South Beach and L.C. Safari
The Greenview Hotel 1
Marcia, generally tidy, is also a "dropper" in her sleeping space, which is why, after 5 mins, our floor looked like so.
Greenview Hotel 2
There she goes. Dropping shit.
Greenview Hotel 3
Here's Marcia testing out the surprisingly uncomfortable wire cage chair.
Ocean Drive in South Beach
We HAVE arrived. Art deco, neon lights, patio dining and two-mile per hour traffic as far as the eye can see.
Ocean Drive in South Beach 2
Not the roided, surgically enhanced meat market we expected (lots of obese islanders on moto-scooters). Jim feels sexy.
Espanola Way
A pedestrian boulevard with a slew of tightly packed restaurants. The eats were pretty damn good in South Beach.
Boardwalk
A string of majestic ocean-front hotels we could not afford (and didn't want to stay in anyway).
The Beach
Water temperature was sublime; put Marcia in such a contented trance she didn't spot me taking these glamor shots.
The Beach 5
Definitely worth a squeeze.
Mansion Nightclub
We waited an hour in a line that didn't move the first night, but got in the second. With a capacity of 2500...
Mansion Nightclub 2
... it may be So. Beach's largest club, but what I want to know is what the fuck does this guy think he's looking at???
Mansion Nightclub 3
Sizzling. Don't touch. Ooo!
Lion Country Safari
Jim excitement = 8.5; Marcia excitement = 4.5
Rhinos
Jim's desire to exit vehicle = 9.0; Marcia's desire to exit vehicle = 2.5
Ahoy Zebras!
Believe it or not this is the best shot we have of zebras.
Ostrich 1
The coolest "in-your-car" animals. They'd scope you out, chew their ass, step in front of your car, etc.
Ostrich 2
One got kinda pissed off when I started tapping on my window. He came over to tell me so...
Ostrich 3
Marcia: "Okay, stop. Okay, Jim... STOP IT."
Lions 1
An extra layer of protection between us and the lions, fierce predators who may spring and attack without warning...
Lions 2
As you can imagine we were quite tense even in our car, sensing their bloodthirst, their merciless desire to maim...
Lions 3
A tense moment. The man in the zebra truck is utterly vulnerable. We hug ourselves and await his fate...
Lions 4
Close call. Terrifying. Just... terrifying.
Waterbucks 1
First Waterbuck, to second Waterbuck: "Dude, you totally have a white target on your ass."
Waterbucks 2
You may think this herbivorous animal, with his peculiar ass marking, is merely a silly creature, but be not fooled...
Waterbucks
Look closely. This one senses that Marcia only tolerates animals. And he's going to kill her.
Asiatic Water Buffalo
1.5 tons each, and widely domesticated. They move accordingly.
Chimpanzee
I began gesticulating to see if he understood sign language. I'm pretty sure he gave me the finger.
Elephants up close.
Apparently more dangerous than lions, separated by car, fence & moat. It's like bleacher seats at a Sox game.
Spider Monkey
Ha-VEN'T, you al-ways want-ed a mon-KEE??! He's blurry because he wouldn't stay still.
Iguana
I used to own one of these, but they get a lot bigger when you let them out of the tank (if only I'd known that).
Alligators 1
Florida's finest. Creepy how quietly they'd change location. We were constantly asking, "Where'd the other one go?"
Alligators 2
What I didn't realize is that gators are camera whores. This guy came right up to the plexiglass for a close up.
Tortoise
This guy was bigger than a water cooler jug, and was munching grass like he didn't know where he might get his next fix.
Flamingo
Another camera whore.
Pet the pygmy goats 1
Readiness to kidnap goat from park: Marcia = (refused to dignify stupid question with answer)
Pet the pygmy goats 2
Readiness to kidnap goat from park: Jim = (refused to dignify obvious question with answer)
Giraffe feeding 1
Specially formulatted giraffe biscuits were available for $2.50 each. Booster balcony got us up to head height.
Giraffe feeding 2
See that tongue? That's about 1/4 the full extension length. This is important because the attendant whispered to me...
Giraffe feeding 3
"If you put it in your mouth he'll take it out." So of course I did...
Giraffe feeding 4
Getting french-kissed by a giraffe? Is. Absolutely. Disgusting.
The morning after
Some cuddle-wuddle.