GO TO BLOGSPOT. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA
Sorry guys, I'm moving the blogs over to blogspot. This will stay here. I will use it for all my pictures. But I'm having issues with bandwidth. Sorry. You can slam me in the comments. OH! Did you hear that? YES you can post comments. And you can even be anonymous. OH BOOYAH. So kindly bugger off. Anyhow, go
here.
IRATE MALLORY!
Those of you who know me well know that I can, at times, be a little cranky. And generally, I have a decent reason. And this definitely qualifies as a good reason!
I sent my laptop away 2 weeks ago (April 29th, in fact) so Dell could fix it. My computer is 8 months old, so the fact that I needed it fixed to begin with made me see red, but whatever. So I finally received info saying that the part I needed fixed is not covered under warranty. 'Mkay. Tell me why. They said it isn't covered because of "spillage". Which is complete crap and I know it, so we ask that they prove evidence that there was "spillage" thus making my warranty null and void. They say they can't. I'm sorry, what? You are telling me that my thousand dollar computer can't be fixed under warranty, but you can't provide ANY proof that you aren't lying to me? Seriously?
So then, when we asked that they just nevermind this shit and send it back, they said there would be an $100+ charge for shipping even though two weeks ago I was told that it was F.R.E.E. 'Mkay. So what you are telling me is that you're claiming that my computer has a problem with it that is IMPOSSIBLE, and that I need to pay for it, and if I say I don't want the work done then you're going to charge me for something that was promised to me was free.
Oh My Lillies. What could I do? I gave them my credit card number and am going to be charged $260 to fix something that I know isn't wrong with it! Is there anything I can do? Does someone know where I can complain about this and actually get a response? I am thoroughly let down by Dell. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advanced...
Mother's Day (I Love You Mom)
If there is one thing I have in life, it's regrets. But who doesn't, right? But one of the biggest regrets in my life, hands down, is not taking the time when I had it to get to know my mom better.
One of the riskiest things I've ever done in my entire life was move out here to the East Coast. I have never regretted that decision. I have never been happier. I have grown so much in the short time I've been here and continue to grow every single day. I am a much healthier person both inside and out. That being said, it's also a strange, sad feeling. I'm no longer in the same town let alone same state as her. I am not even in the same region as her (she's a proud Mid-West Mama and I am an East Coast Gal). I'm no longer just a phone call away. I can't see her whenever I please anymore. In fact, just to see her I would have to set it all up, call ahead, take a plane, call a cab, take time away from work, etc. I've never been through this before. Moving to NY/NJ is the furthest I've ever been from her (and my dad, for that matter).
For those who know me personally, my mom and I have had numerous ups and downs and have had a somewhat turbulent relationship especially in the most recent years. I think I took for granted that she would always just be right there next to me and we would one day just magically be fine without ever having to work on anything. But I love my mom - she is probably one of the strongest women I know. She is amazingly intelligent and quite quick-witted. She doesn't take crap from anyone and can hold her own in any crowd. I just regret not getting to know her as a friend. I fought so much with the "mom" layer of her that I never tried the "actual person" side that is beneath the "mom" layer. (To be honest, I didn't even know there was different layers to being a mom until recently. The "mom" side of me is quite different than "Mallory"). Right now, I would give just about anything to sit at the kitchen table with my mom, drinking Diet Coke, both of us with a cat on our lap, reading the Chicago Tribune. I suppose I always took for granted that we always had "tomorrow" to fix the stuff that was wrong.
Where did tomorrow go to?
MacBook Pro, Come To Momma!
So here's the scoop - I just watched FedEx take my laptop away. It's being returned to Dell for 7-10 days....however freakin' long it takes so they can fix the numerous issues with it. I don't care if it's gone for a month, as long as it comes back feeling better! EXTRA BONUS: I get to use my amazing boyfriend's MacBook Pro. Woot! Anyways....
One issue was the power cord....it would say, "Plugged In, Not Charging" Well, ain't THAT helpful! Why would they even have functionality like that? What good does that do?! For the last few months I could tinker with it and move it a little and it would finally say, "Plugged In, Charging" and all would be good. Well then last week, it stopped being able to be fiddled with and just wouldn't charge no matter how many times I cussed at it and no matter how much I cried. I sat in a corner, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth mumbling something like, "It just wont charge, why won't it just charge..." Nick finally just took the laptop away from me...
The other two issues are supposedly related. For a few weeks now my computer will shut itself down and reboot itself. It would never do it while I was actively using it; only when it was sitting idle. And it would do it at all times of the day. It was very frustrating. But at the same time, my laptop was over-heating. Sometimes my touchpad mouse thing would get so hot it would hurt to touch it with my fingers! I kept saying that I would go and get a cooling thing that attaches to a port on your laptop and it runs fans underneath the machine to keep things cool...but Nick was right when he said that yes, it would cool it down, but it wouldn't fix the internal problem. So Nick contacted Dell to bitch to them that this computer is 7 months old and there serious issues with it and yadda yadda and they told us that the system has a built-in safeguard thing that when the computer starts to get too hot, it will restart the system in hopes that it will try to cool itself down. Yea, THAT DOESN'T WORK DELL. In fact, I think it makes it worse, because even sitting idle for hours my computer still is VERY hot to the touch. A.N.N.O.Y.I.N.G.
So there we go. That's my story of annoyance. Why am I whining to you all? Mainly because even though we actually have 5 computers in this house, I may not update the blog with writing or pictures very often until I get my Dell back. Or maybe I'll update more often, who knows. Just wanted ya to know in advance I may be M.I.A.
Unless I can steal the MacBook Pro....
Two HUGE Remodeling Projects - $200 Not Fighting The Entire 3+ Months We've Lived Together - Priceless
There are perks to growing up in an old Victorian home that your parents spent forever (and a day) remodeling. You learn how to do a lot of odd household stuff. Of course, this meant that it turned me into somewhat of a tomboy, but I'm learning to embrace it. I love doing home remodeling type stuff...and Nick is indulging me and is letting me hack away at our house.
So we repainted everything last weekend and this weekend, I decided - up come the carpets. We had no idea what was underneath. That didn't deter me, though - that god awful blue shit (that you can clearly see in the pictures) HAD. TO. GO. It was terrible. I'm not really sure how Nick lived with it for so long. We agreed that if sanding and/or staining needed to be done, that it wouldn't be a big deal.
Knowing that it would be breaking 90 degrees on Saturday AND Sunday, we embarked this project on Friday when the temperature wouldn't send me into major crank bitch mode. With Deacon in bed, we made our incision. I pull up and see.......(Bum Baaa DUUUUUMMMMM) (that was my attempt at climactic music) beautiful....original hardwood.....floors. I was elated! I love hardwood floors. Who in their right mind would cover hardwood floors up? Ohh, right....if a section of the floor is in really terrible shape. I came down from my high pretty quickly....
So we worked into the night ripping up the carpet and padding, removing tack boards, yanking up staples. And then we repainted the bottom trim boards where the carpet was covering. But in all the time we spent removing carpet - we realized that there was no ugly deformation that they covered up. There was no spot of nastiness. There was nothing wrong with the floors. So yes, they did cover up perfect floors with carpet!! Why on Earth would they cover up such beauty?
So our bedroom is now officially our sanctuary. I love the way it turned out. It is warm, inviting, and comfortable. It took two weekends to complete it, but it was worth it. And as my title informs, we never fought throughout the entire time. We haven't fought at all, not once, since I've been here. But we spend most of our time in here as it is, and now it's seriously the best room in our house. I'm trying to figure out what to tackle next in our sweet little home.
Watch out, deck....I'm coming for you...
Things I Love So Much That I Want To Have Its Babies Round 2
Here we go again, folks...Round Two!
* T J Maxx: How have I never learned of this amazing gem until now? Have you been to this store?! It is amazing! Nick was in dire need of more dress shirts. And his mom suggested this store. Having never been to one before, I didn't really know what to expect. WELL! Let me tell you...you get name brand stuff at such discounts it should be illegal. We got Nick four dress shirts (Calvin Klein, Van Heusen, Perry Ellis, and Kenneth Cole, by the way....not to name drop or anything) that would have totaled $203.96. But because of some super mega contract with T J Maxx, we paid $59.96. We paid 75% less! How freaking awesome is that?!
* Cocoa Butter: My son has mild eczema (for those of you not in the know, it's an ugly word that just means 'dry skin'). He developed it last year and we were given a small expensive cream of stereoidal medicine. And when I say expensive, I mean $99 dollars for .75 ounces. It was flipping retarded. Anyhow, all that money, and It. Didn't. Work. But I kept using it thinking that maybe it took a long time for it to kick in and come on, it cost me $99, it HAD to work. Then when I moved 3 months ago, I couldn't find it. So I grabbed just some random lotion in Nick's cabinet. And jumping jesus on a toothpick, Deke's eczema was virtually GONE in a day. I ended up finding the steroidal crap again in a box, but I've used just plain 'ol $2.89 Johnson & Johnson Shea & Cocoa Butter Baby Lotion ever since. I should take pictures....it's amazing. It feels like actual skin again!
* FreshAire Paints: As you all know, we recently painted. And I mentioned that I bought paint that was Zero-VOC Paint. No fumes, no odor, and no ozone killing gases being emitted to the air. But Freshaire also uses 100% recycled materials for the can and the can is recyclable when you are done. 75% recycled fiber material is used for the can’s label, the label is printed with soy ink. Another innovation is that the paint chips are also completely recyclable as well being made from recycled materials. As far as I know, only Freshaire allows you to recycle actual sample paint chips. Could this get any better?!
Now if only they sold FreshAire at T J Maxx....
These People Need To Be Fired
Nick and I decided weeks ago that we were going to paint our bedroom. He has a vintage wrestling poster that is kinda retro at the same time and is in the colors of red, black, and white. So I had decided weeks ago that the room would coordinate around that poster, meaning like an art deco theme with geometric shapes in red, white, and black. But at the last freakin' minute, I had cold feet. So, the whole project was put on hold until I could get my act together.
So we went to the hardware store and then to Home Depot to study some paint booklets. Which is when I began to mix colors and shades and trying to see what fit. But while sifting through the huge mountain of booklets, I noticed some of the awful names they have come up with to describe these colors. I mean, what are they thinking?!
Seriously Bad Names:
Navajo White - A reference only my parents will laugh at
Quiet Veranda - In case you're wondering what color a quiet veranda embodies, it's yellow.
Pebbled Path - A very ugly pastel greenish/brown.
Fossil Butte - I don't really have a joke for this, it just makes me smile...
Deep Smoke Signal - As opposed to a shallow one?
Train Smoke Signal - Trains make smoke signals? I thought it just randomly spewed out smoke.
Flint Smoke Signal - What is up with all the smoke signals?!
Country Club - Isn't this kind of rude, insinuating that every country club is this ugly of a brown?
Manhattan Mist - Is Manhattan's mist any more colorful than every other town's?
Milestone - Aren't milestones happy occasions? Like birthdays, graduations, new babies? Well, not according to Benjamin Moore! They have the color as the most drab depressing grey.
Eggnog - It's just a straight up cream color! No specks of vanilla bean at all! So guess what - it's not Eggnog! Poser!
Mardi Gras - Wow, it's pretty cool that they were able to capture the color of areolas, glittery beads, vomit, and police lights! It's a reddish/pink, by the way.
Queen Elizabeth's Saddle - WTF?
Magic Spell - I was envisioning a purpleish color like Merlin, but it's actually a pink/grey. Which I can see, kinda. Like the smoke that magicians always use, ya know?
Breakfast Blend - Hmm, painting your walls the combo of toast, bacon, Cheerios, and a grapefruit. Yummy. No wonder it's a muddy brown.
Single Mother - No joke. It was in a nursery color section of one of the booklets. I don't know what they were thinking!
Off-White - Probably my favorite color name of them all. Out of all the ridiculous names they've come up with, you almost feel bad for this one. I imagine that when Home Depot closes its doors at night, Swan Wing and Innocence just beat the hell out of it.
So those were pretty bad, right? But at least the names made sense for the final color, right? Well the following make no sense at all!
Lime Juice - Thinking a green? Or at least something that is close to a green? WRONG! It's a creamy white, almost beige. M'kay....
Wine Frost - Well, I thought a muted red color. Oh, you did too? WRONG! It's a blue/green!
Fox Hooves - You thought of a tan color, or maybe a black? WRONG! A beautiful light pastel purple. Figure that one out.
Raspberry Mousse - Red, right? Maybe pink? WRONG! Obnoxious neon purple!
Purple Haze - It's gotta be purple right? It has purple right in the title! WRONG! It's in the grey family! Not even close to purple!
Blue Fox - After the purple incident, I still had high hopes....so we're thinking blue, right? WRONG! It's green!
Dreaming Of The Sun - Thinking something from the yellow family? WRONG! Okay, how about something from the grey family since we're dreaming of the sun? WRONG! It's pink!
Whew! Those made no sense! Well, after looking at all the optimistic cutesy names, I had to puke. So I think I should write Benjamin Moore and give them a list of their names that I've changed for them:
Loveable - "Undesireable"
Crazy For You - "No longer crazy for you because now I'm crazy for my coworker"
Camouflage - "Conspicuous"
Blushing Bride - "Just wait 'til you have to wake up every day next to him"
Cuddly - "I need some space"
Deep In Thought - "A.D.H.D."
Quiet Moments (found in a nursery color booklet) - "Haha, no more quiet moments. EVER."
And, I SWEAR to Buddha, that the following colors are the same damn shade....
Hawthorne Yellow
Cream Yellow
Light Yellow
Steam
Anique Lace
Hepplewhite Ivory
Windham Cream
Philadelphia Cream
Montgomery White
Jicama
Vapor
Subtle
So in case anyone is curious, the colors we finally settled on were Elm, Hunting Coat Red, and Antique Lace. It looks beautiful with the poster and the room looks warm and inviting. We bought the fume less no odor paint so it was safe for Deacon to be around us while painting and his running commentary was hilarious throughout the weekend. I just have one worry, though...
...think Benjamin Moore will ever see my site and track my IP address down and suffocate me by stuffing paint rollers in my mouth?
I Have Proof That I Am Evil
Now let me first say this...I know that a lot of you reading this are Catholic. None of what is about to be said is supposed to be hurtful or to be taken seriously. I'm a big cranky girl who was just retardedly stunned. I love freedom of religion and applaud those who have faith and all that stuff. Seriously, I do. So nobody hate mail me, okay? Ya know I love all you guys.
So guess what this little Agnostic/Atheist (I haven't figured out what I am. It's one of the two) did on the Saturday before Easter? I went to a Catholic Mass. The good news? Deacon was the most well behaved little boy in the world. So good, in fact, that the people around us commented about how perfect he was for the entire 2 hours. The bad news? I went to a Catholic Mass for 2 hours - did you not catch that the first time?!!
Nick and his littlest brother Mike only go to church on Easter and Christmas to pacify their mom. But Nicks little brother Joe goes to church every Sunday and if asked, proudly states he's Roman Catholic. He's the good son. Anyhow, Nick's mom asked me for the weeks leading up to this if I was sure I wanted to go because she knows I have no faith and that I have MAJOR issues with organized religion. And I kept assuring her that I would be fine and that it was only one service, etc etc. Well! I'm not even sure I know where to start!
We walked into a dark church. Which scared the crap out of my kid. And did my fabulous boyfriend WARN me that we would be walking into a dark church? Um, NO. Then this procession of people in white robes come walking down the aisle with lit candles singing half in english and half in some other latin thing. WTF? Nick whispers to me, "Oh fuck, did we walk in on a cult meeting?" Can somebody please explain to me what the mother heck all that was about? Then this guy started singing (which on a total side note, the guy singing reminded me a lot of David's singing voice. Like to where I had to squint to make sure it wasn't him until I realized that he sang better than that guy does. And David's reading this, so I will shut up now). But this guy wouldn't stop singing! But he lit the people in the white robes' candles who then walked all over the church to light our candles (ohh, how Rent sounding!). And surprisingly, the lit candles didn't freak Deacon out like I thought they would. But, the candles were just the start of the grueling process.
While having our candles lit, we prayed. Then we read, like, the entire book of Genesis. Then we sang. Then we prayed. Then we read from Exodus. Then we sang. Then we prayed. Then we read from Isaiah. Then we sang. Then we prayed. Then we read from Ezekiel. Then we sang. Then we prayed. Then we read from Matthew. Then we sang. Then we prayed. Then we read from Revelations. Then we sang. Then we prayed.
Are you freaking kidding me?
This is when I noticed something quite peculiar. My candle was burning at an alarming rate. And I looked down the line at my family...and their's were barely dripping! It was then I realized I am evil. I nudged Nick after I realized what was happening and spilled white wax on my pants (brand new black pants, nonetheless) that unfortunately took the shape of an intimate fluid. Think Monica and Bill here, people.
After an eternity and a half we were able to blow out our candles . Then we had to baptise some people, confirm some people, and give communion (which I learned that we evil non-believers are not allowed to participate in). But then the Father took this bristle brush and dipped it in Holy water and threw it at us! It got right in my eye! What the hell did he do that for? Deacon looked right at me with a disgusted look on his face and wiped it off his forehead. He was not amused with water being thrown at us either.
Then we prayed some more. Then we kneeled. Then we stood up. Then we prayed. And then we kneeled again. Then we stood up. And prayed. And then we kneeled. And then we stood up. Then we prayed. Oh jumpin' jesus on a toothpick, seriously? No wonder all you Catholics are thin. I was exhausted! Great cardio work, though. Seriously. One less day I have to workout!
I'm leaving out all the boring stuff (like the blessing of the water, presentations of the lighted candles, renewal of baptismal promises, laying on of hands, etc) but there is one that I have to comment on. The litany of the saints. I swear to the high heavens after the 30th saint, he was just making them up. The names didn't stop! Several minutes later while the Father was still naming names Nick whispers to me, "and Sodom and Gomorrah and..." which of course made me audibly laugh. Great.
And then his mom tells me that Christmas mass is even longer. Fantastic.
I Really Suck At Writing New Shit, But I Come Bearing New Pics!!!
Okay, I know....I've been major slackin' in the blog writing category. I'm sorry....but we in the Marsico family are kinda busy these days! But I assure you I will be writing soon - I have enough blog material to last me until my bandwith allowance runs out. But as always, feel free to suggest any topics for me to rant on. As for the site, I am having issues with my counter, so it has been removed. It wasn't counting people, which was its job. So whatever. I really don't care either way. Secondly, you all have asked why am I not letting you post comments. I will say again that it isn't up to me, I'm not being the bad guy here. Shutterfly wants you as a member before you comment. And I understand you all don't want to sign up. I understand. Next blog site I will make sure ahead of time that my readers can comment. Anyone know of a blog site that even does that?! LiveJournal does, I think. I used to have a LJ, you'd think I'd remember! And you all seem to like the weather being posted, but I am NOT going to get everyone's zip codes and post your weather, too. Go get your own. I added new pictures of our most recent trip to the park. When the film reel starts, they are the first ones on. I will try to make sure that the newest pictures all go to the front first. I'm getting yelled at for the improper placement of new photos. Jeesh...I am cowtowing to my readers....what have I become!?! Anyhow, I have so many new pictures to crop and upload including our latest art project! Deacon is so crazy! How blessed are Nick and I to be able to raise such an amazing little guy??!Wow....seriously....what has happened to me....I'm sounding like an optimist with a good attitude.....what in Waldo's hell is Jersey doing to me!!??
*gasp* A Questionable Neighborhood?!
There is one thing about North New Jersey that I still can't wrap my mid-west farmland girl brain around - I haven't seen any impoverished, run - down, neglected homes. Hell, I haven't seen a single house in need of a paint job! And now that I am actually focusing on it, I haven't seen a single trailer! Nick has driven me all over the county (which is freakin' gigantic) and I have not, and I am being stone cold serious, seen anything less than perfection.
Every home is well maintained. Every home has a fence. Every home has 2.3 kids and is equipped with a hybrid in the driveway. I moved to an extremely wealthy area. Nick's family jokes that they are the poorest family in Bergen County. But if you uprooted them and threw them into Michigan, I hate to say this, but they would be one of the wealthier families. I can't really explain it why that would be - maybe it's because here we're so much closer to New York or that the cost of living is so much higher...but everyone here has money. And because everyone has money the neighborhoods here are amazing. And they have so many community activities available all the time! It's great for having a kid, let me tell you! But, this isn't the point. Point is, I finally found a questionable neighborhood.
We went on an adventure this weekend. We were in search of another item in Weird New Jersey. This time it was for the Gates of Hell located in Clifton. And getting there (which is always half the fun) I turned my head to look out the window and *GASP* I saw an apartment house that had boards in it's windows! I was almost excited. Nick thought I was losing my mind. I seriously still can't get over that besides the one house I haven't seen anything! The other houses in Clifton were all still nice, but not the absolute perfection I had been accustomed to. It was refreshing! I loved it! Again, Nick thought I had lost my mother effin' mind.
Now, I am not saying that I miss the "trailer trash" that I grew up with. I like going to the grocery store (here the popular ones are "Shop Rite" and "Stop & Shop") and seeing people fully and appropriately dressed and no Mt Dew in baby bottles. I don't miss the hillbilly redneck shitty grammar. I don't miss all the disgusting rust buckets that people drive since here in New Jersey your car must pass strict emission tests and other regulations in order to drive.
Do not inundate my email inbox with hate mail about me hating MI now and loving NJ more. I love MI. I had a deep long cry the other day about not living next to Lake Michigan. It's so strange for me not to be able to see it! And believe it or not, I do miss all the corn fields and apple orchards. There is ZERO agriculture here and it is still such a culture shock. And yes, I do miss my friends. It's weird not being able to hop in my Alero and drive down the road to see you all. Some of you I miss more than others (heehee) but I so miss my Mouth Haven peeps. And I keep getting messages asking when I'm coming home to visit and I keep getting people calling "dibs" on me and my time up there. I will make every attempt to see you all.
Well, maybe I will. If I like you. We'll see. Don't count on it.
Weird NJ
Two years ago, I received two awesome books from my ex for Christmas. They were "Weird Illinois" (as we were supposed to be moving there) and "Weird US". He got them for me because I was sickeningly addicted to "Weird Michigan" and had composed an entire list of places I wanted to go with him. Well, unfortunately, life happens and we got stinkin' crazy busy and never were able to get to any one of the places that were on my list.
Nick took the day off of work and we decided to make the most of it; both of the day off and of the absolutely gorgeous weather. We decided to head to a place in the "Weird US" book. We chose to go to a place in Alpine (about 10 minutes away) called Devil's Tower.
{Now, I must gush first that Alpine, New Jersey is not only home to Devil's Tower, but also home to so many celebrities that I could barely contain myself. Everyone from the Backstreet Boys to Britney Spears to Russell Simmons to Jay Z to Eddie Murphy to Patrick Ewing to Chris Rock....these houses are SO AMAZING I THINK I CAME A LITTLE. Every other car you pass is a limo. I stared down every human we passed trying to see if they were famous; and when they weren't, I glared at them. I probably should not be allowed to live so close to these people.}
Anyhow, Devil's Tower is this gigantic freaking tower that was built by an extremely old man for his beautiful young bride so she could she New York City from their home. Well, one night she looks up at the tower and sees her fabulous hubby fornicating with another young woman. The bride, being so distraught with sadness, threw herself off the tower...ending with her ultimate death. The husband buried her there and when he died, her body was removed. But apparently her soul still haunts the place.
All in all, the tower was awesome. Of course we brought the camera with us, but did we take a frickin' photo? Nope. It's ten minutes away, and I'm sure we'll be back again soon. I want to go at night. Halloween night. Or something. I don't know. I feel like a good scare right now. I wish scary movies today were good. They all suck. Anyone know of anything decent to watch that will scare the shit out of me? And if any one of you just tell me to 'watch the news' I swear I will murder you in your sleep.
So...um, who's gonna buy me "Weird NJ"?
So What About The Old Blog?
I have several on-going theme series (i.e. Razz &Jazz, Things I Love So Much That I Want To Have It's Babies, Bad Advertising) that I promise I will continue to update. More frequently, too....I promise. And I am solemnly swear to uphold my old bitchy rants and my harsh judgmental views of the dumb people in our society. I (for once!) have a lot of blog material right now....so strap yer boots on....
Here we go.