relieved to finally have your son home where he belongs. We love you guys & are so happy for you.

10/15/2008 6:17:05 PM - 002026796755
Thank God Carter is home!!!

10/14/2008 4:19:49 PM - 002034316022
thank you wonderful heavernly father for all your love and mercy to this family and to MY PRECIOUS "LTL WARRIOR" WHO HAS FOUGHT HIS FIGHT FOR NOW AND BEING NAME DANIEL...MAY HAVE MORE TO COME...BUT HE HAS FOUGHT HIS LIONS FOR THE MOMENT AAND IKNOW YOU WILL BRING CARTER DANIEL THRU IT ALL!!!! CAZ WE HAVE LEARNED TO TRUST IN JESUS..LEARNED TO TRUST IN GOD!!THRU IT ALL I'VE LEARNED TO DEPEND UPON HIS WORD! PRAISE YOU FOR ALL YOUR SHOWERS OF BLESSINGS ON MY DAUGHTER AND HER FAMILY!!!

10/14/2008 3:52:18 AM - 002028463471

How GREAT is our GOD!!!!!!!!!  I'm so EXCITIED!!!! Carter's home!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you GOD!!!!!!

10/13/2008 2:37:56 AM - 002028895409
YAH! He did it! We are sooo happy for you all! Carter looks so good, and much more comfortable without any tubes. Can't wait to see the homecoming pics!

10/13/2008 1:30:33 AM - 002026796755
YEAHHHHHHHH!!!! I am so happy for you guys that Carter gets to come home.

10/12/2008 11:54:21 PM - 001091468955
YAHHH !!!! We are so excited for you. What a day you will have tomorrow with the long awaited homecoming of Carter Daniel. We can not wait to hold & kiss & see up close our newest grandson, Carter. I pray God will give you sweet sleep tonight as you close your eyes to get ready for tomorrow. I pray Carter has peace as he enters a new life at home with Mom, Dad, Skylar, Chloe, & Roxy. I know he will feel a calmness everyday in a loving home atmosphere as opposed to a bright, noisy, busy, neonatal unit. He is opening his present too. He doesn't know it yet but tomorrow he will begin to experience a normal family life. What wonderful gifts God gives us. Children, we are so proud of, and the blessings of grandchildren (miracles themselves). We love you, daughter & son more than life itself. We love the two grandchildren you have given us as if they were are own children. We grieve for them when you grieve for them & we jump for joy when you experience joy from them. I can not quit thanking our God for the many, many miracles He has given us. We do not take for granted not even one thing that happened. And most importantly we thank Him for all the things that could have happened but didn't.Love & Kisses!!

10/12/2008 7:31:03 PM - 002028895409
Haven't seen any new updates in a few days. I'm assuming all is well. Can't wait to see pics with no tubes!

10/12/2008 3:45:43 AM - 002033568186
i love the website, this is my first time on here, everything sounds like it is going good.guess what, it has been 3 days.. i love you, and next time you get a chance, give me a call, i dont go back to work until tuesday.. i just never know when to call you, and when i do, you never answer and then i get a call back 2 days later.. alright, talk to you when you call me..

10/9/2008 2:19:54 PM - 002033430938

Hi to the parents of Carter Daniel,

We know what your going through,as we had a preemie of our own. Cody weighed at 3 lbs 7oz and he is now 7 yrs old. He was born 3 months early and had stopped growing in my womb so they had to do a C section. And at that time he was born 2 days after 9/11 so it was hard to travel anywhere and we too had to drive to the hospital 4 x a day and Cody spent 2 months at cape canaveral and 3 weeks at weustoff so we feel your pain. We have still to this day have health issues with Cody but we are blessed every day with his smile. And when I read on craigslist that you where in need of help,well I new it was my time to give back to some eles that is in my shoes. Please let me know what we can do for you.

 

The Mayall family

10/5/2008 4:48:49 AM - 002024907006
i cant wait to see my ltl warrior home and holding him in my arms!!!!!!! i dont know that life will be normal...YOU WILL HAVE 2 BABIES UNDER 1...DID YOU KNOW MARK AND FRANK ARE 11 MONTHS APART!...LOL SO AUNT RENE' HAS AN IDEA OF WHAT YOU WILL BE FACING!!! LOVE YOU DARLIN...TAKE CARE AND GET SOME REST.......YOU WILL DEFINITELY NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10/4/2008 3:21:16 PM - 001091468955
We can't wait to get our littlest grandson home from the hospital. It looks as if it won't be too much longer. One day soon all this will just be a memory & life will be normal.

10/2/2008 2:14:58 PM - 002027520952
Carter is looking so amazing! We are praying everyday for you guys. We miss you tons! love you! Shaun and Autumn

10/2/2008 2:19:31 AM - 002028895409
Carter has a purpose to fulfill in life and he will fulfill it in Jesus' name! I pray for his body to line up with the Word of God and be healed and whole from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He IS a mighty warrior and will overcome through Christ. I pray specifically that his lungs mature and function correctly and that the desats cease, for his breathing to be free, regular, clear and uninhibited. God didn't bring him this far to have him go back now.  God has His mighty hand on this baby, and I just pray that His strength flows directly to little Carter and that he bounds back speedily and goes forward from now on with no more set backs in Jesus' name. We bind any lies and tactics of the enemy that may try to bring him or his parents down and ask Lord that You be over all. I also pray for super strength, peace, and perseverance for Crystal & John, the kind that can only come from God. Wrap your arms around them tightly Lord and hold them up and bring this family home together with Carter soon in Jesus' name, Amen!   

10/2/2008 12:09:01 AM - 001091468955
 Dear Lord,
I pray that you will cover Carter with your grace & mercy. Heal him, Lord. Let him feel your love wrapped all around him as a warm blanket. Protecting him, nurturing him, giving him everything he needs to emerge from this setback. We trust you, Lord. We know you are watching over him & his family but it is hard to feel so helpless. We want to fix it all so that everything is fine. But we don't have control. We can only ask you & stand in faith to see your hand at work. Thank you for all you have done & are doing. Thank you for every prayer that has gone out in Carters behalf. I pray special blessings to every person that has sent a prayer to you for him. We believe that this baby is a blessing & will be a strong & mighty servant of God. This trial WILL be a testimony. Your son, Jesus went to the cross not only for our salvation but for our healing. So I'm asking you to heal him. In Jesus mighty name, Amen

10/1/2008 11:08:06 PM - 002024907006

Crystal,

it will be worth it all when he is home and like you said he's better there than at home right now!! just hang on to GOD'S PROMISES   ...he IS  there...just look up to him and cry out to him!! he is your heavenly Father and loves you so much!!!!!!!!!!!just like me.. even more!

MY HEART IS HURTING FOR MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE I KNOW CARTER WILL BE COMING HOME...JUST HANG ON FOR NOW!!

YOU WILL HAVE TEARS OF JOY WHEN HE COMES!!!!

LOVE YOU

MOM

10/1/2008 10:29:34 AM - 002024907006
FOR OTH OF YOU...SORRY I KEEP MISTYPING MY WORDS...CANT SEE REAL GOOD

10/1/2008 10:27:54 AM - 002024907006

hi darlin..

do you realize that ltl Carter does better when his mommy is there??  i know you can't be there all the time...but i'm sure he will improve when his mommy returns!!!!!!!! and as you said...he has come so far...it's just SARAN'S LAST DITCH EFFORT TO BRIONG YOU DOWN....CAUSE YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A LOT OF CELEBRATING TO DO IN THE NEXT COMING WEEKS!! THERE ARE PICTURES AND YOUR COMMENTS POSTED ALL OVER THESE TOWERS...THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY SOME ONE DOESNT ASK ME HOW'S OUR LTLT BABY DOING...ALOT OF PRAYERS ARE GOING UP ALL OVER THIS NATION FOR YOU!

I LOVE YOU PEANUT

MOM

9/29/2008 1:37:21 PM - 002026936375

Crystal & John

"Surprizes" come in many forms, and we have a promise that God is always right there with us!  You have had some disappointing "surprizes" but you have also had some wonderful "surprizes".  I know that yesterday's "surprize" was not what you wanted to hear, but I am so very grateful that our Heavenly Father, knowing what the day would hold for you, lovingly cares so much for you, yes for Crystal Riezinger, that he sent His servant all the way from Rio de Janeiro with a loving, comforting message just for you.  How special you are to Him! How great is that!  How great is our God?

A very wise man once said "that which does not kill(destroy) us, makes us stronger".  How true that plays out in our Christian walk.  If there were no sickness, we would not need a Healer; if there were no sorrows, we would not need a Comforter; if we were not failable, we would not need a Savior; if we did not have crisis, there would be no opportunity for a miracle; without these needs in our life, we would have no testimony!

Psalm 145:3-7 "Great is the Lord! and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts.  They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works, and I will proclaim your great deeds.  They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness."  In fact read the rest of the chapter!

You and John serve a GREAT GOD!  He is with you through all your "SURPRIZES"!

With much love and prayer! Aunt Robin

9/28/2008 12:14:26 AM - 002016349775
love all the pics....i told you many times! I think i commented on like all of them!!!! yall look great and i know you guys are so excited about next week!!!!

9/25/2008 2:15:39 AM - 002026796755

Crystal,

Praise God that he gets to come home soon!!!! God Bless You.

 

Jannell

9/24/2008 11:53:57 PM - 001091468955
I just saw the updated pictures. Carter is so BEAUTIFUL!  He looks so good.  I can't wait to  hold him & give him some Grandma  kisses.

9/24/2008 11:47:52 PM - 001091468955
Crystal,
I love the picture of John's wedding ring on Carters hand. It really shows how small he is. You look at him & say what a beautiful little baby. Then when you see the ring on his whole hand it really  puts a different aspect on LITTLE. You are so smart to think of the things you do for the pictures. I love it! That picture is in a frame in my office.

9/24/2008 10:01:43 PM - 002028895409
Carter looks so good in his little outfit! Crystal, you still sing beautifully. And I love the picture of John giving Carter a kiss. So sweet.

9/24/2008 3:28:51 AM - 002016349775
Crystal and John I can't imagine what you guys are feeling, knowing your precious boy Carter will be coming home!!! I am So excited for you guys and it brought tears to my eyes reading the news!!!! We can't wait to visit with both boys being there!! What a great feeling! God is So good and he always delievers in the end! We are two best friends with such amazing testimonies of what God has done in our lives!!! I love ALL of you and can't wait for the next week or two to get the phone call!! HE'S COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9/24/2008 1:16:38 AM - 002028895409
Great news! I can't wait to meet this little miracle in person! We are sooo excited for you!

9/24/2008 12:24:49 AM - 001091468955
Rejoice! Praise the Lord! Our God  is an awesome God!  Thank you, Lord for the miracles in answered prayer. We are jumping for joy here in Georgia. It's words we have so longed to hear. I know none of us can know the excitement you two feel. It's off the charts! Congratulations!!!!

9/23/2008 12:35:54 AM - 002030767055

Hi John and Crystal,

   We are praying for you all and Carter every night before bed.  I am so glad he is doing well!  I know that hard times bring families together.  This will only make your stronger.  Take care and God bless.

-Jeremy (and Rachel)

9/21/2008 10:19:57 PM - 001091468955
Hey Guys,
I'm glad you were able to go to church. I know it is hard to go about your lives (like normal) when it's not normal. There must be part of you that feels empty when you try to go about your lives & know that one very important part of your lives is missing. I know you have a wonderful church family & every hug was a hug from our heavenly father. He knows the ache your heart feels & is loving you through your church family. Our love & prayers go out to you daily. I'm so glad you are able to visit Carter each day off John has because I know it is healing for Carter as well as the two of you. Love, Mama R

9/21/2008 2:36:32 AM - 002016349775
Oh and a CRIB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  love ya!!

9/21/2008 2:35:12 AM - 002016349775
Awww....Crystal I love the video...if I could I would comment on every picture. He is doing SO good!!! I can't wait for the FIRST family photo!!! You have 2 precious little boys with such strong parents!! You guys are amazing! Can't wait to come back and visit with BOTH boys being home!!! When our boys get older...it is going to be crazy fun!!!! We continue to pray for you guys! I show Van the pics and he says Scarter....I guess it is a short cut to say both!! LOL Miss you guys and love ya ALL!!!

9/20/2008 7:42:46 PM - 002024907006
the video is so precious...looks like he wants to nurse! he is so alert for being so young & small...love you  MOM

9/20/2008 4:19:28 PM - 002024907006

Praise GODfor our LTL WARRIOR has made it 5 weeks and breaking all records....CRYSTAL...TRY TO GET SOME REST AND GET READY FOR HIS HOME COMING!!! I LOVE YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST...YOU HAVE MADE ME SO PROUD OF YOU!!! YOU AND JOHN ARE DOING GREAT! SKYLAR IS THE SWEETEST BABY FROM THE LOVE THE TWO OF YOU GIVE HIM.... AND CARTER IS GAINING STRENGHTH EVERYDAY FROM THE LOVE & BONDING FROM HIS PARENTS!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ..PLEASE! ILOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER UNDERSTAND! MY PRAYERS ARE WITH U!!

MOM

9/18/2008 1:23:33 PM - 001091468955
Thanks so much for the video. It gives us all a real life glimpse of Carter. It is almost like being there in the room with you. I loved that he had the hiccups through the whole video. You are right he does look so good! And he loves being in Mama's arms. He looks like he is calmed by the sound of your voice. We are all praying for a quick homecoming & a clear scan on Friday. Love you guys so much, keep up the good work!

9/18/2008 3:35:55 AM - 002029486727
he looks so sweet in that video,How Great Is Our GOD!!!

9/18/2008 2:25:04 AM - 002026796755
Awwwww I love the video.

9/18/2008 2:18:52 AM - 002028895409
Awwwww.......what a great video!  Carter is sooo adorable and looks so good!

9/17/2008 11:49:19 PM - 002024907006

meema wants to know if his room is ready...cause i believe he is coming home sooner than you think and Skylar can then meet and help protect his ltl brother...just like BRAD use to do for YOU!

LOVE YOU GIRL!! PLEASE REST...YOU WILL NEED THE ENERGY!

MOM

9/17/2008 11:41:18 PM - 002028463471

What a cute video!  Thank you for sharing. PRIASE GOD for the wonderful report on how well Cater is doing!  Praying for you daily!

9/16/2008 5:44:26 AM - 002024907006

i've been looking all day to read your report...i can't wait to see the pictures....it is the first thing i do everyday is look for new pictures...i get excited reading your reports...GOD  is so awesome and he is proving his LOVE TO YOU!...SO REST IN HIS ABIDING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND IN EACH OTHERS LOVE AND KNOW HE WILL BRING CARTER THRU!! I HAVE HAD NO DOUBT ABOUT CARTER COMING THRU THIS...I JUST HAVE BEEN PRAYING EARNESTLY FOR MY DAUGHTER...WHOM I'VE NEVER SEEN SO DOWN!!!! BUT PRAISE GOD HE IS WORKING ON ALL US...REMEMBER "HE'S STILL WORKING ON ME!!" AND HE IS ON ALL OF US...HELPING TO MAKE US BETTER AND IN HIS LIKENESS!!

ALSO REMEMBER THE SONG..".HE DIDNT BRING US THIS FAR TO LEAVE US" THAT YOU AND I USE TO SING... he didnt teach us to swim to let us drown.... he didn't build his home in us to move away...he didn't lift us up...to let us down!!...there  are some promises in a letter...written a long long time ago.....just think of those words...he will bring you thru this and you will be stronger for it....

MY HEART AND PRAYERS AND ESPECIALLY MY LOVE GO OUT TO YOU TONITE...I DO HOPE YOU GET REST!! I WISH I WAS THERE...BUT IT'S OKAY...YOU HAVE TO KNOW AS A MOTHER MY HEART IS THERE!! TAKE CARE MY DARLIN! AND REST IN GOD'S PEACE AND LOVE! THANK GOD FOR JOHN...HE HAS BECOME SUCH A STRONG MAN...FOR HIS WIFE TO LEAN ON...

GOODNITE DARLIN..MISS YOU BUNCHES...GIVE SKYLAR AND CARTER A KISS FROM MEEMA! LOVE YOU

MOM

 

9/14/2008 7:33:53 PM - 002024907006

i am so proud for John!! Congratulations son!! Everyone i talk to at harvest always said what a great help you were to them... I am so glad you went on a date...it's important to take time for each other and lean on each other during this crisis and both lean on GOD! HE is your Joy and Your Strength...don't ever for get that!!

HE loves you both so much and even when you`never thought you would get your dreams...GOD BROUGHT IT TO YOU IN "HIS" TIMING!! YOU ARE SO LOVED AND PRAYERS ARE GOING UP FOR THE TWO OF YOU AS WELL AS "OUR LTL WARRIOR" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE IS SUCH A LTL FIGHTER AND I LOVE THE PICTURES WHERE HE LOOKS UP TO BOTH OF YOU!!! IT IS SO PRECIOUS.  I THANK GOD EVERYDAY.....YOU TWO ARE GROWING SO STRONG IN YOUR FAITH AND HE IS REWARDING YOU WITH BOUNTIFULS OF BLESSINGS...ESPECIALLY WITH LTL CARTER! I PRAISE YOU GOD FOR THIS SPECIAL LTL BUT "BIG" BLESSING TO ALL OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU DARLIN! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

MOM

 

9/12/2008 5:56:17 PM - 001091468955
Dear Crystal,
Great news!! I'm so excited. Let us all know what the numbers mean. Give Carter and Skylar a big hug & kiss from Grandma & Grand D. We love you & pray Gods peace & mercy over your family.What an awesome God we serve!

9/12/2008 2:24:02 AM - 001091468955
Dear Crystal,
I agree wholeheartedly with Rhonda.  What a celebration we'll have when Carter comes home. Everyday we celebrate that Carter & you are alive & well. Everyday we thank God for the progress he's making. We rejoice that you are getting stronger & healthier. It's okay if you get down or depressed because you have & are going through a lot. But don't let the devil keep you there. Don't look back, the future is too bright ahead. We love you baby girl.

9/12/2008 12:50:45 AM - 002028895409
Crystal & John,
I am so happy to hear that Carter is growing and improving every day. I can't wait every day to get online and check on his progress. It's such a testimony to what God can do. Crystal, as a mother, your update today really touched my heart. Although your pregnancy was cut short, I believe that God will fulfill all of the voids that you are feeling at this time as soon as Carter is finally home with you all. Then you can put all the unpleasantries behind you and blast into a most amazing future. As soon as Carter is able to travel you all need to come to Macon. Let us know ahead of time so all of your Macon family and friends can prepare a big celebration for his birth and homecoming! You haven't missed out on that part, it will just come a little later and be a whole lot better!!  We love you all and will continue praying you through!
Rhonda & Steve 

9/10/2008 12:05:41 AM - 002028463471
Crystal, this news about Carter has made my day!!!  I am praying for you guys daily and GOD is showing me just how powerful and loving he is!! I visit your page every day and praise GOD for every good day and even more for a day that is not as good. You have a little fighter there!  Your little boy is going to show this world some BIG things and what the power of prayer and our GOD can do! 

9/9/2008 6:23:53 PM - 002026796755

Crystal,

Praise God on your news about Carter!!! God is SO GREAT!!!

9/5/2008 2:22:53 AM - 002027581838
He is definitely looking better! Crystal, I'm not an NICU nurse but I am a Registered Nurse on a Respiratory floor at Holmes. I take care of patients on ventilators (life support). If you would like, I can explain some of the medical jargon they give you. Caregivers forget when they talk to family, not everyone is in the medical field. Desat is actually desaturating or desaturation. I can explain all that to you and there is a variety of reasons why he may drop at different times. Call me anytime!

9/5/2008 1:52:01 AM - 002026796755
God Bless you and your family. Carter is such a strong little boy. I love the new pictures that you put up for him he is such blesssing from God.

9/2/2008 4:32:47 PM - 002024907006
I'M GLAD YOU HAD A GOOD DAY WITH YOUR RELATIVES! I am sorry you are dealing with this health issue as well as everything else...hopefully your extended familt will be able to help you out!! my love and prayers are with you

9/1/2008 4:28:08 AM - 002027520952
It was so good to see you guys! I wish we could have stayed longer to keep an eye on Skylar for you. (because you know that wasn't a problem at all :) ) We are praying for you everyday and I know your family is going to pull through this! We love you so much and are always here if you need us! We are just a short drive away. Miss you tons already! Love Shaun and Autumn

9/1/2008 1:37:10 AM - 002024907006
 i'm glad your brother and his wife were able to come see you and the baby....he looks great..today...even seems to know his daddy is holding him...take care darlin...hope and pray you are getting stronger everyday!!!

8/31/2008 7:56:01 PM - 002024907006

GOD DOESNT MAKE MISTAKES...AND OUR LTL WARRIOR WAS A GIFT FROM HIM!!! SO REJOICE IB THE MASTERPIECE LTL CARTER IS!!!!!!!!!

http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=ZugaZir1cLs&feature=related..

8/30/2008 2:38:40 PM - 002024907006


PRAISE YOU GOD...MY DAUGHTER IS REJOICING IN YOU AND PRAISING YOU THRU HER TEARS!!! THANK YOU JESUS...YOU WILL BRING HER THRU THIS AND OUR LTL WOUNDED SOLDIER AS WELL...THANK YOU FOR ALL THE MIRACLES YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE...I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU MY DAUGHTER HAS LIFTED UP HER EYES INTO THE HILLS WHERE HER HELP HAS COME THROUGH!!! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!

8/29/2008 3:21:24 AM - 002024907006

hello daughter...justthink how far  he has come in 2 days...20 grams to o and he will be back in melbourne.. where u can see him everyday...yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!i love you darlin..

take care...bye 4 now

8/28/2008 9:21:08 PM - 002026399341

8/28/2008 6:22:09 PM - 002026796755

Crystal and John,

 

My heart goes out to you. I am praying for you and your family.

 

Jannell

8/27/2008 2:00:50 AM - 002024907006

i'm glad you had a great day with your little carter...i have prayed for you and him all day...i just drank water today...my friend scott in tx was fasting as well...there are so many prayers going up for little carter!!! Pastor Steve was joining the fast. i LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN...I LOVE OUR LITTLE WARRIOR SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!  THANK YOU GOD FOR OUR PRECIOUS GIFT

LOVE

YOUR MOMMA

8/27/2008 1:45:20 AM - 002026572659

8/25/2008 10:45:20 PM - 002026852159

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

I have no words right now. I'm utterly speechless at how strong this little child already is! He's such a miracle. I've been praying constantly for little Carter. I know God will do great things with this child. Stay strong! You have so much support coming your way.

 

Much Love,

Jon, Laci and Chayce D.

8/25/2008 2:29:23 PM - 002026843059
Hello Crystal!  I will be praying as well as fasting for your little gorgeous baby boy.  He is for sure a treasure from Jesus!  =)  I can not imagine how your heart must ache, and yet I know God is good.  Our human minds can not seem to understand the "why" and yet we understand the most important thing...HE IS!  Thank you God for being God and for being our HEALER, our refuge, our strong tower, our strength, our wisdom, our hope, our life, our joy, our encouragement, our defender, our hero, and a love like no other.  Surround Crystal, John, Skylar, and sweet Carter Daniel with your presence oh Lord.  Be their light.  Be their rainbow!  Thank you Jesus!  If there is anything I can do to help you guys please let me know.  Love and prayers, Jamie n Jaden

8/25/2008 1:43:05 AM - 002026936375

Dear Crystal & John

Psalm 121:1,2  "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills.  From where does my help come from?  My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."

As I stood looking into that incubator at Carter, my heart and soul were filled with such emotion - that someone soooo tiny - was soooo intricately formed.  Immediately Psalm 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." God's finest handiwork before my eyes in such a tiny package. Carter takes my breath away.  I can only imagine what you must feel as his parents. 

I praise God everyday for giving you both the strength to face each day during this difficult time.  He does care for you and He hears and answers our prayers.  The body of Christ and your family and friends are covering your entire family in prayer.  May you allow your faith to be increased with each encouragment you hear and read.  Your (our) church has called a special day of fasting and prayer for Carter, Tuesday, August 26th, and encourage everyone who reads this entry to join us in our fasting and petition to God on behalf of Carter Daniel. May God fill your soul with peace; the perfect peace that passes all understanding.  May He keep you under the shelter of His wings.

8/24/2008 7:37:49 AM - 002026525696
Dear Crystal and John,

8/24/2008 5:47:34 AM - 002024907006

dearr crystal,

my heart is breaking tonite because my daughter is hurting so much!...but the only thing i can say is that GOD IS INCONTROL AND NO MATTER WHAT...HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU...HE HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU THE BEST BLESSING IN YOUR HUSBAND AND ICING ON THE CAKE IN A "SPECIAL SON" SKYLAR AND NOW EVEN AM EXTRA SPECIAL BLESSING IN "CARTER" HE WILL PULL THRU THIS...AND YOU HAVE TO KNOW GOD IS ON YOUR SIDE!!!  HE WILL TAKE CARE OF CRTER AS MUCH AS HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU!!! YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE FAITH AS A MUSTARD SEED AND BELIEVE..HE WILL DO WHAT HE PRONISED HE WOULD DO AND THAT IS NOT GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN BARE!  I LOVE YOU AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND JOHN...JUST PRASY TOGETHER AND BE STRONG...GOD WILL HELP YOU...JUST TRUST AND LEAN ON HIM...LOVE UPI ...MOMMA

8/23/2008 6:53:00 PM - 002024907006

8/23/2008 5:00:40 PM - 001091468955
Dear Crystal,
You might feel like you are not strong right now. It's okay,  you don't have to be.  God has placed people around you that can hold you up. You don't have to be strong-God Is!  Fall into His arms like a child, cry & tell Him your worst fears. Then, feel His arms around you,  a fathers arms, full of love for His  daughter. He knows your pain. Feel His comfort, strength, & love. Give Him this burden, dear Crystal & Expect a Miracle! We love you & pray peace to you.

8/22/2008 8:15:29 AM - 002024907006
I GOT TO SEE MY LTLE WARRIOR TODAY...HE IS DOING SO GOOD....HE IS SUCH A FIGHTER...IT WAS GREAT TO SEE HIM...FEELS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN U SEE HIM AFTER LOOKING AT PICTURES...MEEMA LOVES HER LTL WARRIOR...HE IS STRONG AND GAINING STRENGTH EVERY DAY...ESPECIALLY WHEN HIS MOMMY HOLDS HIM!!PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY...MIRACLES ARE HAPPENING EVERY DAY! AS OUR LITTLE CARTER FIGHTS FOR HIS LLIFE!!

8/18/2008 6:10:32 PM - 002024907006

CRYSTAL AND JOHN,

God gave you an unexpected GIFT IN LTL CARTER...HE WILL BE AN AMZOMG MIRACLE SHINING THRU THE LOVE AND FAITH THAT HAS GROWN WITH THE TWO OF YOU!! AND NO MATTER WHO VISITS...HE IS WAITING FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT VISIT FROM HIS MOMMY...NO ONE ELSE WILL DO THE TRICK LIKE A LOVING MOTHER ...HER VOICE...HER TOUCH...HER STRENGTH COMING THRU WHEN SHE HOLDS HIM!  HE WILL BE AMAZING TO ALL WHO KNOW AND PRAY FOR HIM....CAUSE YOU AND JOHN HAVE COME SO FAR IN YOUR WALK WITH GOD...AND LTL CARTER WILL WALK AND BASK IN THAT STRENGHTH FROM HIS PARENTS

8/18/2008 1:18:52 AM - 001091468955
Dear Crystal & John,
We love you very much. We are so proud of the two of you & the depth of your faith.
We believe Carter is strong & though he started off small will not be small for long.Our God is an awesome, mighty God.He will protect & nurture Carter.He will give the doctors & nurses wisdom for his care.He has angels stationed all around him.God hears the prayers that are going out to Him on Carters behalf.Already there have been so many miracles.

8/17/2008 3:52:37 AM - 001092502458
Please pray for our baby boy.