grafton 001.jpg
grafton 001.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 006.jpg
grafton 006.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 003.jpg
grafton 003.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 024.jpg
grafton 024.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 022.jpg
grafton 022.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 026.jpg
grafton 026.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 032.jpg
grafton 032.jpg 2006-02-16

grafton 033.jpg
grafton 033.jpg 2006-02-16

fredlindas 024.jpg
fredlindas 024.jpg 2006-01-28

fredlindas 016.jpg
fredlindas 016.jpg 2006-01-28

kids wacko 005.jpg
kids wacko 005.jpg 2006-01-01

kids wacko 006.jpg
kids wacko 006.jpg 2006-01-01

kids wacko 017.jpg
kids wacko 017.jpg 2006-02-15

kids wacko 027.jpg
kids wacko 027.jpg 2006-02-16

kids wacko 033.jpg
kids wacko 033.jpg 2006-02-18

sea world 09 054.jpg
sea world 09 054.jpg 2009-05-06

sea world 09 137.jpg
sea world 09 137.jpg 2006-01-22

sea world 09 070.jpg
sea world 09 070.jpg 2009-05-06

sea world 09 074.jpg
sea world 09 074.jpg 2006-01-21

sea world 09 110.jpg
sea world 09 110.jpg 2006-01-22

spring 09 042.jpg
spring 09 042.jpg 2006-04-13

vacation 09 010.jpg
vacation 09 010.jpg 2009-05-04

vacation 09 025.jpg
vacation 09 025.jpg 2009-05-04

vacation 09 032.jpg
vacation 09 032.jpg 2009-05-04

vacation 09 013.jpg
vacation 09 013.jpg 2009-05-04

vacation 09 089.jpg
vacation 09 089.jpg 2009-04-30

vacation 09 091.jpg
vacation 09 091.jpg 2009-04-30

vacation 09 027.jpg
vacation 09 027.jpg 2006-01-14

vacation 09 033.jpg
vacation 09 033.jpg 2006-01-14

vacation 09 053.jpg
vacation 09 053.jpg 2006-01-14

vacation 09 078.jpg
vacation 09 078.jpg 2006-01-14

vacation 09 097.jpg
vacation 09 097.jpg 2009-05-03

vacation 09 079.jpg
vacation 09 079.jpg 2009-04-30

vacation 09 075.jpg
vacation 09 075.jpg 2006-01-16

cook.JPG
cook.JPG 2009-02-05

chef andrew 004.jpg
chef andrew 004.jpg 2006-01-06

chop.JPG
chop.JPG 2009-02-05

money.JPG
money.JPG 2009-02-05

guests.JPG
guests.JPG 2009-02-05

table.JPG
table.JPG 2009-02-05

aanda.JPG
aanda.JPG 2009-02-05

action.JPG
action.JPG 2009-02-05

andrew.JPG
andrew.JPG 2009-02-05

big.JPG
big.JPG 2009-02-05

beginning.JPG
beginning.JPG 2009-02-05

frear 018.jpg
frear 018.jpg 2006-01-01

frear 019.jpg
frear 019.jpg 2006-01-01

john.JPG
john.JPG 2009-02-05

frear 024.jpg
frear 024.jpg 2006-03-07

mom.JPG
mom.JPG 2009-02-05

frear 025.jpg
frear 025.jpg 2006-03-07

thetop.JPG
thetop.JPG 2009-02-05

three.JPG
three.JPG 2009-02-05

tires.JPG
tires.JPG 2009-02-05

rj.JPG
rj.JPG 2009-02-05

annaandrj.JPG
annaandrj.JPG 2009-02-05

top.JPG
top.JPG 2009-02-05

andrew.JPG
andrew.JPG 2009-02-05

all.JPG
all.JPG 2009-02-05

john.JPG
john.JPG 2009-02-05

munch.JPG
munch.JPG 2009-02-05

rj.JPG
rj.JPG 2009-02-05

pointing.JPG
pointing.JPG 2009-02-05

rj2.JPG
rj2.JPG 2009-02-05

this.jpg
this.jpg 2006-01-04

haircut 001.jpg
haircut 001.jpg 2006-01-31

bella.JPG
bella.JPG 2009-02-05

haircut 002.jpg
haircut 002.jpg 2006-01-31

isaiah.JPG
isaiah.JPG 2009-02-05

annapaint.JPG
annapaint.JPG 2009-02-05

bid.JPG
bid.JPG 2009-02-05

birds.JPG
birds.JPG 2009-02-05

bumpers.JPG
bumpers.JPG 2009-02-05

coaster.JPG
coaster.JPG 2009-02-05

coaster2.JPG
coaster2.JPG 2009-02-05

dragon.JPG
dragon.JPG 2009-02-05

friends.JPG
friends.JPG 2009-02-05

scared.JPG
scared.JPG 2009-02-05

misc stuff dec.jpg
misc stuff dec.jpg 2006-03-04

yoda.JPG
yoda.JPG 2008-12-30

kids.JPG
kids.JPG 2008-12-30

bk.JPG
bk.JPG 2008-12-30

kids.JPG
kids.JPG 2008-12-30

church xmas 08 008.jpg
church xmas 08 008.jpg 2006-02-09

andrwe tree.JPG
andrwe tree.JPG 2008-12-30

moms xmas 08 017.jpg
moms xmas 08 017.jpg 2006-01-27

anna.JPG
anna.JPG 2008-12-30

john.JPG
john.JPG 2008-12-30

dad.JPG
dad.JPG 2008-12-30

rj3.JPG
rj3.JPG 2008-12-30

quilt.JPG
quilt.JPG 2008-12-30

kids.JPG
kids.JPG 2008-12-30

final.JPG
final.JPG 2008-12-30

hats.jpg
hats.jpg 2006-02-10

mess1.jpg
mess1.jpg 2006-02-10

anna.JPG
anna.JPG 2008-12-30

boys.JPG
boys.JPG 2008-12-30

misc stuff dec 030.jpg
misc stuff dec 030.jpg 2006-03-04

misc stuff dec 009.jpg
misc stuff dec 009.jpg 2006-02-27

home Christmas 08 011.jpg
home Christmas 08 011.jpg 2006-03-06

wii.JPG
wii.JPG 2008-12-30

angel.JPG
angel.JPG 2008-12-30

misc stuff dec 036.jpg
misc stuff dec 036.jpg 2006-03-04

misc stuff dec 005.jpg
misc stuff dec 005.jpg 2006-02-24

misc stuff dec 014.jpg
misc stuff dec 014.jpg 2006-03-01

bellaandisasiah.jpg
bellaandisasiah.jpg 2008-12-30

annas bird 002.jpg
annas bird 002.jpg 2006-02-23

bailey 006.jpg
bailey 006.jpg 2006-01-29

homeschool 001.jpg
homeschool 001.jpg 2006-01-01

homeschool 016.jpg
homeschool 016.jpg 2006-01-01

homeschool 004.jpg
homeschool 004.jpg 2006-01-01

Bennington
pose.JPG 2009-01-01

Our welcome
Untitled-1.jpg 2009-01-01

ninja.JPG
ninja.JPG 2009-01-01

johnice.JPG
johnice.JPG 2009-01-01

annacat.JPG
annacat.JPG 2009-01-01

rjice.JPG
rjice.JPG 2009-01-01

kids.JPG
kids.JPG 2009-01-01

costumes.JPG
costumes.JPG 2009-01-01

mag.JPG
mag.JPG 2009-01-01

computer.JPG
computer.JPG 2009-01-01

bubbles 006.jpg
bubbles 006.jpg 2006-01-03

big.JPG
big.JPG 2009-01-01

indian ladder farms 013.jpg
indian ladder farms 013.jpg 2006-01-23

indian ladder farms 003.jpg
indian ladder farms 003.jpg 2006-01-23

kids.JPG
kids.JPG 2009-01-01

nys museum 007.jpg
nys museum 007.jpg 2006-02-12

nys museum 008.jpg
nys museum 008.jpg 2006-02-12

nys museum 010.jpg
nys museum 010.jpg 2006-02-12

nys museum 009.jpg
nys museum 009.jpg 2006-02-12

tao2.JPG
tao2.JPG 2009-01-01

rj.JPG
rj.JPG 2009-01-01

glasses 003.jpg
glasses 003.jpg 2006-02-16

didi party 023.jpg
didi party 023.jpg 2006-01-19

anna.JPG
anna.JPG 2009-01-01

andrewanddad.JPG
andrewanddad.JPG 2009-01-01

homeschool
didi party 018.jpg 2006-01-19

Living Room
didi party 015.jpg 2006-01-19

andrew.JPG
andrew.JPG 2009-01-01

nys museum 012.jpg
nys museum 012.jpg 2006-02-12

Green Hills CMA
miscellaneious 018.jpg 2006-01-18

apwskate.JPG
apwskate.JPG 2009-01-01

park and skating 003.jpg
park and skating 003.jpg 2006-02-18

school
didi party 019.jpg 2006-01-19

Gram
cowenesque lake 2008 070.jpg 2006-01-01

Anna and Libby
aandl.JPG 2009-01-01

delta lake 006.jpg
delta lake 006.jpg 2006-01-01

anna]-1.jpg
anna]-1.jpg 2009-01-01

My mom's house
cowenesque lake 2008 075.jpg 2006-01-02

cora-1.jpg
cora-1.jpg 2009-01-01

John and Matthew
cowenesque lake 2008 007.jpg 2006-01-09

delta lake 019.jpg
delta lake 019.jpg 2006-01-01

Bike Parade
delta lake 028.jpg 2006-01-03

delta lake 013.jpg
delta lake 013.jpg 2006-01-01

delta lake 004.jpg
delta lake 004.jpg 2006-01-01

Missionary Cottage
cowenesque lake 2008 010.jpg 2006-01-09

delta lake 042.jpg
delta lake 042.jpg 2006-01-03

jayden-1.jpg
jayden-1.jpg 2009-01-01

delta lake 037.jpg
delta lake 037.jpg 2006-01-03

rj-1.jpg
rj-1.jpg 2009-01-01

delta lake 030.jpg
delta lake 030.jpg 2006-01-03

delta lake 036.jpg
delta lake 036.jpg 2006-01-03

EH
beach 026.jpg 2008-08-22

EH
beach 028.jpg 2008-08-22

John and Brennon
beach 001.jpg 2008-08-22

My mama
beach 007.jpg 2008-08-22

maya.JPG
maya.JPG 2009-01-01

jonesgirls-1.jpg
jonesgirls-1.jpg 2009-01-01

treasure hunting
miscellaneious 050.jpg 2006-01-19

didi party 012.jpg
didi party 012.jpg 2006-01-01

didi party 009.jpg
didi party 009.jpg 2006-01-01

didi party 003.jpg
didi party 003.jpg 2006-01-01

didi party 006.jpg
didi party 006.jpg 2006-01-01

walking to the beach!
miscellaneious 041.jpg 2006-01-19

Anna and Dad!
miscellaneious 054.jpg 2006-01-19

Rock on!
miscellaneious 058.jpg 2006-01-20

RJ
miscellaneious 079.jpg 2006-01-20

me.JPG
me.JPG 2009-01-01

Hang ten!
miscellaneious 110.jpg 2006-01-20

algonquin.JPG
algonquin.JPG 2009-01-01

Cousin Camp
n825069486_701497_9734.jpg 2009-01-01

CC
n825069486_701505_305.jpg 2009-01-01

CC
n825069486_701561_5779.jpg 2009-01-01

Canada
shawn.JPG 2009-01-01

CC
n825069486_701495_1523.jpg 2009-01-01

shawn.jpg
shawn.jpg 2006-01-06

kinsman june 2008 086.jpg
kinsman june 2008 086.jpg 2006-02-02

kinsman june 2008 082.jpg
kinsman june 2008 082.jpg 2006-02-02

Anna and Libby BFF
miscellaneous 015.jpg 2008-05-03

The "Crick"
miscellaneous 008.jpg 2008-05-03

john.jpg
john.jpg 2009-01-01

In Ithaca
kinsman june 2008 047.jpg 2006-01-24

with ryan blair.jpg
with ryan blair.jpg 2009-01-01

Beaver Dam
100_4977.JPG 2008-05-23

Pymatuning Deer PArk
Untitled-20.jpg 2009-01-01

Anna and Abby
Untitled-1.jpg 2009-01-01

Cuddles
Untitled-3.jpg 2009-01-01

RJ
kinsman june 2008 019.jpg 2006-02-08

Miss Terry's pool!
kinsman june 2008 007.jpg 2006-02-04

again
Untitled-10.jpg 2009-01-01

The Sanders' horse!
Untitled-22.jpg 2009-01-01

Shooting with Mr. Ron
Untitled-9.jpg 2009-01-01

Liz and RJ
Untitled-5.jpg 2009-01-01

again
kinsman june 2008 086.jpg 2006-02-02

watching
kinsman june 2008 082.jpg 2006-02-02

deer park
Untitled-12.jpg 2009-01-01

lovin' Liz!
Untitled-23.jpg 2009-01-01

toy.jpg
toy.jpg 2008-04-15

giraffe.jpg
giraffe.jpg 2007-07-08

skink.JPG
skink.JPG 2008-02-17

hedge hog.jpg
hedge hog.jpg 2007-04-24

baboon.jpg
baboon.jpg 2008-04-05

group2.jpg
group2.jpg 2008-04-08

hippo.jpg
hippo.jpg 2006-10-28

mom and baby.jpg
mom and baby.jpg 2006-10-28

Anna and Christina
anna and c2.jpg 2008-03-21

again
anna and C.jpg 2008-02-21

andrew and josiah.jpg
andrew and josiah.jpg 2008-03-23

anna eggs.jpg
anna eggs.jpg 2008-03-23

cake2.jpg
cake2.jpg 2008-03-23

cake.jpg
cake.jpg 2008-03-23

Jesse and Josiah
j and j eggs.jpg 2008-03-23

rhodas fam.jpg
rhodas fam.jpg 2005-01-22

"The girls"
pics 001.jpg 2008-04-15

Aunt Bev
pics 007.jpg 2008-04-15

Tony, John, and Steyn
Untitled-3.jpg 2008-10-29

Frank VanDyk
pics 010.jpg 2008-04-15

Malawian toys
pics 004.jpg 2008-04-15

nyala with em.jpg
nyala with em.jpg 2008-04-08

lizards.jpg
lizards.jpg 2008-03-13

joke!.jpg
joke!.jpg 2006-01-06

rj.jpg
rj.jpg 2006-01-06

soccer2.jpg
soccer2.jpg 2006-01-06

soccer3.jpg
soccer3.jpg 2006-01-06

living.jpg
living.jpg 2008-02-22

gate.jpg
gate.jpg 2008-04-10

Our new washer...finally!
washer!.jpg 2008-03-03

My prayer closet
water tower.jpg 2008-04-14

view7.JPG
view7.JPG 2008-02-21

amdrew2.jpg
amdrew2.jpg 2008-03-05

john.jpg
john.jpg 2008-03-05

john2.jpg
john2.jpg 2008-03-05

kids.jpg
kids.jpg 2008-03-05

gate.jpg
gate.jpg 2008-03-05

kids4.jpg
kids4.jpg 2008-03-05

rj3.jpg
rj3.jpg 2008-03-05

all.jpg
all.jpg 2008-03-05

stickers.jpg
stickers.jpg 2008-03-03

rock.jpg
rock.jpg 2008-03-03

Silly
Untitled-1.jpg 2008-10-29

new 019.jpg
new 019.jpg 2008-04-14

sunset2.jpg
sunset2.jpg 2006-10-23

Springs of Wisdom
office.JPG 2008-02-21

Stuff we left behind... :(
new 024.jpg 2008-04-14

new 023.jpg
new 023.jpg 2008-04-14

new 029.jpg
new 029.jpg 2008-04-14

anna.jpg
anna.jpg 2008-02-21

henry.jpg
henry.jpg 2008-02-21

view from tower.jpg
view from tower.jpg 2008-02-21

weaving+factory+035.jpg
weaving+factory+035.jpg 2008-10-29

Andrew's stitches!
stitches2.jpg 2008-01-09

Andrew
tree3.jpg 2008-02-22

The friendly laundry room spider!
Untitled-1.jpg 2008-09-06

Bruiser at 4 months!
b-1.jpg 2008-09-06

Samsom at 4 months
Untitled-sam.jpg 2008-09-06

Tank at 4 months!
TankShawn.jpg 2008-03-03

Shadow...our only adult dog!
Shadow1.jpg 2008-02-07

We found this chameleon nest out back
baby cham7.jpg 2008-03-13

Anna
adw-1.jpg 2008-10-19

Jon baptizing the former witch
bap4.JPG 2008-02-21

Shawn talking with Emmanuel and uncle
n-1.jpg 2008-10-19

Henry clearing the yard at house 2
Henry4.jpg 2007-12-18

Aunt Bev's truck!
bevs truck.jpg 2008-02-20

Mulanje
rick 091.jpg 2008-01-15

Jon training pastors
ghc teach.jpg 2008-02-20

heather.jpg
heather.jpg 2007-12-25

john.jpg
john.jpg 2008-02-15

RJ
RJ-malawi-april 2008

Teaching a children's program
gama group.jpg 2008-02-21

Our kids and Zeke helped!
john group.jpg 2008-02-21

Getting ready to hike Mchiru!
sign.JPG 2008-02-17

Emmanuel and Andrew
eansa.JPG 2008-10-29

hyena and snake rocks.JPG
hyena and snake rocks.JPG 2008-02-17

the mosque
rick 135.jpg 2008-01-21

Emmanuel...former Muslim
rick 141.jpg 2008-01-21

church-1.jpg
church-1.jpg 2008-10-14

Jon baptizing Emanuel
e baptize3.jpg 2008-02-19

Doctoring
fix-3.jpg 2008-10-14

in van.jpg
in van.jpg 2008-02-19

kids2.jpg
kids2.jpg 2008-02-19

sugarcane!
jz-1.jpg 2008-10-14

meds4.jpg
meds4.jpg 2008-02-19

stickers4.jpg
stickers4.jpg 2008-02-19

stuck3.jpg
stuck3.jpg 2008-02-19

house #3 - the best!
front.jpg 2008-02-22

back yard.jpg
back yard.jpg 2008-02-07

dble poinsetta.jpg
dble poinsetta.jpg 2006-06-01

shawn and grey.jpg
shawn and grey.jpg 2008-02-18

kids table.jpg
kids table.jpg 2008-02-18

bball!
jond-1.jpg 2008-10-29

Madalo
preg.jpg 2008-10-29

We loved my piano!
piano.jpg 2001-08-29

panga.jpg
panga.jpg 2007-12-28

mosq spray.jpg
mosq spray.jpg 2008-02-15

Joshua.JPG
Joshua.JPG 2008-02-17

steka.jpg
steka.jpg 2008-02-18

"You are welcome"
entry.jpg 2007-12-31

house #2
front.jpg 2007-12-31

moving.jpg
moving.jpg 2008-01-30

Superbowl night...live at 2:30 AM
legos.jpg 2008-02-03

jayne.jpg
jayne.jpg 2008-02-03

andrew and anna.jpg
andrew and anna.jpg 2008-01-15

anna and katie2.jpg
anna and katie2.jpg 2000-04-15

TFC crew
bus-1.jpg 2008-10-29

boys.jpg
boys.jpg 2000-04-15

Dr. anna.jpg
Dr. anna.jpg 2008-01-13

dress up.jpg
dress up.jpg 2000-04-18

flying ants.jpg
flying ants.jpg 2001-08-29

jail2.jpg
jail2.jpg 2000-04-16

legos.jpg
legos.jpg 2000-04-14

nails.jpg
nails.jpg 2008-01-18

The girls
rick 205.jpg 2008-01-14

New friends
rick 221.jpg 2008-01-18

rick 220.jpg
rick 220.jpg 2008-01-18

snail.jpg
snail.jpg 2005-01-24

Worship
yep.jpg 2000-04-15

Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?  One thing I have discovered is that I can update my facebook status with the best of them, write random blogs about useless info daily, and speed text – even without a full keyboard!  But when it comes to writing about real things that matter – things that affect one’s whole life, inside and out – that is not something at which I excel!  These last few months have been times like that in my life.

To catch any of you up who actually read this, in the last few months God has brought me through some spiritual mountain tops and valleys that I was not expecting.  You may remember from previous blogs my lamenting about not going back to Malawi, how much I hated the weather, not feeling at home here in the States, my severe lonliness, etc.  (I still am not a fan of the weather in upstate New York!!) 

Since last Spring God has worked through a lot of those things in me. 

At the end of April and the beginning of May our family went on vacation to Georgia and Florida.  Besides getting some much needed relaxation and being spoiled by Shawn’s parents, we had amazing fellowship and conversations with friends throughout the trip.  By the time we came back, we both felt refreshed- even like there had been some closure (being in Savannah was rather odd for us since last time we were there we had just come home from Africa!)  And we came back ready to be the people He wanted us to be here.  We started praying and reading scriptures and praying and planning and praying...get the point?  He was teaching us a lot about spiritual warfare.  It is funny to think we lived in Africa, and yet we really started to learn to put this into practice right here in New York!  Anyway...God started working.  We saw people get saved this summer at random things like church picnics.  We had an amazing VBS that resulted in new kids and families being involved in the church and some wonderful contacts with non-church people.  We got involved in a group here called Horizons that works with international students.  The idea was that since we could not go all over the world right now, we would let the world come to us!  And it definitely has!  I have met people all over – Russia, Singapore, China, Australia, Nigeria, Togo, Italy, etc!  We “adopted” three graduate students for the time that they are here – one from China and two from Singapore.  We will be their family and teach them American customs and culture while they are here!  How much fun is that???

I also have come to learn to love Troy, the church and the people here, and to be excited about our time that we are here.  I feel God will send us back to the mission field someday – and hopefully to Africa!  But in the mean time He has stuff for us here.  And I admit that in all of this, we are looking at doing an international trip each year – it is in our blood now!

During all these exciting times we got the news that my mother had cancer.  She was diagnosed in mid June, when she went in for a “routine” hysterectomy and was life-flighted to another hospital because the cancer was so aggressive and wide-spread.  She started on chemo, and seemed to respond at one point, but she quickly went down hill with a blood infection because of the cancer spreading so rapidly.  By the end of August she went to be with Jesus.  I was able to be with her the night before she died and then as she passed away.  It was an exhausting time, but I was glad to hold her hand and sing to her and pray with her – even though it seemed she was not responsive any more.  Shawn was able to preach at her funeral, and gave a wonderful salvation message, which was exactly what Mom wanted. 
I am still trying to catch my breath – I can’t believe she is gone.  I can’t tell you the number of times a day I pick up my phone to tell her something funny that one of the kids said, or something that made me angry, or just to chat – only to remember I can’t. Any of you who have dealt with grief certainly understand what I am saying. 

And now my life goes on...we have rented a new house that we are ial moved in.  It is a single family home with a nice yard.  The living space is small – smaller than what we were previously in, so we are (once again) simplifying.  We have started school for the year, and the kids seem to be in a good groove already – I think we all liked the idea of that stability!  We are making new friends, getting the kids program going at church, and meeting new international students all the time!  This past weekend we went to Shawn’s cousin’s wedding, and it was a wonderful time of celebration and visiting with family.
And God is good. 
Still.
Yesu ndi wabwino.

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom . Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

This song by John Waller is one of my favorites right now.  The idea of "waiting" and "doing" at the same time is a hard concept to grasp!  My amazing friend Wanda once said that most people do not understand that waiting on God is not a passive thing, but rather is is a continuing act of obedience (the present perfect tense of waiting...something that happened in the past, is still happening, and will continue).  When he says in the song I will run the race even as I wait I realize how little I understand that idea!  It is my theme right now in my prayer life and time with God...to teach me what this means, to wait actively, to seek Him out and his will and desires...all the while waiting on his voice, and being still enough to hear it when He speaks!  He is overwhelming and beautiful, yet quiet and subtle all in one breath.  How complex (and simple) life with Jesus is!

 

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

I decided to change my blog to this website because I already had all the pics downloaded on shutterfly and this allows a lot more freedom for a fun site!  Thanks for keeping up with us!

Felix Starker

Fund raising video for street children in Malawi.