* Bring a healthy lunch
* Bring a healthy afternoon snack
"A torn jacket is soon mended but hard words bruise the heart of a child." ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
POSITIVE TALK
For positive parenting, the words we use with our children play a big part in shaping their attitudes, their thoughts and their lives.
The other day in the grocery store I overheard an embarrassed mother trying to get her little one under control by saying such things like "Shut up", "you're always so bad", "wait till I catch you you'll be sorry" and swear words and insults. Although I was embarrassed for the mother, I felt for the for that little child, seeing in action a supposedly responsible adult destroying his self-esteem, giving him the belief that he's a bad person.
That's a really extreme example. But seeing things like that makes me become very aware of the words I use in all my interactions. Children are so vulnerable that even without realizing it we can damage them by using negative words and phrases.
It's easy to fall into the habit of using a really negative word when a gentler alternative is possible. All children do things from time to time that are inappropriate and it's necessary to tell them so. Sometimes they do things repeatedly. It might be hitting a sibling, or refusing to go to bed on time for instance. What if without thinking we got into a habit of saying, "I hate that you're always picking on your sister." It's an appropriate thing to tackle - our child needs to know that such behavior is inappropriate! But there are two problems with that sentence. "Hate" is a very intense word! And "always" suggests to our child that we don't believe he can change for the better.
What if we simply replaced this sentence with a less negative one, such as: "It irritates me when you pick on your sister."
If we can add something positive, like: "I know you can do better because usually you two get along so well," then that is even better!
So reducing the power of the negative by choosing words that are less intense is a good start to a calmer household.
Here are some intense negative words, with some suggestions of my favorite alternatives:
Hate --- Dislike
Furious / Livid --- Annoyed / Irritated
Mad --- Displeased
Disgusted --- Surprised
Another way to approach this is to turn things around on their head completely! Like this:
Before I would say:
"I'm so depressed today."
Instead I can choose:
"I'm not as happy as I could be today."
Or:
"I'm in a foul temper."
Becomes:
"I'll calm down again in a little while."
Or even a simple thing like:
"I'm freezing cold."
Can change to:
"I could be warmer!"
Changing your vocabulary that way makes it possible to focus on the positive, which just seems to bring more positive things - more warmth, calm and happiness - not only into your life but your child's also.
Finally, what about enhancing the positive words you already use with your children to make them not just nice but FANTASTIC?
"Well done," could become "That was impeccable."
"Nice" becomes "Awesome."
"Determined" - "Unstoppable."
"Great" - "Phenomenal."
You can have great fun with this idea - you can expand your child's vocabulary and share some wonderful emotions that positive words inspire in both of you!
I would like to leave you with one of my favorite passages to meditate on:
"Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things. ~ Philippians 4:8
A SPECIAL THANK -YOU
We would like to take this time to say a special thank-you to all of our families and friends that helped in our cookie fundraiser. Thanks to your support and efforts, we were able to raise $352.00 for our new playground!
There are many ways in which I am a different person today than I was yesterday (or in years passed). Those differences range from physical to intellectual to emotional to spiritual changes. My hope is that I will yet be different in some respects tomorrow (and in however many more days the Lord provides) than I am today. The fact I am not the person I was yesterday (if those changes are positive ones) is a sign of growth. The desire to be different tomorrow than I am today is a sign I am not content with my stature before God and recognize the need to continue growing. Today I am a BETTER EXAMPLE for others than I was in the past and I do pray that I will become an even BETTER EXAMPLE in the future. However, in the midst of realizing all of this, I must make certain the "measuring rod" by which I continue to compare my life is an accurately established standard.
As Paul recognized eyes of others were looking to him, he stated. . .
"Be imitators of me, AS I AM OF CHRIST." ( 1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV)
Though Paul knew he needed to live his life as an example for others, we should note where he ultimately directed the focus; to CHRIST! In so far as he imitated CHRIST, that is how he wanted others to follow the example of his life.
Even as the writer of Hebrews exhorted those to whom he wrote to take note of the example of faith among their leaders ( Hebrews 13:7), he went on to state. . .
"JESUS CHRIST is the SAME YESTERDAY and TODAY and FOREVER." ( Hebrews 13:8 ESV)
This is why CHRIST is where our focus ought to be anchored. In JESUS we will find the consistent standard for measuring our life. Though the world's standards continue to shift, JESUS is the standard transcending all of time because with Him there is no change or need for it!
Don't be discouraged when you find you don't quite measure up. It is good to notice. However, be encouraged when you see progress is being made as you surrender your life more and more to the LORD.
Let us all keep our eyes fixed on JESUS as the standard of comparison for the continuation of our growth. JESUS CHRIST is the constant and most consistent standard for how life can be lived in a God glorifying manner in this earthly realm. There is NO BETTER EXAMPLE than JESUS to model our lives after and thus become a BETTER EXAMPLE ourselves. May we continue paralleling our life to the standard found in JESUS so that with each day we can become more and more like Him.
Have a great day MATURING AFTER THE PATTERN OF CHRIST!
Carl
(Taken from teEn-Mail, Berryville Church of Christ http://teenmailbiblestudy.org)