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Hey Lady, want to make $14 the hard way?

Taken from the classic film "Caddyshack", the team name "$14 The Hard Way" reflects our intention to capture the essence of the film in the form of a highly sophisticated racing machine (or at least some heap with 4 wheels). Pit activities will likely include gopher hunting, Zen putting, and betting on just about anything like which of our crew members will pick their nose AND eat it. Other appropriate (or inappropriate, depending on your perspective) shenanigans may possibly be witnessed as well. The above mentioned racing machine will, of course, carry this theme throughout, including (but not limited to) Bushwood Country Club crests, a stuffed gopher somewhere, and other requisite references to the movie. Team members will be required to done proper country club and/or golf attire, even if it makes them look alarmingly like a 70's porn star. We are really just a bunch of guys that want to have fun at this event. We know our way around a race track, and won't cause any trouble. I hope to see you all there!

Latest updates

Sunday-Race Day 2-Troy Gets a Penalty and A Lame Peoples Curse

Sunday morning comes, and we are geared up and ready to go again.  No changes except I would be finishing the race so no one's seat time will be jeopardized.  Again, Troy was first to go out and he would have a long stint to make up for the day before.  This meant everyone else would have shorter 40-50 min stints for the rest of the race.  The big change with this is that we would only need to fill three times to complete the race.
  Troy's stint went alright until he put two off and was black flagged.  As the judges were getting tired of seeing us they decided to make Troy wait while they counted all the penalties that were doled out yesterday.  It was 187.  Then before letting us go, they painted a big pink Saturn symbol on the side of the car next to our number.  Personally, I don't get it.  Also, they said we "stink" of cheat and referred to us on numerous occasions as Cheaty McCheatersons.
  Again, Robin and Aaron were pretty flawless.  I can't say the same for myself and Johnny who both put four wheels off again (but Johnny's was definitely not his fault).  I also can't say the same for our team who forgot to fill the fuel jugs after Troy's first stop.  We had to leave Aaron out while Graham took his truck and filled the fuel jugs.
  They picked car 65 for the People's Curse.  This team drove like a bunch of dicks in their smoking fast, gutted 5-series BMW.  They definitely deserved the curse.  However, it was incredibly lame.  Every team was allowed to send one person with one wrench to undo as many things as they could in a given amount of time.  Then the challenge for the team was if they could make it out back on the track before the end of the day.  They did and it was the lamest people's curse ever.
  Nothing super eventful happened after that except for a little fun with the pit board by Graham.  I got in with just over a half hour to go and brought the car home.  I got little green flag running due to car failures and then finally when the #34 Big Sausage team flipped their car while in the lead going over lost hill.  It was by far the worst wreck all weekend which meant the weekend was pretty safe.  The race ended while yellow and we finished 20th out of 108.  Not bad for a rookie team.
  Last, I want to say thank you to my whole team.  Some of us did more work than others, I let my frustrations get the better of me, but in the end, we worked as a team both on and off track.  Everyone should be incredibly proud of the result we earned and the champagne we shared at the end of the race could not have tasted sweeter to me.  In the end, we put together a good race car that performed exactly as intended.  Other than our fuel, our pit stops were very fast and organized.  We all worked, with a lot of help from family and friends.  And it is an experience I won't soon forget, I hope will soon repeat.  Thank you all and congratulations on a fantastic result.

Saturday - Race Day!

By now, everyone had arrived.  Jason and John were going to be our crew and everything was planned for the pit stops from the fuel, to the water pouch, to checking the engine, and even the tires.  Jason would act as crew chief and manage the race.  Here was our driver order:  Troy, Robin, Aaron, myself, Johnny, and Graham.  We were going to do 1.5 hour stints which would probably last us the whole day, which it did.

    Right off the bat, Troy did really well, passing cars and keeping the wheels on the track without penalties.  A yellow came out about an hour into is first stint and basically ended his first outing a bit early.  This was our first chance at a pit stop and everything actually went to plan.  The car was easy to drive long outings, and Troy kept his nose fairly clean (he made contact in two places).  Robin and Aaron did the same and all three were the fastest ones on the whole team.  Even though we had started with a 15 lap penalty, we had continued to move up the time sheets with every stop.  But, our lack of power made this car impossible to pass on the straights, and it was difficult to turn competitive lap times and we lost time to the leaders throughout the whole day.
    Unfortunately, I earned our first penalty.  While going out to the track I was stopped briefly for "speeding" in the pits and entering the track in the wrong area.  I wasn't stopped long, but I was a little flustered.  When going out, I was immediately in a 7 car traffic jam and I was in heavy traffic for the next three laps.  Driving in the afternoon yesterday did not prepare me for this.  While going into the final turn, I had another car on my inside that braked way too late for me to make a proper turn in and I put all four off, which is an immediate black flag.  Luckily, it was my first penalty and they let me go with a warning and I was able to finish my stint without issue gaining a couple places in the process.
    Johnny and Graham finished strong, but both incurred penalties.  However, for three guys who've never set foot in a race car, we kept a lot of composure and the team was in a good position for the next day.  Our biggest concern was tire wear which was pretty excessive on the left front (since our biggest and longest turns are right) and the exhaust which we dented to prevent it from wearing on the rear suspension.  Our fairly mild day actually pissed off our crew chief who was expecting a lot more to do!  And with that, we made dinner and finished the evening with a showing of "Joe Dirt"!

Friday - 1 day to Race - Test Day - "We got ourselves a convoy!"

Soooo.....yeah.  Sorry for the lack of news cause we were busy building a car and to be honest, it was touch and go as to whether it would happen.  Anyway, here's a recap of the run up to and the actual race.  But first, I wanted to send my thanks to the following people:
-Jason and Maria Castillo
-Mike Fitzwater
-Dr. Mom
-The wives, fiances, and girlfriends
-John Kessler (even though it didn't make it on the car!)
-Sweetcheeks and Alan Clarke
-And to everyone who helped make this such a successful effort.
-And oh yeah, Nicole too


Friday - 1 day to Race - Test Day - "We got ourselves a convoy!"
That's right.  Aaron, Troy and myself (and oh yeah, Nicole too) made a nice three person convoy that left early Friday morning.  Nothing like hauling your race car an hour and a half on one of California's more notorious passes on three hours of sleep.  For all you FSAE alums out there, this wasn't completely FSAE style in the lack of sleep and grunginess, but it was pretty close.  After braving a 90 minute drive to the track and endless jokes about Nicole being in a trailer sandwich, we arrive and setup pits near our RV parking area and unload the car.  Now it was time to put on some finishing touches in the morning and then get the car ready for tech and afternoon practice.
   Tech.... technical inspection went just fine.  We had too VERY small items to fix, which was way better than the car in front of us.  I don't remember the team name, but these guys bought a car with a roll cage already in it, but it was made with .065" thick exhaust tubing.  To give you a contrast, we made ours out of 1.5" O.D. mild steel tubing with a 0.12" wall thickness.  The technical inspector said flat out, "You guys FAIL!"  But there was hope for these guys it turns out.  They paid on-site fab shop $1200 to weld a cage in for them.  But I digress... anyway, tech was a breeze for us.  So we had that going for us, which is nice.
   Passing judgment on the price of the car was not so nice.  Right after tech, they have judges who look at your car and determine how much it is really worth.  You have the opportunity to bribe them (which is encouraged as they have a jar marked "Bribes" at the judging table), and we did so.  This was done with 3 Red Bulls and six-pack of Pacifico.  If you don't know what that is, that's fine, but for those of you who do, shut up, I've already heard enough from Aaron about this.  This was a paltry bribe and the judges let us know both verbally and with a sizable penalty of 15 laps (1 lap is worth $10 that they think you are over the $500 a car should cost), which was mostly for our very shiny suspension bushings that were installed.  However, this was also due to the fact that we were just not prepared for this part of the competition and to be honest, Graham and I blew it.  Basically, you have to be really good BS artist and bribe them with classy nudey mags and some GOOD alchohol.  Not crappy beer and a couple of Red Bulls.  By the end of the day, we could see their haul and these judges did very WELL.
   It should be said that our 15 lap penalty wasn't the worst.  A lot of cars started with penalties because lets face it, $500 is a tough limit to work with.  And it was clear a lot of teams were cheating because I can't tell you how many E30s we saw.  The worst offenders were two Audi A4s that each got over 1000 lap penalties.  Even with their more recent technology, the didn't last long in the race.
   For those of you curious we ran Buttonwillow's track layout number 13 clock-wise, which was 2.68 miles and fairly fast (especially for those of us who don't have any racing experience beyond electric go-karts).  Except for two hills and one hair pin, the track is mostly straights and high speed turns.  And let me tell you, our car loved the corners.  This thing was hooked up after we got the springs cut, the suspension aligned, and had proper tires on it.  But it was a dog on the straights.  This would be our Achilles heel all weekend.  Still it was a very productive afternoon. We adjusted tire pressures so the car fairly neutral in the turns and we got in about 33 laps amongst Troy, Aaron, Graham, and myself.  Still, we had valve train noise that worried us, an oil leak the continued from the oil pan, and the exhaust we manufactured was definitely hitting the rear suspension.  Also the dash had stopped working, and unfortunately it was out of Johnny's hands to fix it.
   At this time though, we had almost everyone there.  John and Robin showed up after work bearing some finishing touches for the car.  We painted shirts, painted the rules on the hood, Nicole had already done a very nice lemon on the roof and "Gunga La Gunga" on the bumper, and we even added golf balls to the shaft of the shifter along with a gopher puppet to act as a shifter sock whenever we weren't driving.  We did some pit stop practice, which turned out we were one of the few to do any prep for this (but I think it was WELL worth it if I do say so myself!).  Pretty much, we were ready with no big issues going into the next day and we closed out our first day with a showing of Caddyshack on the side of Troy's trailer.

Monday-Thursday Synopsis - Final Prep Days

Not much to say other than the major last minute details got taken care of at Aaron's place.  Dash got mounted, seat was bolted down with proper fasteners, seat was braced, cold air intake was crafted, roll bar padding was installed and the car was painted.  We went with Golf Ball White.  Just kidding... it was white already, we just needed dimples which Aaron provided with faded gray circles all over the car.  But dimples weren't enough.  It just didn't feel Lemony enough.  A can of florescent green field paint provided some inspiration for Troy and so we had green bumpers.  To be honest it didn't look bad.  Except it was clear that Troy will never be an artist and should be allowed to paint anything ever again (*cough* overspray *cough*).  Good thing Aaron's motorcycles are already green.

Saturday (6 days to Lemons) - Build Day 22 - Graham Visits

Graham stops by to turn some wrenches and install an exhaust.  Troy takes his first test drive.  I get a flat on my BMW.  I only tell you this because it doubled my anxiety for the rest of the week.  Anyway, we do some seat adjustment, install some $9 hood pins, bleed the brakes, put on a Civic SI exhaust, and cut the springs by another coil.  At this point, the car is looking pretty good and it now meets almost all of the tech requirements.  So of course, it was time to get the hell out of Jason's front yard and move it to Aaron's place!

Thursday (8 days to Lemons) - Build Day 20 - First Test Drive

Holy loudness and misalignment Batman!  At this point, we have completed the car's major items.  Roll cage, brakes, suspension, engine, and exhaust.  I mention the exhaust because we quickly realize that if we were not going to be thrown out for cheating, then they would surely throw us out for making their ears bleed.  Using nothing more than a simple straight pipe exhaust, clamped to the end of our exhaust, our car could be heard for miles and I was sure if we didn't piss off Jason's neighbors already for all the metal grinding, this would put them over the edge.  Anyway, I got to drive it out to a dark and lonely canyon about 2-3 miles from Jason's place up the 126, with the exhaust billowing fumes from burning off exhaust pipe coating and my head lights pointed in every direction that wasn't useful for highway driving.
   Well, I get out to the canyon and take her out slowly.  Mind you I'm scared to death because of the noises the car is making.  Every turn of the wheel creaks the chassis and I'm overwhelmed by muffler sound.  I get to my first chance to brake hard and the brakes lock up VERY fast and the car shoots to the right.  There were 2 times I almost ended up in a ditch with the car.  However, I got it back to Jason and Aaron who did their shake down runs.  All three of us agree the car is a bit down on power.  At this point, it became very apparent that the car needed a stiffer suspension, an alignment, a timing check, and most of all new muffler.

Day 16 Status - So close, yet so far

So here we are just over a week out and our engine doesn't run due to a leaky flange, our roll cage isn't completely finished, and the seat isn't in.  But we did get in a great set of wheels from Robin that fit the car perfectly (sans the right bolts), the engine is ready other than the leaky flange, and the suspension and brakes are all set to go and the body has been reassembled.  Other than that, I'm about to lose my mind, Jason's neighbors are getting ready to torch the car, and Aaron is drifting closer and closer to becoming a full on red neck (see picture).

Day 5 Status

Lots of work was done by Jason, Troy, and myself.  The main roll hoop was tacked in, the timing belts were replaced, and the exhaust was removed and the replacement prepped.

Pictures

Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza

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5N1B8493.JPG
5N1B8493.JPG 2009-11-21
5N1B8495.JPG
5N1B8495.JPG
5N1B8495.JPG 2009-11-21
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5N1B8538.JPG 2009-11-21
5N1B8669.JPG
5N1B8669.JPG
5N1B8669.JPG 2009-11-21
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5N1B8676.JPG 2009-11-21
5N1B8772.JPG
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5N1B8772.JPG 2009-11-21
5N1B8773.JPG
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5N1B8773.JPG 2009-11-21
5N1B8774.JPG
5N1B8774.JPG
5N1B8774.JPG 2009-11-21
IMG_3104.JPG
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IMG_3104.JPG 2009-11-22
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IMG_0286.JPG 2009-12-21

2009 Buttonwillow Histrionics

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Car Build - Days 20-22

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Car Build - Day 14

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Car Build - Day 6

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Car Build - Day 5

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Car Build - Day 4

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IMG_0955.JPG 2009-07-13

Car Build - Day 3

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Car Build - Day 2

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IMG_0508.JPG 2009-07-01

Car Build - Day 1

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Original Purchased Car

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Videos


Champagne!

Marvin Bob Penalty

Final Driver Change - Marvin Bob

IMG_0098.MOV

Related Pages

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1/30/2012 9:34:45 AM