John and Alyx - johnandalyx

Our Odyssey Together

Our Odyssey Together

Birthday BBQ

Spanakopita Strudels

China's Lost Girls


California mom starts blog about her husband’s infidelity, divorce, and starting a new life
Brings back some weird memories...

Good for her!

California mom starts blog about her husband’s infidelity, divorce, and starting a new life
Goodbye
Yesterday we said our farewells to a very kind man and beloved family member.





Goodbye Uncle.  Thank you for being so kind to me throughout my life.

We will miss you...Until the next time.
Easter: Decorating for Easter - Martha Stewart
I only picked a few of my favorite out of the several that are available.

Ohhh! spring is finally here!

Can't wait to start wearing baby blue and pick again.

:)


Here is the template here:


Easter: Decorating for Easter - Martha Stewart



Read more at Marthastewart.com: Egg Creatures - Martha Stewart Crafts 




Now you can be buried in a bacon coffin

Now you can be buried in a bacon coffin

Seriously?

I feel so oily just thinking about it...
Big Stitch Knit Rug - Knitting Crochet Sewing Crafts Patterns and Ideas! - the purl bee
Big Stitch Knit Rug - Knitting Crochet Sewing Crafts Patterns and Ideas! - the purl bee
5 Foods To NEVER Eat | Beyond Diet
Really good video on

5 Foods To NEVER Eat | Beyond Diet

I did not know!

Whole wheat bread
fake butter
fake sugar
orange juice
soy milk
The No Squats Belly, Butt & Thighs Workout - Prevention.com




I am going to have to try this seeing as I can't fit into my old work clothes anymore.  Either I am going to have to lose some weight or buy new clothes!!! (Maybe both)

From Wall Bridge starting position, extend legs straight up against wall so body forms an L. Inhale and slowly lower left leg down wall like a clock arm toward 9 o'clock; exhale and return to start. Repeat with right leg, sweeping toward 3 o'clock. Continue to alternate legs until you've completed all reps. MAKE IT HARDERWrap an exercise band around left foot and hold both ends beside opposite hip for added resistance as you sweep left foot down wall. Do all reps, then switch legs and repeat. MAKE IT EASIERMove 3 to 6 inches away from wall so torso and legs form a wider angle.

I am loving Pinterest! (For all these great ideas and links)

The No Squats Belly, Butt & Thighs Workout - Prevention.com
The Flying Tortoise: Tiny Houses To Make You Swoon...
Super cute tiny houses you would love to live in:

The Flying Tortoise: Tiny Houses To Make You Swoon...: Steven over at Tiny House Listings has started a new site. It's called Tiny House Swoon. Have a look here . It's similar to one of my fa...
Keep Hope Alive
Each of the services that John and I have been to in attending church has felt directed to me and it has been calming and reassuring in many ways.

Todays service was about keeping hope alive while also doing a ceremony of child dedication.  I think that the ceremony is the UU equivalent to a baptism perhaps?  There were three infant children being dedicated in a beautiful ceremony surrounded by their parents, godparents, extended families and friends and then the rest of the congregation at witnesses.  The love and sentiment was so beautiful that it actually brought tears to my eyes and the longing I felt for a child of our own felt almost too great to bear at that moment.

Throughout the better part of the past 20 years I have not thought of having any more children.  I felt I made so many mistakes with the one I already had that perhaps I didn't feel worthy of bringing another child into the world.  I didn't feel confident that I could be a good mother or that even if I were to have another child and was able to be a good mother than it would somehow be unfair to my first born.

I love my son.  I hope he knows this, and I believe he does.  When John and I got married I asked Jordan what he thought of us having a child together and he genuinely seemed excited at the idea.
I then gave myself permission to want to have another child.  Obviously I have not yet been successful and it has been somewhat stressful since then.

The minister shared with us the story of her own relationship with her son, also named Jordan, also in the military and how she and him spend his birthdays together.  It reminded me of one of the very few birthdays of Jordan's that I got to spend with him.  I spent his 10th birthday with him and he longingly asked me for an older brother.  He said he gets lonely being an only child and he would really like to have an older brother who he can play with and would protect him.  It nearly broke my heart to hear that he felt as sad and lonely as he did  and I felt so helpless as his mother.  I explained to him that it was impossible for him to have a biological older brother because even if I were to have more children, since he was my first child, he would always be the oldest. I think he was disappointed to gear that and I doubted at the time that he would ever even be an older brother himself.

Now, my son, nearly 20 years old in just a few months, is old enough to become a father himself, making me a grandmother.  I can only hope that he waits until he is done with the military, done with college, happily married and sure that he is with his favorite and most best girl who loves him and will be a wonderful wife and one day mother.  That is my hope for him as his mother. There are so many things I would do differently if I could but he turned out to be a kind and warm person which I adore, and I am so grateful for him.

I really would love to have a child with John and I hope that the universe hears me.  Today's sermon helped remember to keep hope alive and if for some reason I am not able to conceive then I am prepared to be content as a grandmother.  ONE DAY.  Not anytime soon I hope.

Jordan's High School Graduation 2010

My cute dog
He keeps us constantly entertained.

The precious moments provided by Socrates!

Busted

He thinks he should stay there

He crawled on my chest and fell right back asleep.

No church but was enlightening nonetheless
We went to So Cal this weekend.  I am so glad to be back home though.

It's always such a treat to spend time with my family but I think I am getting too old for the 6 hour drive there and back.

This time was especially hard coming back because we crowded three into John's truck, with me in the back seat (which is barely a bench) with Socrates insisting that he say put on top of me no matter how uncomfortable I was.

We went down for a couple of reasons, one of which was to attend the Natural Products Expo in Anaheim.


I bought full access passes to the the seminars and it was incredibly enlightening.

More impressive was the presence of Korean culture.  Clearly sponsored by Korean government, there was a sizeable section on the floor within the natural foods area dedicated to Korean foods.




It mainly highlighted Korean snacks including crispy seaweed sheets eaten as snacks.  I have seen them being sold in Trader Joe's and my sister tells me they are now being sold in Costco as well.

They are very thin sheets of seaweed that have been lightly seasoned and then cooked by quickly grazing them over heat.

I'm pretty proud that this has made it's way into American grocery stores and I'm tickled that people seem to be enjoying it.

Trade shows are always fun but this is the best trade show I have been to (although I have mostly only gone to tech shows so it's not really fair to compare).

This show had the best shwag on the planet.  All natural -  snacks, savory and sweet foods, drinks, desserts, soaps, lotions, sprays, baby products, feminine products, men's products, raw ingredients, contract manufacturer's, from Africa, Asia, South America, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Tahiti, etc, etc, etc....

It was amazing and I left the show with enough shwag to keep me happy with travel size stuff for the next several months (if that is all I use).

It's a pricey ticket if you are an industry professional but I think it's reasonable if you are a retailer or even as a guest?  I'm not sure but you can check them out here.

We will hit the church next week so stay tuned.
Crafty Goodness - Part Deux - Planter meets Paint
We inherited some planters from a friend when we got back and since this was the first warm weekend after settling ourselves in I grabbed my gardening gloves, an old planter, the flowers I bought for the planter and a can of spray paint.  Yep, you read that right.

We live in a yellow house so I thought it would be cute to plant some bright yellow flowers in a turquoise blue planter.  Not sure if you know but aqua blue is hard to find as a planter so I had to make one out of one of the hand me downs we so thirstily accepted.  (Thanks Willem and Erin!)

Washed and dried really well before painting

As I was getting ready to start painting John came rushing outside and told me to go into the backyard and paint and not to do it on our deck.  Clearly, he recognized I was new to spray paint and saved us both a big headache after I saw the mess I made on the grass.  (I'm thinking that the grass is fine and will look right again when the gardener comes to mow the lawn.)

Crafty Goodness - Soap Dispensers

Jars, Paint and Stencil

 Earlier in the week I posted some pictures of jars upcycled into soap dispensers. 


I wanted to give you an update of the end results.


Just to give you a heads up, I ended up not using the soap I made because it ended up being a big goopy mess with ZERO lather, although it smelled great!


Perhaps it was because I didn't use the right bar soap? 

Prepped and ready to be painted (Spray paint works better)

Although these are the materials I used the first time around I ended up using a spray paint because this brush on paint wiped right  off when I went to wash the jars.  I used the Martha Stewart stencils and they work fine but mostly I liked the typography better than any of the other stencils I saw.  

Final result with new paint

It was great fun making the jars and they look pretty cute in the kitchen and bathroom sinks.  I ended up getting store bought refillable soap though but it's still pretty cute.

Cheers~!
Cooperate not Compete
It's such a nice day in the Bay Area today.

It feels like we are fully immersed in summer and it's been a beautiful weekend.

I feel like I have had a very productive week despite being out of work, and all in all we are feeling quite content being back here in the Bay Area.

John made an incredible beef and collard green dish in the slow cooker using a recipe he found in the Healthy Slow Cooker cookbook and I have enjoyed every meal we have had to finish off the leftovers.  Last night he made my favorite side dish of brussel sprouts to go with it and I think I love it better and better every time I have it.

Beef Carbonnade and  brussel sprouts with garlic rice

I have a good husband and I feel pretty lucky.  It's great fun being married and I'm glad I did it!

Also, inspired by pinterest I have been extremely busy crafting throughout the weekend during my breaks of job hunting and sending out my resume.

I have managed to do some gardening, painting (not artistically), cooking, and soap making.

I will add photos of all that on another post.

The heading on this post is cooperate and not compete and I heard those words loud and clear during this mornings sermon.

In discussing the relationship that the minister had with her brother while growing up she used words and phrases like sibling rivalry, different, foreign, misunderstandings, disagreements, and patience, love and tolerance.

If the intention is to continue to have a relationship and succeed at it there needs to be cooperation, patience, and tolerance.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 
― Albert Einstein

I often think of this quote when I am in a disagreement or argument with someone.  I find myself frustrated when a friend, a co-worker, a family member, my son, my husband and I are having a difficult time communicating.  We are who we are and the beauty of us is that we are unique in our ways  of being and thinking.  I need to learn to accept that.

Because I am an individual that is part of something bigger than myself, in my relationship with my husband, as a member of my family, as a citizen of my community, I find it nearly impossible to avoid any kind of conflict.  If I am lucky than I am able to dodge it with much concentration and avoidance.

I admit this is probably not healthy and in todays sermon I learned that having the courage to confront one's own conflicts are necessary in order to succeed in personal growth.  "How do we live with each other when we disagree?"

That was one of question posed and I thought on how John and I are able to resolve our own problems and live with each other even when we disagree.  We come from very different backgrounds yet it seems that we are more alike than if I were to be with someone from a very similar background. I suppose that is why and how we ended up with each other.  Like attracts like and we are like one another in many different ways.  One of them being the way we argue or disagree, although I tend me to be more rigid and he more flexible.  And so when we disagree we find a compromise and then move forward.  Neither of us hold on to anything and so we find a solution as soon as possible and then move on without second guessing it.  I suppose we have the desire and the need to find absolute solutions because we want a happy and calm home as much as possible and so it becomes necessary.

I interpreted this phrase "cooperate not compete" to be a good reminder to be a positive contributor to my community and I am grateful for it.
Patches update
Added the two missing patches.

Mounted back into the frame and now back on the wall.

Souvenir patches

Upcycled Jars
I am not a pack rat.

I just hate throwing things away that I think I can re-use somehow, someway, someday.

When we left for our big trip last year I sent a LOT of good stuff away to goodwill, friends, the sidewalk (where scavengers/salvagers scour around the neighborhood and grab stuff relatively quickly).

I only saved a few select few jars and containers that were small enough to justify packing away and now I finally found a way to re-use them.

Old Jam and Mayo jars

I upcycled some old jars into perfectly sized glass soap dispensers.

Thank goodness because I was getting sick of buying hand soap.

Now that I have these nifty soap dispenser ( recycled jam and mayo jars) I will start saving those hotel soaps (and bar soaps that are too small to be functional) and melt them down with essential oil and honey to make hand soap.

See jar inspiration here. - I say inspiration because I ended up recycling jars instead of using mason jars.  Also, we created the top hole differently.  We just took a big nail and punched a hole with a hammer.  The rest of it is the same.  It's like aluminum on top so it's very weak and tears easily.

See recipe here.  I will try this recipe tomorrow using lavender essential oil for my bathroom and almond oil for the kitchen.

I'm no noob when making soap (which is why i still have soap friendly essential oil lying around) although this will be my first time making liquid soap.  actually it looks much easier than making bar soap so this should be easy peasy.

I'll post end results afterwards. In the meantime I'm on the hunt for some inspiration on how to decorate the jars while also being water proof...

For more 'pinspiration' find me here:
Patch Collection
Most people collect something when they travel as a keepsake or souvenir of sorts.

When I was younger my Father piled us into an RV and drove us cross country at which time my Mother faithfully solicited collectors spoons at every stop.  We ought to have a spoon for every National Park in the US and from every major tourist attraction from at least 40 States.

I myself have collected postcards and magnets from my own travel destinations and now have an impressive, albeit cluttered refrigerator and postcard piles collected in boxes.  

Prior to leaving for our global expedition John and I decided we would collect a souvenir from each country along the way and thought long and hard about what we would bring back with us.  It needed to be compact and lightweight as we were going to be packing it into our backpacks.

We decided patches would be the best souvenir and so we started collecting right away with Fiji as our first.

We had some interesting experiences because of our one track mindedness for the patches but in the end I am glad we suffered though.

We came back to the US missing patches from 3 countries.

Hong Kong/China/Hungary.  We found it ironic only because we were thinking that most of the patches we bought were actually made in China.  We could be wrong but I doubt it since currently the trend is that nearly everything is made in China.

Luckily, Amazon.com has been able to supply us with the missing ones and now so today I started on the "patch project" seen below.

As it turns out we visited 24 countries by my book (26 for John - because we crossed over into Myanmar for one afternoon and drove through Slovakia on our way to Vienna)

24 is a better number to work with and so although I am still waiting for Hong Kong and Hungary I have place holders for them until it arrives. (I received China a while back ago.)

Patches from 22 countries

I have had a custom framed print where I love the frame itself but detested the print inside and have been trying to find a replacement for years.  It turns out that it is such a odd shape that it has been impossible for me to find something with the exact dimensions.  When we moved in and put the print back up on the wall, I practically cringed but as I conceived of this project I was grateful to have intact to complete the vision I was aiming for.

I considered fabric patchwork background and even got my sewing machine ready at one point and decided (with the insistence of John) that perhaps patchwork would be too busy and the patches would be lost in the patterns.  I played around with the idea of using colored card stock scrapbooking paper but then ultimately decided that the print I disliked so much would be the best background after all.  It's monochromatic and plain enough with only the impression of architectural outlines that I can get away with laying bright textured fabric on top.

I divided up the canvas 3 x 8 to accommodate all my patches using black ribbon and when I ran out black I used light turquoise, until I ran out of that one and used the darker one.  Fortunately, being an avid collector of ribbons and other crafty things I didn't have to go to the store and purchase anything for this project.

I did a very large weave of the ribbons that you might not be able to tell unless you were looking but I thought it necessary for some added dimension.

Ribbon or scrap paper?

Ribbon won

Glued and quietly awaiting Hungary and Hong Kong before being re-framed

I will post the final product in the next few days once the two remaining patches arrive and get added on.
Good Night - YAWN

Love comes in breakfast

scrambled eggs with cheese and chili verde with a toasted everything bagel with labneh

Being out of work has it's perks.  I wake up in the morning and put on a pot of coffee for the both of us.  Because I tend to be a morning person I am up earlier than both John and Socrates and leave them to snooze a little bit more.  Socrates sleeps in as long as whoever is in bed with him, and it's so cute!

Although most mornings John and I work on breakfast together, this morning it was all him.  In fact, this was a special order breakfast for me because he just had himself a bowl of cereal.

So some inside info on my breakfast:  We have stopped buying cream cheese and only using labneh instead.  It's got an identical texture and almost is nearly tasteless, so takes other flavors very well. I alternate between labneh with fresh sliced tomatoes or honey apple butter.  I have seen labneh being described as yogurt or yogurt cheese, but it would be better described as being most similar to soft cream cheese.

My brother in law, who is Lebanese, introduced us to labneh a while back ago and it was only recently that it has been a staple in our kitchen.  We eat it almost on a daily basis since there are a variety of ways to eat it.  As of now we have only used it as a spread (like cream cheese) and as a dip (with olive oil, garlic, and lemon juice), but I am going to try making a cupcake filling with it sometime soon.

It's delicious and we highly recommend it.

Thanks for breakfast, husband!  It was delish!
I'm Pinteresting now...
Find me here.

Oh em Gee!

How am I supposed to leave the house now?

I have plans today to go to Julie's and play with the kids (and also spend time with one of my dearest friends) but now that I am pinteresting it's going to be hard to tear myself away from the computer.

Maybe high speed internet isn't the best thing that money can buy.  Maybe it should be so slow that we find ourselves too frustrated to be sitting in front of the computer all day.

I need to get out today anyway for DMV.  It's official now.

I got my SS card with my new name!  Now that my SS card has LOFTON as my last name I can go get my drivers license changed too.

It only took a year and a half.

I feel a bit fragmented today.  Short thoughts...It's like I AM bitly.
Lean on one another
I am suffering through some pretty bad allergies right now so I didn't post yesterday like I wanted to.  I am heavily congested and having massive sneezing fits all day.  I was terrified that I would sneeze so hard that I would have bodily fluids splashing everyone across the pews yesterday so I took an allergy pill and fought drowsiness instead.

Not sure if you are in the KNOW but you can do a search based on your zip code and find the pollen count in your area.  Click here if you are as curious.  I'm not sure if it will help you better plan your day or provide enough information for how you will schedule or conduct your day but nonetheless, it is interesting.

So, yesterday we went to a later service hoping for a different experience and we certainly did get one.

The pews were so packed that even though we got there on time we had no choice but to sit in the front of the church where there were only a few sporadic seats still and the only two that we can find together.

The minister was different, the choir was different, the music different and the overall impression and vibe was also very different.

During the 'meet and greet' time a long time member of the group explained that the later service was more "boisterous" and I felt that it was a perfect word to describe the pace of the service.  The energy was less contemplative and instead much livelier, although I personally found it to be equally inspiring.

The service started with a compete read of a children's book about segregation called Freedom's Summer.
The reader shed a few tears while storytelling and it also moved me to tears and I found it a very smart way to engage the audience particularly because there were lots of children in the congregation at that point  (the children are later ushered to their own classes in another building) and thought it was an important reminder to be open minded, to value friendships, to look within and to be generous with one another.


John and I left the church hand in hand and I thought back to an earlier thought I had while driving to church.

"Maybe it's less about going to 'church' and more about getting up and getting ready to go to something bigger than ourselves together." I contemplated out loud.

He nodded in agreement.

The UU church is more community oriented and less "religious" I am slowly beginning to realize.  I find comfort in this and it's stance on universal acceptance is refreshing.

I have found a place that I can philosophically agree with and that can co-exist in my lifestyle and spiritual goals.  It does not bombard me with expectations or values that I do not agree with.  Ironically, I think that it's lack of religious dogma also makes us uncomfortable since we both grew up in devout practicing homes and churches.  I am hoping that in continuous attendance that we will find an organic transition into the community where we can contribute and participate comfortably.

As of now it feels too early to really make an commitment but so far I have a good feeling about that church and it's members.  The people seem so nice and caring.  It inspires me to be the same.  Starting the week enveloped in that sort of energy will hopefully carry me and give me strength and courage to conduct myself in the best way possible.

John and I both have job interviews today in the City today...

Fingers crossed that something works out soon...
Gratitude
Today John and I went to church together.

It's a new church for us (and new kind of church) and although we have not decided if this is the one we will settle into I think it was a great one to start with.

We went to the early service so we are going to try the later service next week. It's not a very large congregation so we are thinking perhaps there might be more people that come to the later service.

The Minister was very nice and had a really nice, clear, confident and kind voice so it was very easy to feel comfortable and at at ease during the sermon.

It felt really good to get up to go to church this morning and I am really hoping that we will continue to attend.

Today's sermon was about gratitude.

It was a very meaningful thought to start off the week with and one I will try to remember as we go through our own personal struggles.

As I reflect upon our last week however I can think of a few things I am thankful for.

Socrates had two teeth removed and was very groggy and in pain for about 2 days.  It was quite scary but necessary to do and I can tell he is so much happier now that he is no longer in pain.

Even though John and I still have not found jobs yet I am so grateful that he is by my side and that we can encourage each other to stay strong and persistent.

I am so grateful that I have a son who is healthy and bright and very thoughtful and kind.

I am also incredibly grateful that we are surrounded and loved by our family and friends and that they continue to support us in all our endeavors even though they might not always agree.
Our House Talks and goes BUMP in the night
It's been a full two weeks since we have moved into our house.  Sure, it's new to us but it's an old house.

I've done just the tiniest bit of research on the house and it looks like it was built in 1914.  We are in a sub-division called Adam's Point and it includes the historical Grand Lake Theater and Lake Merritt.


It's a nice diverse area where we have been approached by neighbors to introduce us to their dogs and a guy who saw me struggle helping John bring in heavy furniture and offered his time and strength.  I have gone out two mornings in the bitter cold for a walk around the 3 mile long perimeter of the Lake.

It's been quite nice but...

I hear scurrying around the house or creeping up stairs when it can't possibly be any of us (including Socrates).

John and Socrates will be in the back room whereas I will be in the front part of the house when suddenly I hear an animal (like a dog or cat) scurrying around me but only for like 5 steps.  When I turn in the direction of the sound it has disappeared and I called out to find out where John and Socrates are.

The other night John was out with friends and Socrates and I were snuggled up on the couch watching movies on the tellie when I heard steps sidle beside the couch and I jumped up thinking an opossum snuck into the house. There was nothing there.

One of the earlier occurances was in the dead of the night.  Socrates and I both heard something creep up the stairs (from the basement where there is only our laundry facilities) and on high alert Socrates started growling while I was busy elbowing John to wake up. The steps were deliberate and slow as if someone was trying to be quiet and taking their time to take each step up.  I was certain someone was breaking into our house.  John turned on the lights and stomped around only to find that the door downstairs was still locked and nobody was there.  Even still, Socrates was in full protection mode and barking wholeheartedly for another 2 or 3 minutes before John had to come back and reassure him that all was well.

Truthfully, I originally wanted to convince John that the culprit was in fact the mischievous looking cat that hangs out around the house, but I lost that argument a long time ago when we realized there is just no way that the cat could come in and out of the house.  Also, the footsteps we are hearing are too heavy handed to be a cat.  Infact, in order to calm me down he took a flashlight and climbed up to the attic and claimed that there was a mouse and some old animals droppings.  The next day he climbed back again with rat poison and strategically placed them, confident that we have solved the problem.

So now we come to last night where I finally think I might have John as perplexed as myself.  Although he won't admit that it bothers him I am sure it is lingering in the back of his mind.

At exactly 3:30 AM, the computer in the next room turned on by itself.  I heard the Windows start up sound go off loud and clear.  Socrates and I both woke up and was on high alert once again.  I fought the urge to wake John up but found my elbow jerking him awake with my eyes glued to the door.  At the same time there were creaks and groans surrounding us and John immediately said that it must be critters on the roof.

"Did you hear that?"  I whispered.
"Yeah, it will take time for the rat to eat the poison and then die."
"Huh?  I mean your computer just turned on." I said as I was overcome with the tension I felt as I realized that the scampering sounds was not stopping.
Sleepily John shook himself awake and shook his head in disagreement.
"No, that can't be.  I turned my computer off before I went to sleep."

Even though I was half terrified I found I suddenly had to go to the bathroom and couldn't hold it.  I gathered all my courage to cross the room I heard the computer turn on.  I climbed out of the bed and practically ran to the bathroom but couldn't help but to look into John's designated office and found that the green light indicating that the computer was indeed on and shining brighter than ever in the darkness of the room.

Thankfully John verified the same when he also found himself needing to visit the bathroom after myself.  Somehow we both fell asleep and today we are both confused and unable to answer what is going on in this house.

So far I only know that the previous tenants were two men who seems to have had a moving out sale back in September.  The house was built in 1914, and our landlord had lived here for a decade, although I'm not sure when that was.

Somehow, the fact that our landlord had lived here with his family for over a decade is comforting but I want to ask him if he has experienced the same things while living here.  Would that be weird?

There is definitely something here that goes BUMP in the night...

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5/16/2012 3:27:13 PM